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Member since: Sat Mar 11, 2017, 09:31 PM
Number of posts: 5,957

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A Day in the Life of a Teacher.....

Me: Ok class, today...
Student: This is stupid. I'd rather be playing video games.
Office: *ring* Send (student) to the office.
Voicemail: My kid told me that YOU...
Email: We need you to sub on your prep.
Teacher coaches: Students are experiencing an all time level of trauma. Form relationships with all students and make connections every day.
SRSS: Make sure to incorporate ELA and math into your lesson plan daily, so we can boost our scores for data.
IEP: Implement these modifications and accommodations for these students every hour. Document it.
504: You are legally bound to adhering to these accommodations for these students. Document it.
Pinterest: Every teacher in the universe has a cooler and craftier idea and classroom than you.
Facebook: Omg. Did you hear about what happened in *insert teacher here* class?! Don't they even watch them? It's their job! How did (s)he miss that?! Yeah, and I heard...
Class roster: 30+ kids every hour, 6 times per day.
Student Services: You have 4 homeless students. You need to provide the following daily.
Student Medical alert: These students will die if you don't monitor these medical issues closely.
Professional Development: We're trying something new this year even though we're not ready to roll it out and there's no funding for it. Be sure to document that you are doing it correctly.
Media: Your classroom is going to get shot up any minute.
Surprise observation: Be sure goals are set, reports are finished, lesson plans are perfect, and that you hit the learning target and success criteria multiple times. We need documentation and evidence that you're doing this.
Standardized tests: You suck as a teacher. Also, your rating is based on this, but also, make sure students don't feel defined by their performance on these.
PBIS: Teach students the expectations in the hallway, cafeteria, classroom, and outside. Take students in the bathroom and reteach how to wipe, flush, and wash hands. Be sure to only reward positive behavior. Check in and check out with these specific students daily.
MTSS: We have 3 tiers of support. What about your gifted students, pull out students, intervention students? Why aren't you providing enough differentiation? You need to provide documentation.
Door: Keep me locked, so that students are safe. Yes you will be interrupted to open me 10x per hour.
Papers/Grading: Say good bye to your evenings and weekends.
Lesson plans: Are they aligned with school, state, U.S., and world wide standards? Be sure to document that.
The Powers That Be: What can we do to help?
Teachers: Please take something off our plate before adding something new.
The Powers that Be: Sorry, no can do. Btw, you also need to...
Tech Dept: We are working on correcting today's issue as quickly as we can.
English Language Learner: *crying, speaking a foreign language, feeling alone and scared*
The Powers that Be: Sorry, there's just not enough funding for those students.
Department Heads: I've been told we need to align all of our curriculum, assessments, and daily lesson plans. Be sure to document that.
Staff Memo: Be sure to attend the following meetings this week: staff, grade level, core subject, tech, school climate, school improvement.
Counselors: We saw 500 of the 900 students on our caseload, this month.
Social Worker: Yes, I filed that CPS report and the other one. Now we wait on the state to act.
Student: My step dad got arrested last night for beating up my mom.
Tornado Drill: Surprise! Make sure all students are safe. Now go back to teaching.
Fire Drill: Surprise! Make sure all students are safe. Now go back to teaching.
Internal Threat Drill: Surprise! Barricade your door and make sure all students are silent for 45 minutes. Go back to teaching.
External Threat drill: Surprise! Make sure student are silent and out of the funnel of potential bullet spray. Now go back to teaching.
Tutoring: Provided before school, after school, and during lunch.
Technology: Must be implemented into all lessons but also make sure to monitor all 30+ students at all times and make sure they're not doing anything inappropriate.
Data: You suck as a teacher.
Administrators: *literally being pulled in 20 directions at once, everyday, while fielding discipline, making multiple teacher observations, fielding staff, breaking up fights, keeping us safe, performing investigations, cooperating with police, meeting with students and parents, and attending all after school and extracurricular activities*
Employability grade: Be sure to document when students are tardy, not following directions, unprepared, and not collaborating well. Document this for all 175 students.
Academic Grade: Document all accommodations, modifications, retakes, and rationale for grades for each of your 175 students. No we will not provide district time for you to enter these into your grade book.
Special Ed State Dept: You must mainstream all students regardless of behavior, cognitive function, and/or potential violent episodes. Sorry, there's just not enough funding for
additonal support in your classroom.
State: Make sure you are highly qualified, but you must pay for all of your professional development, student loans, grad classess, conferences, hotel stay, food, travel, and substitute teachers out of pocket. And you need to update your certification. You'll need to pay for that too.
Bladder: You haven't peed in 7 hours, you're going to get another infection.
Heart: *racing*
Stomach: *in knots and anxiety coursing*
Brain: You're not enough. You'll never be enough.
Chest/Lungs: I can't breathe.
Eyes: *leaking tears*
Me: *smiles* (Tells self) Stop. Just suck it up. You're fine. You have 30+ students eyes on you right now. Do NOT let them down.
Society: F*ck respect for authority, including your teachers. Must be nice to get your summers off.
Parent of a student: You make a difference.
Student: I know I'm special and have value, because of you.
My own kids: Mom, why are your crying?
Me: *sets alarm for tomorrow to do it all over again*
-Written by Amber Guerreiro (middle school teacher) And posted on Facebook

"Layla" Crossroads Guitar Festival, Dallas, TX

This was my 4th time seeing Eric and the only time he didn’t do “Layla” acoustically.....love!

New Mumford and Sons tune....

Ray LaMontagne....Such a Simple Thing

I simply love this song!

We love Yeli!

Lewis Capaldi....

Love that Scottish “accent”....

"Don't Worry Baby".....the Beach Boys....

"Feel Flows".....the Beach Boys.

Thank you, Carl Wilson.......

Decided to take a break from political posts....

Feel free to add your own....

Best order confirmation ever......

Placed an order yesterday with a company that will remain nameless, this was the email response this morning....too cute!

Heartstrings, your order has shipped!

Your order of ****** was gently pulled by our team of experts and placed on a gold-trimmed pillow stuffed with the finest fibers known to man. Then, a team of six inspectors examined it under a magnifying glass, ensuring it was in perfect condition.

Once the inspection was complete, our veteran polisher (he was previously employed at the Tower of London, where he was responsible for polishing the Queen’s jewels) polished it as a quiet hush fell over the warehouse. “This package is getting shipped to Heartstrings” he whispered. “Take good care of it.”

We hope you had a wonderful time shopping at ******.In celebration, we have placed your name on our wall under the title “World’s Best Customer” and assigned you a dedicated parking spot right upfront. We’ve also hired a pilot to skywrite “Heartstrings Rocks!” above the Golden Gate Bridge. Thank you for supporting ******!!

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