"It's Your Responsibility to Challenge Bigoted Relatives Over the Holidays"

[StarfishSaver]

10. Honest conversations don't have to involve angry rhetoric

Loving and accepting family doesn't mean just sitting silently by while they denigrate others. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is help someone learn and grow. That doesn't have to be confrontational or cruel. There are many gentle ways to handle such things. But ducking them and remaining silent because "it's Thanksgiving" is a copout.

Imagine if you brought a gay friend to Thanksgiving dinner and a family member started spewing homophobic opinions in their presence. Would you say something or just remain silent because "family is family"? And if you'd say something, why not say something even when your gay friend isn't in the room? Do you stand up for what's right only if certain people can hear you or do you do it whenever it you're confronted with bigotry, whether the specific targets of that bigotry are around or not. If it's the former, you're not really an ally, you just play one in public.

This doesn't need to be done in a hateful or ugly way. But remaining silent is refuge of the privileged