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In reply to the discussion: I am a vegetarian. You've known me as a vegetarian for 20 years. Please do not invite me [View all]Manifestor_of_Light
(21,046 posts)I'm not a vegetarian but this is another food battle.
I went to a casual party at a house I had never been to, that was potluck. I asked the host what they were serving and he said "Pizza". I said "I'm allergic to tomatoes." Then later, at his house, he had a stack of pizza boxes. He said, "Can you eat cheese?" and I said yes, assuming he meant cheese and bread only. I said, "What's on it?" and he said "Bell peppers." I said, "I can't eat bell peppers."
I figured if he had pizza I had better bring my own food. He NEVER asked me what I COULD eat. So on the way to his house, I went to a nearby Subway sandwich store and got a tuna melt, chips and a drink. I sat on the patio and ate my own food, talked with the other people, and said nothing about the pizza. It is a good thing I did, because otherwise I would not have had any dinner. I was a good guest and brought my own food.
I brought some homemade brownies with walnuts that everybody liked.
He said nothing about my not eating pizza.
Then three months later, he sends me a nasty e-mail bomb griping about my "excessive food allergies". He did not ask me about bell peppers which are also part of the deadly nightshade family, like tomatoes. He also said he didn't like my "snide remarks". I said nothing about his pizza. I guess saying "I can't eat bell peppers" qualifies as a snide remark. He ended it with
"In other words, you are not welcome at my house anymore."
I'm not losing any sleep.
He complained about his wife fixing food (I counted a stack of 6 takeout pizza boxes in the kitchen) just a few days before she went in the hospital. I don't count ordering takeout as being a serious cooking effort. I had no idea about her going in the hospital either.
I told the group coordinator about it in an e-mail (this was a Meetup group) and she told me I should have gone to her to talk about it. I asked her what I or she possibly could have done, since the host didn't say anything until several weeks later. I couldn't think of anything.
Fortunately, I have forgotten what this passive-aggressive guy and his wife look like. BTW, I drove 75 miles one way with my husband to go to this guy's house to attempt to have a social life with people with similar views to mine. I think this guy has some problems.
I am a super taster and have some major food allergies. A couple of friends of mine have looked at me dumbfounded and unable to figure out what I could eat that they could cook, because I am allergic to shellfish and nightshade. There are a whole lot of veggies I just don't like. I did not have Chinese food until I was a senior in college and Japanese food until I was 33 and went to Benihana and loved it. They can't imagine life without tomatoes. I just went out to a sandwich shop every night.
I am in a picky eaters group on Facebook and I was shamed at the dinner table as a child for not eating boiled-to-death bitter greens (Southern cooking) and other things I couldn't stand. It did not give me an eating disorder. Big bossy grandma thought we were farmhands who ate a lot. We were not on a farm. They did their damndest to make me eat too much and eat things I was either allergic to or couldn't stand the smell of. I never gave in. I just said no.
I have also told people (former in-laws) that I refused to eat too much at Thanksgiving and make myself sick just so I could make them happy. They glared at me hatefully like I said something wrong.