Obama: Aside From All The Weirdos And Freaks Around Here, The State Of The Union Is Strong

[robertpaulsen]

Obama: Aside From All The Weirdos And Freaks Around Here, The State Of The Union Is Strong
January 26, 2011


The president pledged that, with the exception of the nation's complete loonies, the country was on the right track.



WASHINGTON—Citing historical legislative accomplishments, an improving economy, and the American people's resilience in the face of adversity, President Barack Obama declared Tuesday that the state of the union—aside from all the weirdos, freaks, and truly bizarre citizens out there who are "just really, really strange"—is strong.

"Mr. Speaker, Vice President Biden, members of Congress, distinguished guests, and fellow Americans," Obama said, "nearly two years into our recovery from a recession that left our financial system on the verge of collapse, I stand here today confident that America is on a path to a better tomorrow, despite all the nutjobs and lunatics out there whose behavior is, honestly, kind of weirding the rest of us out."

"I mean, there are some serious wackos in this country," added Obama, singling out those with pierced eyelids and those who are always loudly clearing their throats for some reason. "But together, with the exception of those 9/11 conspiracy theory freaks, we can answer history's call and lay the foundation for future generations."

Delivering the second State of the Union address of his presidency, Obama used the 70-minute speech to strike an optimistic tone, saying that Americans are starting to feel the effects of the economic rebound and that, other than the 10 to 15 percent of the U.S. populace that is out of its mind and probably needs professional help, he has never been more confident in the nation's ability—maniacs notwithstanding—to rise to the challenges of our time.

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http://www.theonion.com/articles/obama-aside-from-all-the-weirdos-and-freaks-around,18929/