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U.S. Commemorates 9/11 By Toasting Stable Afghan Government From Top Of Freedom Tower

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joeybee12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-13-11 09:13 AM
Original message
U.S. Commemorates 9/11 By Toasting Stable Afghan Government From Top Of Freedom Tower


NEW YORKIn a moving and beautiful ceremony held atop Lower Manhattan's gleaming, 120-story-tall Freedom Tower, the nation commemorated the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks by raising a glass to the stable democracy of Afghanistan and to a decade of unprecedented peace and prosperity across the globe.

As a brilliant cascade of red, white, and blue fireworks lit up the skyscraper's observation deck, those in attendance reflected on the horrible tragedy that improbably, and stirringly, gave way to a harmonized Middle East and one of the most triumphant and fruitful eras in the history of the great American republic.

"A decade ago, 3,000 of our citizens perished in a senseless attack on American soil, and as I stand here today atop this magnificent edifice, celebrating the thriving republic of Afghanistan and all our allies in the now wholly stable Muslim world, it's clear the U.S. has not only risen from the ashes, it has flourished," said former U.S. president and master of ceremonies George W. Bush, who was widely applauded after 9/11 for respecting the rights of citizens at home and abroad while combating terrorism through largely peaceful means. "These last 10 years could have been divisive, turbulent, sad, hopeless, and grotesque. But instead, they were the exact opposite of those things. And for that we must all feel both blessed and truly proud."


Afghanistan, which has served as a beacon of harmony and progress in the Middle East ever since the U.S. militarys brief intervention in 2001.

"May we always know a tranquility as real and lasting as this!" added Bush, raising his glass high as the families of 9/11 victims and various Muslims from around the world held hands in a swaying circle around him. "To us! To all of us!"

http://www.theonion.com/articles/us-commemorates-911-by...
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The Velveteen Ocelot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-13-11 09:15 AM
Response to Original message
1. The Onion does it again.
I'd laugh, but...
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joeybee12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-13-11 09:16 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. I know...this biting satire bites too much today...nt
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Arctic Dave Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-13-11 10:06 AM
Response to Original message
3. Dayum!
Painfully funny.
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begin_within Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-13-11 10:07 AM
Response to Original message
4. For the first time, the Onion has made me feel sad instead of making me laugh.
I think they blew it with this and they should remove it. Sorry.
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kenny blankenship Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-13-11 10:08 AM
Response to Original message
5. If I had only one recommend to give this year, I'd leave it right here.
Edited on Tue Sep-13-11 10:15 AM by kenny blankenship
Funny story is funny because so painful and so predictable.

"To us. To all of us," he toasted. Is Spandau Prison still open?

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piratefish08 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-13-11 10:09 AM
Response to Original message
6. two paragraphs in. i was TWO fuggin' paragraphs in before I even suspected Onion.
I've crossed the line. I can no longer separate satire from real life.
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SpiralHawk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-13-11 10:12 AM
Response to Original message
7. I hope they featured Freedom Fries (R)
to accompany that French champagne. OMG - RepubliCons glugging French champagne - how socialist can you be?
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The Velveteen Ocelot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-13-11 10:32 AM
Response to Reply #7
10. It's satire...
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SpiralHawk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-13-11 12:13 PM
Response to Reply #10
11. Indeed it is - glad you noticed
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coalition_unwilling Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-13-11 10:14 AM
Response to Original message
8. Brilliant satire.K & R - n/t
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bullwinkle428 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-13-11 10:28 AM
Response to Original message
9. How sad is it that The Onion is now
receiving unrecs at DU.

K&R.
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