10,000 secrets for a perfect marriage. By Mark Morford

[madokie]

Keep a few secrets. Try separate beds. Have kids. Don't have kids. Have kids later. Get the hell away from each other for awhile, regularly, to make the heart grow fonder and the reunion sex hotter and the smell, taste, feel of each other that much fresher.

Oh, sex? Yes, definitely have lots of sex. Make it interesting, variegated, experimental even. Mix it up. Shake it out. Slap it new. Emotionally, too. Spiritually.

Don't do the same old thing. Don't assume. Don't predict. This is a big one. Huge. Do you want to guarantee the imminent soul death of just about any relationship, marriage, long-term love connection? Do this: Assume you know the person, through and through. Assume you have them all figured out, all likes and dislikes, quirks and habits, positions and reactions, all tied up neat in a little box. Allow no room to change, evolve, surprise. Build lots of rules and walls and limitations. Watch your hearts wither and die.

All just a handful of suggestions, they say, on how to make marriage, love, relationship work, last, survive more than a blip and a hiccup. But is it true? Is there possibly any sort of formula? Can there ever really be? Of course they're can't. But that won't stop us from trying. Over and over again. Forever. ...


(Full URL: http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2011/09/28/notes092811.DTL&nl=fix)

[SpiralHawk]

1. Shut the damn TV off

Cut the cable.
Take the money and buy a nice dinner each month.
Toast each other for doing something wonderful for America by helping to Starve the Beast (R - Corporate Media, Inc.)

[Phentex]

2. Do the dishes, plan a meal, turn your socks right side out...

mop every once in a while, walk with me, remember *your* mother's birthday, and from Sir Paul:

Don't get too tired for love
Don't let it end
Don't say goodnight to love
It may never be the same again

[no_hypocrisy]

3. Separate bathrooms and

don't go to bed angry.

[RockaFowler]

15. Seperate Bathrooms works wonders

[no_hypocrisy]

4. Dupe. Sorry. Delete.

[seabeyond]

5. i read your little bet. and clicked out of thread

as i am reading the first page, i am thinking, ... damn, i am tired of people telling me i have to do all this to have a successfull marriage, lol.

came back in to read the article, to argue this little bet.

ah ha

the article is not at all what this little bet is about.

i am just not that exciting and never have been. i dont need shake ups to get on in life. never cared much for shake ups. others can do. i am never bored and may not be exciting for others. but i sure in hell am not changing myself at this date to hold onto a hubby. lol.

[d_r]

6. 3 secrets for women

I should write a magazine article, it could be on the cover of a magazine at the grocery store check out. "Three secrets for keeping your man happy." It's so simple, and it will work for 99% of men in the USA.

1. Make him a sandwich
2. Give him oral sex
3. Don't talk while the game is on

You are welcome.

[seabeyond]

7. 3 secrets for men

1. cook her a meal
2. give her oral sex
3. talk to her after a game.

[d_r]

8. exactly.

I'd add one thing to #3, that is "actually listen."

[seabeyond]

9. lol

;)

[SoCalDem]

17. I'll add to your list.

the washing machine is not a space shuttle..it's easy to operate..

My husband was an only child born to a mother who had him at 40..his dad was 59 when he was born. He was raised as a prince..

I have been working on him for 41 years:)

OUR sons were raised quite differently.

As soon as they could reach the knobs on the washer & dryer, they did their own laundry:)

'They all could cook almost anything by the time they were 10, and they all got their own irons from "Santa" one Xmas:)

Their wives are eternally grateful :rofl:

[no_hypocrisy]

16. 4. cold beer

[HappyMe]

10. It's really easy to get caught up in the day to day

blah of life.

Little surprises now & then are good. Listen. Really listen.

[madokie]

11. Kick

[noamnety]

12. If you snore

get that small surgery thingy to fix it. Nobody enjoys decades of sleep deprivation, nobody enjoys being with someone who's had decades of sleep deprivation. Just f'ing get the surgery instead of putting your spouse through hours of revolting noises every damn night for years.

[madokie]

13. My wife used to snore and now that she has dentures she no longer snores

I liked it when she snored for some reason though, I think it was confirmation that I wasn't alone in the night. Now when I wake up and I don't hear her snoring it startles me.
I guess sometimes one persons snore is the other person security

[seabeyond]

14. interesting. shhh, slept with hubby before married. lol.

and jeeezus fuckin christ, the snorin. i had never heard anything like it. it is so hard for me to go to sleep as it is. but lordy. that weekend i said to myself, i can never marry this man. and i was a bet serious cause i could not imagine a lifetime of no sleep

he always gets to sleep before me. so i crawl in to bed hoping it is a time of pause in the snoring. once asleep, it has never woken me. it is just the getting to sleep that is hard for me. all conditions have to be perfectly ideal for that to happen. no lights, no noise....

a rub on a shoulders has him turning on side and it generally stops then

sent him to sleep doctor to check to see if it effected his sleep. he is fine, even with all that noise.