I talked my mom out of going to Japan this year

[Generic Other]

Her family lives within 50 miles of Fukushima. She has gone home every October for as long as I remember. She called the relatives yesterday. Can't tell you how badly that made me feel when she told them she wasn't coming this year. Mostly because of how the family interprets it. Can you imagine living there and even your own relatives fear coming to see you?

I felt some sense of shame for advising her to stay home. Please tell me I did the right thing.

[supernova]

1. Tough call

Is it possible to invite at least some of them to come here for a visit? Offer to get them out of the stress for a little while?

[Generic Other]

17. They all know they are welcome here

They can't leave. Unless they have no choice.

[snagglepuss]

2. I can understand how you feel but I definitely think you did the right thing.

[Brickbat]

3. It doesn't seem to me that this is the right thing.

So I can't tell you that it is.

[FSogol]

4. I agree. n/t

[Generic Other]

6. I thinks it's why I felt so bad

for my relatives. They are in a bad situation. Part of me also said my mom would demand too much attention at a time when they have more important survival priorities.

Also, I don't trust the Japanese government's assurances that it is safe.

But still, I hated the message it sent them.

[Hawkowl]

32. It's NOT safe

There has just been posted a thread to the greatest page detailing the potential danger. The radiation has NOT been contained, one of the cores has been suspected to have melted through. the. floor. and there is a significant chance of more radiation leaked into the environment. The radiation levels are already WORSE than Chernobyl.

How could you not advise her to stay home?

[Generic Other]

35. Many people have had to make hard decisions like this

To be separated from home. I more clearly understand the pain that Native Americans felt at the loss of their land since this event.

Thanks for your input! I appreciate it.

[TheWraith]

11. I agree entirely.

In fact, I have stronger words than that as concerns the perception of danger in Japan, but I don't want to guilt-trip anyone.

[Name removed]

16. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[TheWraith]

20. Should I apologize for understanding science?

The panic in Japan is a panic, not a real threat.

[Name removed]

21. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[snooper2]

36. This post reminds me of a YouTube video I stumbled across one time

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


It's greatness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSETYGp8mJA

[Generic Other]

40. Leave Brittany alone!!!

Thanks for making me smile.

[Wait Wut]

38. Wow.

I was going to give you my sympathy, even though I don't "completely" agree...until I read this comment.

[Generic Other]

39. I am sorry I don't care what that poster thinks

That person has stalked every thread on DU where anyone posts Fukushima info to mock, ridicule and deliver the message: "Nukes good. You all are just stupid."

ENOUGH!

[closeupready]

45. 100% totally agree. While that attack was against the rules, it was understandable.

IMHO.

[WhollyHeretic]

23. So why did you ask?

:shrug:

[Generic Other]

24. I was asking my DU friends

Are you one of those? I would then like to know what you think.

[Ian David]

5. It's not our call. n/t

[Generic Other]

9. Yeah...I didn't want to be the one to make the decision

Now I feel like I was a coward.

[Ian David]

12. You have family over there. You know better than we do what conditions on the ground are REALLY like

You also know better than we do what your mom would be able to handle once she got there.

[Odin2005]

7. If I were your mom I would have went to see them regardless of the danger.

Family is family.

[snooper2]

8. Her decision and it's not like she's going to be living there, just visit

jeez...

Just do what you do when you go to Mexico, don't drink the water :)

[Generic Other]

13. They pay her ticket every year

I have no say. She does live with me though, and I am responsible for her safety.

[snooper2]

25. Is she 45 or 95?

[Generic Other]

29. 85

And frail. And requires a lot of attention on the part of younger relatives who are currently dealing with way too much stress in their own lives.

[snooper2]

33. Ah, a little stress is good for ya

puts hair on your chest :) And turns it cool colors

[Generic Other]

37. I need one of these then

[Dorian Gray]

30. Is

your mother incompetent and incapable of making decisions for herself?

[Generic Other]

34. Old, limited English skills, fragile, bent over with a cane

lives with me because social security and veteran's widow's pension leave only enough to afford the catfood as many seniors know.

If she goes, I buy the ticket, fill out the forms, deliver her to the airport terminal. Someone in Japan picks her up.

The language gap is enormous.

So in answer to your question, I don't think she is either incompetent or incapable. But she is kind of dependent.

However, she is free to make her own choice in the matter. I simply voiced my opinion.

[Pithlet]

10. Try not to be so hard on yourself. It is ultimately her decision.

I think you did what you felt was best, and it is totally understandable. Your reasons are sound.

[JVS]

14. I'd invite them out to visit for a change of pace.

Do you have the resources to do it that way?

[Generic Other]

19. Yes. They all know they are welcome to come here

but I understand why they won't.

[renate]

15. I'd have advised my mom to do the same thing

There's just too much unknown about Fukushima; people almost certainly aren't being told the full truth about their radiation exposure. There's no need for your mother to expose herself to danger needlessly just because of a tradition of visiting in October. I do sympathize because it's so sad to make your relatives feel bad, but I would hope they wouldn't want her to risk her health for their sakes.

[Generic Other]

18. Thanks for the kind words

I still feel like a coward.

[EFerrari]

27. I would, too. There's too many unknowns.

It would be very sad not to see the family, especially when they might be able to use some cheering up. But the risk to my mother's health would outweigh that for me.

[dana_b]

22. don't beat yourself up

you love your mother and want the best for her (and that doesn't mean that you don't want that for your other relatives). Ultimately it was her decision.

[Generic Other]

26. She's old and frail

Getting her safely there and back is a concern without the stress caused by conditions in the area. Since she lives with me, I am somewhat responsible for her from a legal standpoint.

The family is eating rice and vegetables they have grown and harvested since Fukushima. Like every bite of food they take is time-release poison.

Their house is not even repaired.

I feel so sick over this.

[dana_b]

44. I'm sorry

that is not an easy situation to be in. If you are responsible for her, you are obliged to keep her safe. Be easy on yourself.

[closeupready]

28. I would have expressed concerns, too.

I don't know that I would have gone to any great lengths, since one assumes one's parents know more than you do.

Ask yourself this: if you hadn't said anything, and she went, came back and got ill with some radiation-related illness, wouldn't you feel equally bad?

It's a no-win situation, IMO.

[Generic Other]

31. I think she's too old to worry about long-term problems

But, a decade or so ago, another plant very close to the farm had an incident. The family physician advised her not to go then. She did. She developed a thyroid condition a few years ago.

Is there a causal relationship? Who knows?

[pitohui]

42. for liability reasons family doctors always tell old folk not to travel

one of my friends was told not to travel because of a-fib!!! for cryin' out loud, did the doctor think a-fib would get better if she stayed home? needless to say, my friend ignored the advice and travels the world, the doc can't give her the "all clear" for liability reasons i guess but my friend would miss her whole life if she listened to this ass-covering type of advice

[pitohui]

41. since she's 85 i will respectfully suggest you did the wrong thing

i understand that it's your mom and you worry but an 85 year old woman no longer has to worry about getting cancer from radiation that takes 30 or 40 years to develop

she DOES have to worry about maybe she will have very few more years in which to make her trip back home to see her family in japan

if she were 35 or still having kids or whatever, i think your decision was proper

since she is 85, i think the harm done by missing the trip is greater than the harm done of not going and potentially never seeing those relatives again

this is JUST my opinion of course but considering you say she's 85 and frail, i question if she will ever be younger and more able to travel than she is today

again JUST my opinion

i would have told mom to seize the opportunity while she can still travel

[Generic Other]

43. I did tell her it was up to her

but I also talked about the reasons I thought she should postpone the trip. Ultimately, she decided. I can see your point about her age and seizing opportunities.