What is Congress?

[monmouth]

The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals.

We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish a Gaggle of geese, and a Pride of lions.

However, less widely known is a Murder of crows (as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens), an Exaltation of doves and, presumably because they look so wise, a Parliament of owls.

Now consider a group of Baboons. They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates. And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?

Believe it or not ....... a Congress!

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

1. Mark Twain

"Our Congress . . . In their private life they are true to every obligation of honor; yet in every session they violate them all, and do it without shame. . . . In private life those men would bitterly resent--and justly--any insinuation that it would not be safe to leave unwatched money within their reach; yet you could not wound their feelings by reminding them that every time they vote ten dollars to the pension appropriation, nine of it is stolen money and they the marauders."

"It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress."

"I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring in higher prices than any in the world."

"Senator: Person who makes laws in Washington when not doing time."

"To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature Congressman."

"I believe the Prince of Darkness could start a branch hell in the District of Columbia (if he has not already done it), and carry it on unimpeached by the Congress of the United States, even though the Constitution were bristling with articles forbidding hells in this country. . . . What a rotten, rotten, and unspeakable nasty concern this nest of departments is, with its brainless battalions of Congressional poor-relation-clerks and their book-keeping, pencil-sharpening strumpets."

"No one's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.""Our Congress . . . In their private life they are true to every obligation of honor; yet in every session they violate them all, and do it without shame. . . . In private life those men would bitterly resent--and justly--any insinuation that it would not be safe to leave unwatched money within their reach; yet you could not wound their feelings by reminding them that every time they vote ten dollars to the pension appropriation, nine of it is stolen money and they the marauders."

"It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress."

"I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring in higher prices than any in the world."

"Senator: Person who makes laws in Washington when not doing time."

"To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature Congressman."

"I believe the Prince of Darkness could start a branch hell in the District of Columbia (if he has not already done it), and carry it on unimpeached by the Congress of the United States, even though the Constitution were bristling with articles forbidding hells in this country. . . . What a rotten, rotten, and unspeakable nasty concern this nest of departments is, with its brainless battalions of Congressional poor-relation-clerks and their book-keeping, pencil-sharpening strumpets."

"No one's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session."

[monmouth]

2. Excellent, thanks for posting...nt

[closeupready]

3. For the right price, whatever you want it to be.

:sarcasm:

[Recovered Repug]

4. The opposite of "pro" is "con".

Therefore, the opposite of "progress" is "congress". QED.