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Profile Information

Gender: Female
Hometown: UK
Home country: UK
Current location: UK
Member since: Fri Oct 13, 2017, 06:59 PM
Number of posts: 7,870

About Me

I am a Brit. I am a working class child of the troubles in Belfast who now lives a life of privilege. I am an anti-racist, progressive monster for truth. If I fail in being that monster, call me out....

Journal Archives

Nothing more draining than taking some of his jeans to the charity shop and then...

...breaking down and doing ugly cry, on the street, in my neighbourhood of 25 years. I think I need to wait a while before I do that again. I keep telling myself it was a blessing. He was in so much pain that death must have been such a sweet relief. I keep telling myself that he could hear me to the end and he knew how much he was loved (he knew that anyway!) and that I was going to be OK. And of course I will be, no other choice, but right now, not being drunk after 48 hours of self indulgence and hangovers, I am really struggling to process his face in my head as he died. I really want to get drunk again to sleep without his dying moments running through my brain, but that way lies ruin, so I am sure I will get about 2 hours sleep as I toss and turn, and tomorrow, again I will try and package up some more of the love of my life, as I ugly cry.

I am drunk and he died on me

I am pissed. Literally and figuratively. I should be taking time out and I will from when I wake up, but right now a am a wee bit drunk, cause my heart is gone, and life is fucked up, and my new reality means the love of my life is not with me. Did I mention I was pissed?

He died this morning. I was by his side

I am taking a few days out but I just wanted to say a big thank you to every one for all your kind wishes. See you when I can see clearly

Soph x

I am waiting for a call from the hospital to see if I can stay with him for just a little bit longer

My SO was blue lighted to the hospital 3 hours ago. Obviously I could not because COVID. I have just had a long conversation with the Consultant in A&E and they are trying to find a side room for him so I can be with him as he fights for his life. Due to the various complex health issues they will not try and revive him if he has a heart attack and his heart rate is very low. His kidneys have packed up completely and the liver is going the same way. Unless there is a miracle then he is not going to last very long. They are doing what they can to keep him comfortable, but that is about it. This has come about too fast. I don't know what to do.

Bed ridden and I got him a bell! Not the best plan I ever had...

The SO is now spending 24 hours a day in bed. We have had a couple of spills. One where we had to have an ambulance, another where I had to call the Porter to help me get him off the floor - I bought him a lovely tray of baklava to say thank you - it was at 6 am. He was a saviour. But now the SO has lost all confidence about getting out of bed as he is so fearful of falling over. And so now I am going to rant. That fucking bell is doing my nut in. Ding. Ding. Ding. Every 10 minutes. I am trying my best, I am not a natural carer - and as he is not getting out of bed I am having to give some very intimate care. I am not built for this, my gag reflex is for shit, but I have to be there, every single time. I have purchased a zimmer frame and today he was too scared to try, tomorrow I hope for a better result. If this is it, if he cannot improve from this, then I fear a hospice is next. Hell, I cannot even change the sheets because he never gets out of bed.

But as he cannot shout out (the cancer is in his lungs alongside everything else) the bell was not the best plan for my sanity, but it was the right plan for my man. The problem we have is that his cancer treatment is 250 miles away - I know that is nothing in America, But we are tiny and when you cannot even get your chap out of bed....


I love him, he is my heartbeat and i can do fuck all, I can't even get him out of bed. All of this is too much. Hugs please by DU family It has been a really hard day and i need some positive energy to help me do this all again tomorrow.

And the bell just rang!

U.S. has expelled 8,800 migrant children under coronavirus rules

President Donald Trump’s administration has expelled about 8,800 unaccompanied migrant children intercepted at the U.S.-Mexico border since March 20 under rules seeking to limit the spread of the novel coronavirus in the United States, according to court documents filed Friday by the Justice Department.
Since then, U.S. officials have been quickly removing migrants, including unaccompanied minors, without standard immigration proceedings.


They really are fascist scum. They are sending CHILDREN on their own across the border - vulnerable to exploitation and worse, cause cruelty is their only point.

So a Republican judge dismisses County DA in the Derek Chauvin murder of George Floyd

The fix is in. Apparently they were 'sloppy' in gathering evidence because they went to see medical examiners without having independent witnesses present. Because of course they do that in their normal duties. Get the fuck out of here. They are playing the white supremacist game right now. I wonder who the new DA will be? Hhhhmmm. It is just right in your face ugly at this point.

Rallygoer: "Because there's no COVID. It's a fake pandemic. Created to destroy the USofA''👀

From Trump's rally in Freeland, MI, last night:

CNN's Jim Acosta: "Why are you not wearing your mask?"

Rallygoer: "Because there's no COVID. It's a fake pandemic. Created to destroy the United States of America."

It gets even worse.

The party (Trump) told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command. (George Orwell, Big Brother) And oh boy the cultists have done this hook, line and sinker, denying a pandemic is pretty special with 200,000 dead, just because they worship at the altar of the Fuckwit in Chief... one would almost feel sorry for them if they weren't such racist fascist hate filled wankers.

TRUE American Carnage: Cover for TIME Magazine


This is the first time since Sept, 2001, that TIME magazine has featured a black border… and the second time ever in the history of the publication.

Gut wrenching.

Placing bets if anything of our constitution as we understand it will be left at the end of this...

Letter to The Times today

Employees have protections in the UK, they cannot be compelled to break the law by their employer. Especially when the employer is the state (and after the state has recognised that it is breaking the law). I suppose the only question is are there enough centrist grandees with the courage to stand up and vote with Labour and the other parties to STOP this bill in its tracks? Because if not, not only will we lose any credibility we have left on the world stage, but we should start placing bets if anything of our constitution as we understand it will be left by the time we get to kick these law breakers out of office...
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