Sexual Preference? What Does That Even Mean?

[MineralMan]

I see that phrase used a lot, and don't really get it. Now, I understand what Sexual Orientation means, since it more or less implies something one does not select. But Sexual Preference? That I don't understand so much. Personally, I prefer sex that occurs with a frequency that suits me, and with someone to whom I'm attracted. Both have changed many times over the years. Preference implies choice, and those are my choices.

I think the phrase is often misused to mean something it shouldn't mean.

[leftstreet]

1. This has potential

:popcorn:

[MineralMan]

2. Now, stop that...

:rofl:

I am really hoping for this to be a serious, thoughtful thread.

[closeupready]

3. That's an old term that has fallen out of favor generally.

You still see it used, but less so.

[MineralMan]

5. I see it used from some on the right, though.

When it is, I sense an "it's your choice" undertone. It's not a term I use at all.

[closeupready]

8. Right; like "lifestyle" - I have come to LOATHE that word, and I didn't always.

It's not even a word in my vocabulary.

[ldf]

34. in this discussion there is only one "lifestyle choice"

and it is which brand of religious hogwash you want to live your life by, then try to force others to do the same.

[yardwork]

31. And your sense is exactly correct. It's kind of a silly distinction, though.

As you point out, there is a lot of preference when it comes to sex.

Bigots scream, "It's a choice!" as if there were something wrong with being gay. It's not a choice to be gay or not, but what if it were? So what. It's still nobody else's business and no reason to discriminate against people.

[FSogol]

4. Sexual Preference: Yes.

::woohoo: :woohoo:

[MineralMan]

6. But of course. But, then, you have certain clergypersons, for whom

the preference is: Never. :shrug:

[Chan790]

23. Oh if only.

I dropped out of the Catholic seminary. I know maybe 3 dozen priests personally enough to know this...none of them are celibate. Two have illegitimate kids. They're all quite acquainted to the bishop betwixt their knees.

Priestly celibacy is a joke. Whether one supports it in principle or not...it's not occurring factually.

[itsallhappening]

7. For me, it means being with a couple of chicks who have little or no inhibitions.

As long as they're hot, of course.

[Glassunion]

9. Twins

[Chan790]

24. Nah, been there. Got creepy fast. n/t

[Glassunion]

25. Nah... Creepy is when the twins are

Brother and sister.

[cliffordu]

29. Not in 1974 it wasn't....

Ooooh, you mean different twins??

c

[louslobbs]

10. I prefer having sex to having no sex, did I misuse that? I'm gay, and my sexual preference is yes

that I prefer it to no sex. This is so confusing........if I were bisexual, then I could have a preference for sex with a woman at some point and then have the preference for sex with a male at some other time. Maybe it's in this context.......or........since I hire people for productions I work on, it could be posed as a question.....which sex do you prefer to hire or work with? In that case, I would have no preference. Some people feel as though I chose to be gay, they, I must assume, believe that my sexual preference is male........even though I did not choose to be gay and neither did my partner of 18 years or any of our friends..........some people prefer to skip sexual foreplay, and I think unless you are really rushed, many, myself included, wouldn't usually prefer that....at least I don't think so........sexual preference could also refer to sex positions I would guess..........I mean, preference for one or two sexual positions over the preference of the many others....... I guess I'll just go with what MineralMan said, I prefer sex that occurs with a frequency that suits me and my partner, who I am definitely attracted to.
Lou

[justiceischeap]

11. A term used often by the Right to reframe the debate

Kinda like pro-life instead of anti-choice.

[markpkessinger]

22. The term also has a history within the LBGT movement...

... see #21 below.

[customerserviceguy]

12. It was a way of describing sexual orientation

so that it could be cast as a choice, instead of the way someone was hard wired. It was how the right wing tried to take over the debate while attempting to look reasonable to those in the middle.

[Recovered Repug]

13. I strongly prefer

having a partner.

[Swede]

14. Do you prefer the lights on,or off?

:shrug:

[edbermac]

15. My sexual preference? Every other day.

;-)

[QC]

16. Doggie or missionary? Lights on or off? Costumes? Restraints?

Those are preferences.

As you say, orientation is something else entirely.

Thanks for bringing up this subject!

[Behind the Aegis]

17. When discussing GLBT issues, it usually means the person using the phrase...

...is a fucking idiot.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

18. Well, there's that. LOL

[yardwork]

30. Win.

[auntpurl]

19. Would it be bad if it were a preference?

I think for most GLBT people, the orientation is hardwired. But for some people, surely, they make the choice to experiment or even move to sex/relationships with same sex/other sex? And what's wrong with that, right?

[yardwork]

32. Exactly. It's nobody's business, any more than heterosexual sex is anybody's business.

I have no idea what kind of sex you like, and you have no idea what kind of sex I like. If you are straight and I am a lesbian, we still haven't told one another one single thing about our sex lives. Nothing.

[JanMichael]

20. Interesting but I have to say my orientation has never changed.

If the orientation did magically switch back and forth would that simply indicate changing preferences?

[markpkessinger]

21. There's a bit of a fraught history involving these terms

There was a point in the gay rights struggle when some in the gay community embraced the term "sexual preference" (along with the implication of "choice" that term carries) as a means of breaking free of a disease model of any sexuality other than heterosexuality. The understanding of homosexuality as a disease or a mental disorder was very widespread until the 1960s. So those who embraced the term "sexual preference" did so mainly as a political act of defiance against a prevailing understanding of homosexuality as pathology. The underlying political strategy was to foster the idea that it was an individual's fundamental right to choose his/her mode of sexual expression, as opposed to seeing homosexuality as a disease or disorder in need of a cure or treatment.

As a political strategy, it had some success, but of course was unconvincing to the religious moralists, who frankly didn't accept the validity of that kind of personal autonomy. Religious moralists seized upon the implied "choice" involved in the term "sexual preference," in order to characterize it as a moral failing -- a sin -- which they asserted one did not have to choose. But I doubt any of those who chose the term "sexual preference" would have ever said they had "chosen" to be gay; if anything, their "choice" was that of deciding to live openly as gay people. It wasn't long before people began speaking of choosing to live a "gay lifestyle." But that term proved to be rather problematic, too, because it tended to reduce the matter of one's sexuality to a political idea of a particular, ghettoized subculture in one of the nation's major metropolitan centers. But of course, gay people knew, and still know, that the intrinsic aspect of a person's sexuality can be quite distinct from one's extrinsic expression of sexuality in the context of a particular subculture. Eventually, "sexual orientation" became the more preferred term, both because it resonated more with the experience of most gay people that their sexuality was something instrinsic, something that had always been a part of who they were, even as children. But there was, initially at least, some resistance to the term "sexual orientation," because people feared it could be too easily be co-opted by the old, homosexuality-as-pathology model. But in time, as more and more research concluded that there was simply no valid basis for the old pathological understanding, those fears began to subside. Nowadays,"sexual orientation" is, by far, the preferred term and, I think, the most accurate.

[ZombieHorde]

26. Preference is sense of humor, political leanings, intelligence, and if your shallow,

bank account and credit rating.

[aikoaiko]

27. Preferences was co-opted by homosexuality haters to denigrate non-hetero orientations.

Preference is neutral in terms of genetics or experience. Preferences can be exclusive or not.

Nevertheless the haters often use preference to denote the idea that bisexuals or homosexuals could change their preferences if they so chose.

So I use orientation.

[cliffordu]

28. I prefer sex.

All the time. Mostly.

Does that count??

[BiggJawn]

33. I prefer to have sex.

So I guess that's my "preference". My orientation is STR8.