General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Even if you're a "touchy, feely" guy, do NOT put your hands on a woman without her permission. [View all]DRoseDARs
(6,810 posts)People become hypersensitive if they've had a negative contact, while others like myself I couldn't readily explain the counter-instinctual aversion to social touch. People need to put their thinking caps on and ask themselves "Was Joe Biden preparing to rape me, or was he being overly-touchy and grossly clumsy in his attempt to reassure me? Is he being Uncle Joe, or Creepy Uncle Joe?" and apply that to whatever situation is making them uncomfortable. And to be perfectly clear, I would be wildly uncomfortable if Biden had done to me as described. He'd have gotten an immediate physical reaction: A surprised fight-or-flight shudder shaking him off of me and a confused/alarmed death stare until he explained himself. I say that because it has happened to me ... just not with Joe Biden obviously. It wasn't welcome in the slightest and while the intent wasn't malicious, they definitely did it from desire and I was not remotely reciprocating that interest. But again, despite the shock of the sudden unwelcome intrusion, I could read the situation and realize I wasn't under attack because I don't operate from the position of consciously assuming all uninvited touch is bad touch. Again, I do count myself among the those that have a hypersensitivity to being touched by others, but I control that to keep myself safe and to avoid as best I can needlessly screwing up social interactions. That incident was awkward for all parties but it was fleeting, thankfully.
Obviously none of us can truly know the inner workings of Biden's mind or this woman's, but it does give us an opportunity to discuss the larger sociological and psychological factors at work here. I don't discount her discomfort (again, happened to me) but I do have concern about people who function by default assume ill-intent in social touch in its typical forms. Breast grabbing is not social touch, it is an intentionally sexual-in-nature act outside of normal social interaction. I bring that example up specifically because people conflate sexual touch with general social touch. They are not the same thing. I personally don't think Joe Biden was being a creep, I think he was just being Joe Biden the well-meaning but clumsy oaf we've known for years. Personally, I'd forgive the intrusion with an explicit understanding not to do it again. But I'm neither him nor her, so all I can do is hope he was being supportive and that she comes to believe that as well. That's for them to figure out.