Not here to defend Joe, but I really question the 'system' about child abuse.

[sinkingfeeling]

I 'know', but did not witness the abuse of my 4 year old grandchild, who lives with her mother. For the second time in 4 years, my son tried to gain sole custody because of the arrest of the live-in boyfriend for domestic violence.

My granddaughter was afraid, had nightmares, crying spells, started hitting herself, reverted back to wetting her pants, and exhibited sexual knowledge far beyond her years.

I testified to what I had 'observed' about her complete change of personality (from a bright, happy child) in a court room. So did my son and daughter-in-law.

You know the result? Her mother kept full custody of her. I still think the boyfriend inappropriately touched her. Her mother has now told her she isn't allowed to discuss anything that happens in her home with us. 'What happens at mommy's house, stays at mommy's house.'

We were just blown off by the judge. She would not even allow the DHS report on the mother's home to be entered into the record, because the state agency will not testify in a court and therefore could not be challenged. We had the arresting police officers there. We had tried to get her to a child psychologist to see her, but they required the request come from the custodial parent!

My family is about 45 miles from the mother's home. So what the hell are you supposed to do?

[villager]

1. The system is entirely biased against fathers, actually

n/t

[seabeyond]

2. my brother had the same situation with his daughter. it all feeds. the dismissal and

minimizing of sexual assault by cain, penn state, dks rape, .... we are in a culture where we ignore and minimize these behaviors. it is all around us.

[proverbialwisdom]

3. Stay engaged. Make noise. http://protect.org and http://promisetoprotect.or g/legislative-institute

Exclusively for the sake of your grandchild, befriend her mother, maintain supportive contact, and urge her to read the terrible TIGER, TIGER by Margaux Fragoso. Get HER (you don't need to read it) a copy to be read without the knowledge of the suspected offender, eg. at your home while you spend time with your granddaughter.


Related work described here:

http://protect.org/top-campaigns eg. http://protect.org/top-campaigns/1555

http://promisetoprotect.org/sunshine-project

*****

http://promisetoprotect.org/contact

Promise to Protect does not work on individual cases of child abuse. If you know about a child who is being abused or are seeking information and assistance:

1. Please report the abuse immediately to local law enforcement authorities.

2. For a list of reliable list of resources we recommend the Resources section of PROTECT National Advisory Board member Andrew Vachss' website.

*****

Anyone with a brain and an interest in self-preservation will back off when there are watchful eyes on a young child (or, they're goin' down).