Saudi King to buy Facebook for $150 billion to end the revolt: Goldman Sachs to advise

[sasha031]

In what is being termed as pure Wall street Gordon Gecko tactics, King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia has decided to make an offer of $150 billion to buy out Facebook. Inside sources within the kingdom suggest that he is very upset with Mark Zukerberg for allowing the revolt to get out of control. In a personal meeting between Mark Zuckerberg and King Abdullah on Jan 25, 2011, Zuckerberg had promised that he would not allow any revolt pages to be formed on Facebook even while he allowed Egypt and Libya revolt pages to be formed. But little did King Abdullah know Zuckerberg. Had he seen the movie “Social Network”, he would have been better than to trust Zuckerberg.
Left with no option, Abdullah advised by Goldman Sachs has decided to buy out Facebook and “clean out the weeds”. The offer on the table is $150 billion. Facebook balance sheet was shown to King Abdullah and his kingdom advisors had mentioned that it is not even worth $1 billion given that it generates no profit. But the King threw the report into the dustbin and fired his advisors and decided to hand over the investment banking mandate to Goldman Sachs who put the value at $150 billion. The deal will be all cash. It is worthwhile to remind our readers that Goldman Sachs had invested into Facebook at an unimaginable $50 billion valuation.

Social networking site Facebook has raised USD 500 million from Goldman Sachs and Russian Internet investment group Digital Sky Technologies in a deal valuing the company at USD 50 billion, says a media report.“Facebook, the popular social networking site, has raised USD 500 million from Goldman Sachs and a Russian investor in a deal that values the company at USD 50 billion,” the New York Times reported citing a source.The deal makes Facebook now worth more than companies like eBay, Yahoo and Time Warner.

http://dawnwires.com/politics/saudi-king-to-buy-facebook-to-end-the-revolt/


Dawnwires.com

(Sunday Humor article at Dawnwires.com are meant to humor our readers. They may or may not be the truth.)

[inademv]

1. inb4 Mark accepts n/t

[WolfoftheWild]

2. Facebook would be worth nothing if this actually happened.

[Buns_of_Fire]

3. Hold out for more, Mark!

I, for one, welcome our new Facebook overlord. (I believe in sucking-up when the sucking-up's good, y'know?)

[DeSwiss]

4. If he's smart.....

...he'll demand that the $150 billion be paid in barrels of oil. Those barrels would be worth $300 billion before June. Of course Facebook wouldn't be around but that's not a bad thing.

- Because Mark could start himself another http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMWz3G_gPhU">CIA front website and call it Phacebook.......

K&R

[boston bean]

5. What a stupid stupid king. someone will just make another facebook.

dear god. how did they get so much money being so god damned stupid.

[customerserviceguy]

7. Exactly

Facebook came from nowhere, somebody else will just develop another one, or two, or twenty. Let this idiot buy them all up!

[joshcryer]

12. I assume the OP edited in the part about it being a joke at the bottom and your post was...

...written without that knowledge.

[Motown_Johnny]

14. FreedomBook, the social networking site for the rebel in all of us!

:sarcasm:

[customerserviceguy]

6. He'd change the name to "ICan'tSeeYourFacebook.com" n/t

[KurtNYC]

8. not funny

so it is confusing.

[eilen]

9. Wow, this reads like a bizarre interlude in a Tom Robbins novel.

You have the crazy wealthy middle eastern king with his palace syncophantic advisors.. the irascible arrogant flakey American entrepreneur.... a nation of freedom wanting people. greedy banksters and a crooked stock market system....


All we need is a 20-something Katherine Heigel as a wacky idealistic broadcast journalist.

[Raksha]

10. Is this story for real or is it a prank?

I took it seriously when I first heard about it on another thread and it scared the crap out of me. But then someone said it's a joke. Time to check it out with Snopes?

[joshcryer]

11. It's not real. He couldn't buy it.

Almost a billion people use it, the US isn't going to allow it to be sold to a foreign entity.

[Raksha]

13. Thanks! (Huge sigh of relief here.)

[joshcryer]

15. The whole "Sunday humor article" thing should be a dead giveaway though.

What I find amusing is that 23k Facebook users 'liked' the article, and that the ads for the site got so many views they crashed. :rofl: