Marauding Gay Hordes Drag Thousands Of Helpless Citizens From Marriages After Obama Drops DOMA

[meegbear]

Reports continue to pour in from around the nation today of helpless Americans being forcibly taken from their marital unions after President Obama dropped the Defense of Marriage Act earlier this week, leaving the institution completely vulnerable to roving bands of homosexuals. "It was just awful—they smashed through our living room window, one of them said 'I've had my eye on you, Roger,' and then they dragged my husband off kicking and screaming," said Cleveland-area homemaker Rita Ellington, one of the latest victims whose defenseless marriage was overrun by the hordes of battle-ready gays that had been clambering at the gates of matrimony since the DOMA went into effect in 1996. "Oh dear God, why did they remove the protection provided by this vital piece of legislation? My children! What will I tell my children?" A video communique was sent to the media late yesterday from what appears to be the as-yet unidentified leader of the gay marauders, who, adorned in terrifying warpaint, announced "Richard Dickson of Ames, Iowa. We're coming for you next. Put on something nice."

http://www.theonion.com/articles/marauding-gay-hordes-drag-thousands-of-helpless-ci,19325/

[OneGrassRoot]

1. LOL!

:spray:

:rofl:

:loveya: The Onion!

Thanks for posting, meegbear :hi:

[Dappleganger]

2. Oh noes, not the warpaint!

Think of the childrens!!

[RKP5637]

3. Disgusting, making good straight people gay by decree!

:toast: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :hide:

[demigoddess]

4. LOL

:applause: :applause: :applause:

[MinneapolisMatt]

5. I just ADORE the word

"marauding" hahahaha!

[madrchsod]

6. big hubbub by the reagan on the horse statue yesterday....

that`s all i`m going to say about what took place .

[Ignis]

7. Someone leaked!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r38x6mHfnwU

[DirkGently]

8. "Put on something nice." 8) We can't say the Republicans (& the Mormons) didn't warn us.

[HappyMe]

9. That's hugh !11

:rofl:

[defendandprotect]

10. Aaah ... thanks for a laugh today -- can't wait to hear what homosexuals are doing to military!!

I'd like a lot of changes there please!!

[Bragi]

11. I gave my wife the bad news

Told her I wasn't gay, but I see now that I have to live a gay life anyway.

She was much less upset than I expected. What a trooper.

[closeupready]

12. Hilarious.

:rofl:

[eppur_se_muova]

13. So it was written in the old prophecies. nt

[Kurovski]

14. Here's the under reported part: some of them thanked us.