Tom Monaghan starting new gourmet burger delivery business ... Gyrene Hamburger

[Bozita]

I think he's really lost it.

I'm wondering if Erik Prince is investing in this.


Domino's, Ave Maria guru Tom Monaghan starting gourmet burger delivery business
By LAURA LAYDEN
Posted September 25, 2011 at 12:26 p.m.


-snip-

He calls his new venture Gyrene Hamburger. The name gyrene is given to Ave Maria’s sports teams. It’s a nickname for a Marine, thought to have come from a combination of “GI” and “Marine.”

“History is one big battle between good and evil,” said Monaghan, a Naples-area resident. “At Ave Maria, we want to create warriors for good.”

In the 1950s, Monaghan spent three years in the Marine Corps. Suiting its name, the new hamburger business will have a warrior-like feel. Employees will wear camouflage uniforms and the store, he promises, will be as spotless as barracks. The drivers will be known as gyrene joggers and the managers will be captains. There will be an extensive training program, called the burger boot camp.

“Everybody is going to be referred to as sir or ma’am,” Monaghan said of his customers. “Then we’re going to salute you, and you’re going to be on your way.”

-snip-

more...
http://www.naplesnews.com/news/2011/sep/25/dominoes-tom-monaghan-gourmet-burger-delivery-ave/

[fishwax]

1. that does not sound like a pleasant experience

[jmowreader]

31. Imagine WORKING in a place like that!

I can just imagine reporting for work on my first day:

"You have half an hour to get a high-and-tight haircut. When you report back in, be in PT uniform ready for a three-mile run."
'No, I have half an hour to find another job.'

[fishwax]

32. lol -- no kidding

'No, I have half an hour to find another job.'

That would definitely be my reaction :rofl: :wtf:

[MadHound]

2. Reading the article, it sounds as though this venture will fail

No sides, no drinks, no substitutions? That's not going to go over well. And when you're talking "gourmet", you're talking about something beyond catsup, mustard, mayo, lettuce, and pickle. No cheese, no onion, sorry but those are basics you need. If you're going to go gourmet, then mushrooms, some interesting veggies(avocado) and such need to be included.

Nope, not even delivery will help this turkey fly.

[Initech]

3. I think I'll pass.

[quinnox]

4. I don't know, this sounds like something

that may be worth trying, speaking as a potential customer. I mean, I can see one day feeling hungry for a gourmet burger at home and wanting to order it, like a pizza. This guy might be onto something here.

[MadHound]

5. Read the article, it ain't no "gourmet" burger,

A dearth of anything "gourmet", no sides, no drinks.

[hatrack]

6. Oh, come ON! It's the guy who created Dominoes - discs of cardboard with ghosts of tomatoes on top

And he's going to do "gourmet" burgers? :puke:

[quinnox]

7. Ok, I am someone who does hate Dominoes

and I'm aware he was the founder of it. But I'm saying the concept sounds appealing. Yea, if the burgers taste like crap then I wouldn't be interested. But I would be willing to try it once and see how they taste.

[hatrack]

10. Well, it's a worthwhile concept, I guess . . .

But I'd bet dollars to donuts he's is most emphatically NOT the guy who can pull it off.

:hi:

[beac]

16. Did you know that Monaghan is an anti-choice, homophobic

Opus Dei super right-wing crusader? That alone is reason not to buy anything the man is selling.


edited for typo

[Odin2005]

19. Their pizza has gotten a lot better since he left, fortunately.

[MadHound]

28. It has?

I tried it out, due to desperation, last year. Still tasted like shit to me.

[Odin2005]

33. They changed their dough recipie a couple years back. It's pretty "meh", but...

...at least it doesn't taste like cardboard anymore.

Still, I'd rather get Pizza Ranch.

[Fire Walk With Me]

8. Soylent Gyrene is made of PEOPLE!

[Ian David]

13. Oh. You beat me to it. :P n/t

[Fire Walk With Me]

14. GMTA :)

[eShirl]

9. U.S. armes forces as a burger marketing angle?

Somehow this doesn't quite seem right.

[Bigmack]

11. "You fucking maggots...."

"... You WILL enjoy your burger, won't you! Well...? I CAAAANNN'TTT HEEEAAAR YOUUUU! SOUND OFF LIKE YOU GOT A PAIR!"

[SammyWinstonJack]

24. ...

:spray:

[Ian David]

12. Soylent Gyrene is PEOPLE! It;'s made from PEOPLE! n/t

[kestrel91316]

15. Oh dear. Please tell me this is from The Onion.........

[beac]

17. Even if I wasn't a vegetarian, I wouldn't buy the most delicious burger in

the world if it was being sold by that Opus Dei wingut.

[PlanetBev]

18. Got a better name for them

The Burgers of Oppression.

[Odin2005]

20. Thats creepy

[sarcasmo]

26. +1

[Bozita]

27. +1

[MilesColtrane]

21. Will it include little corpse-shaped dispensers oozing ketchup "blood" for dipping?

Military Fetish Cult Burger?

No thanks.

[Bozita]

22. kicking because this is just too damn good to miss!

[SammyWinstonJack]

23. Coocoo for cocoa puffs.

:crazy:

[sarcasmo]

25. I will not give Tom jesus freak Monahan one cent .

[COLGATE4]

29. Monaghan is a RW Xian Fundie freak whose major 'contribution'

has been to fund viciously anti-choice organizations and initiatives, and to try and create his own little version of Fundie Paradise (Ave Maria, Florida, the city where you can't buy condoms or rent porn). He also funds the so-called Fudie Legal Groups that fight to get the 10 Amendments put in our schools and courthouses, and is an overall, all-around douchebag.

[jmowreader]

30. Monaghan has two big problems

Well, three.

His first problem is Jimmy John's. They already deliver sandwiches, they're nationwide and there's nothing preventing them from installing Autobroilers and adding burgers to the delivery menu.

His second problem is Five Guys, who already sell gourmet hamburgers nationwide--and they don't do the "my way or the highway" act Monaghan is trying to pull off. It would take some work to develop a package to get a Five Guys hamburger to a delivery customer without the bun dissolving, but that'd be easier than trying to develop a whole restaurant chain.

His third, and worst, problem is his very limited menu. In the article he claims he's not going to do drinks because, in part, people already have what they want to drink at home. People also have hamburger meat at home.

Monaghan had first-mover advantage with Domino's--when Monaghan opened his business there were no national pizza chains and very little pizza delivery outside the huge cities, so delivered pizza on an ultimately worldwide basis was destined to do well. Pizzas aren't all that easy to make at home, either. Hamburgers? That's a different story--not only are there a ton of burger joints, it's pretty easy to make a good burger at home.