Ah the holidays, and loss.

[nadinbrzezinski]

After my brother died I said it would be a good idea to do a virtual irish wake (bring all the virtual drink you wish) to remember those who have gone before us, and how we will remember them.

So let me start this, with both my dad and my older brother.

Suffice it to say, they never had a good relationship, and I fear they never really learned to appreciate each other's quirks. Dad wanted Max to have a stable job, a good life, and all that. These were the things my brother really could not do fully.

So what are the things I remember both for?

My dad, well, we got fairly close near his death. One time we flew down there, he had to be in the Hospital on an emergency basis, for blood transfusions and my mom had a surgery in a completely different hospital, so I took care of dad.

That was somewhat special, watching weird foods with Zimmerman with dad and Bear Grills Survival program, and hearing war stories from WW II. Some of them he never told anybody but my husband and ironically my older brother, who could not believe them. He told me those since he said I would also get it since I have been in a few shoot outs. While they were never as intense, I did get it. What he did, he did to survive, fully. I will leave it at that.

My brother, well over the years he became increasingly right wing. Oh I must admit, he truly hated the fact that Americans elected that man in the WH. If he had been in the States he would have been your archetypical white male, aka tea party. His emais, I stopped reading them a long time ago, included jokes that were on the far right of the spectrum, and he sent those to my mother too, so that did not help. Nevertheless, when one day I managed to get on the phone with him four months ago, and he started to spout those jokes, I went he must be doing better. So yes. I will remember him for those jokes and it is a mixed memory.

He was my little window into RW ideology and how pervasive it is. He was also very jealous of the rest of his siblings, especially my brother since well, he is very successful in his field, and I mean extremely successful. He works seven days a week, and if he did not have vacation he would do this 365 days of the year. So when people people start talking about doctor pay, he has earned every red cent of what he gets paid, and as an employee he hardly makes that much. But due to those jealousies my older brother really never asked. People travel from all over the world to see my other brother, but my older brother never dared ask. My other brother kept up with it, and talked with his doctors, but such is life. He was willing to use an air ambulance, but my older brother never said yes.

So things that I will remember, my dad's sense of humor and going on with life, and his...let's call it what it is, atheism. Where was god when his family got massacred during the holocaust? Yet he still sent us to a Jewish School and we attended temple every year. He loved the music. Oh and he did listen to midnight mass every year on the TV from the Vatican. He loved religious music, and Yddish songs.

My brother for his love of pure bred dogs. I got the photo of the only one that staid at home. His love for his daugher and wife, and yes, his bad right wing humor. I might not have been able to stand it, but it was what made him what he was.

So, to the both of them,

And for those who need it, here is the coffee, virtual and all,