Republicans: Trillions Could Be Cut from Budget if We Eliminate Empathy

[MrScorpio]

http://www.borowitzreport.com/2011/06/29/republicans-trillions-could-be-cut-from-budget-if-we-eliminate-empathy/


Humanity Also on Chopping Block



WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Speaking on behalf of congressional Republicans, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA) said today that trillions could be cut from the Federal budget if Congress can agree to eliminate empathy.

“The current budget is bursting at the seams with pet projects that reek of empathy,” Rep. Cantor said.  “As a nation, we can no longer afford to spend money on people’s basic survival needs like a bunch of drunken sailors.”

Rep. Cantor noted that “the word ‘empathy’ comes from the Greek word ‘pathos,’ meaning ‘pathetic’ – and that’s exactly what helping people is: pathetic.”

“We Americans should get out of the habit of using Greek words,” he added.  “Look where it’s gotten the Greeks – straight into bankruptcy.”

[Cirque du So-What]

1. Good stuff

A bit too close to the truth here in Sociopath Nation, but funny nonetheless.

[livetohike]

2. I am having trouble distinguishing Borowitz and The Onion from

reality! I could see Cantor saying this.

[orpupilofnature57]

3. K&R !! You mean Apathy

[TBF]

4. Republicans are not apathetic - they show enormous amounts of enthusiasm

for cutting any program that would actually help folks. Instead, the money goes to defense (to protect corporate interests) and to the corporations themselves in the form of massive tax assistance.

"Empathy" in this context was the correct term. IMO, Borowitz is hilarious (and brilliant).

[Kalidurga]

5. Borowitz got the meaning of their intentions right

even if they have not used those exact words.

[Flubadubya]

6. delete

[lib2DaBone]

7. Keep the empathy.. eliminate the Republicans.....

[Vinca]

8. It's hard to distinguish satire from reality.

[CBHagman]

9. I love Andy Borowitz.

"Humanity also on the chopping block."

The perfect response to the 'cans and their claims that "market-based" health care and tax cuts for "job creators" are going to save us all.