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Showing Original Post only (View all)BREAKING NEWS: Trump makes surprise visit to Walter Reed to honor injured serviceman. [View all]
White House officials stated that the primary focus of President Trump's visit to Walter Reed Army Medical Center Saturday was to visit a service member recently injured in the line of duty.
Officials did admit that a portion of the nearly four hour visit was dedicated to Trump undergoing what they described as "a routine portion of the President's annual physical"--namely a measurement of his height. They stated doctors remain to recall the President to their hospital at own discretion on an ongoing basis to obtain other vital signs, such as temperature, blood type, nasal and ear canal cleanliness, intestinal appendix functioning levels and other measurements intended to get a fuller picture of his overall health for his yearly physical report.
However, officials insist that the majority of the time Trump spent at Walter Reed was to visit an injured serviceman, Staff Sergeant George George Glass.
"Sergeant Glass was wounded by sniper fire in Kandahar Province," the spokesperson said. "Normally, we don't release details of these highly classified missions, but President Trump insisted Sergeant Glass's bravery not be hidden from public view."
The spokesperson then stated the purpose of the mission was to investigate a potential link between Hunter Biden and Al Qaeda operatives. The link became known after former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, husband-and-wife attorneys Joseph DiGenova and Victoria Toesing, and former columnist for The Hill John Solomon spent the past several weeks in the Kybher Pass region meeting with former Taliban leadership.
Trump told White House insiders his nearly three hour, forty-five minute meeting with Sergeant Glass went very well.
"Upon entering the room, President Trump found Sergeant Glass smiling and wearing a red 'Make America Great Again' baseball cap," the spokesperson said. "Sergeant Glass then repeatedly thanked President Trump for many, many things, such as securing the southern border, taking a hard line on Chinese trade, reducing African-American unemployment to a historic low, exiting the onerous Paris Climate Treaty agreement, tackling new infrastructure projects on a near-weekly basis and draining the swamp."
The spokesperson added, "At one point, a tearful Sergeant Glass looked President Trump straight in the eye and told him, 'Sir, whatever you do, don't let the Deep State destroy you, sir. Sir, you do whatever it takes to bring those bastards to justice for this coup of an impeachment sham that Shifty Shiff and Nasty Nancy have going on in the House, sir.'"
At that point according to White House officials, President Trump pulled out the Presidential Medal for Honoring Bravery in Service Animals that he had originally intended to present to Conan, the service dog assigned to the Delta Force squadron responsible for killing former ISIS leader Abu Bahk al-Baghdadi and instead placed it around Sergeant Glass' neck, noting, "It looks very good on you. It would look good on me, too. You know, I always wanted one of these myself, you know? Maybe I should do that. Maybe I should give myself a medal and wear it around wherever I go. Boy, I bet that would drive the people in the fake news crazy. Fake News!"
When pressed by the media for any proof that this meeting actually took place at Walter Reed and for proof that a Staff Sergeant George George Glass actually exists--noting that such a name mirrored the exact plotline of the Season Two, Episode Nine of The Brady Bunch titled "The Not So Ugly Duckling"-- the White House Spokesperson responded, "You know, that's a very good question. We're going to look into that, and we should have a response for you as soon as we want to give you one."
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