Federal Judge Invites Lawyers To 'Kindergarten Party' To Teach Them Not To Waste His Time

[kpete]

Federal Judge Sam Sparks doesn't like it when lawyers waste his time. So last week he invited -- or rather, ordered -- lawyers who he says are "unable to practice law at the level of a first year law student" to a "kindergarten party" to teach them "many exciting and informal lessons."

Sparks, the Texas-based federal judge who ruled against a state law requiring women to undergo a sonogram before getting an abortion, was upset that lawyers for two men and Brigham Oil & Natural Gas, L.P. were asking the court to quash subpoenas issued to them on behalf of James L. Woods. The lawyers maintained that the subpoenas were not properly served, were overly broad and unduly burdensome, and sought privileged information.

In response, Sparks invited them to a "kindergarten party" originally scheduled for today at 10 a.m. Thursday, but subsequently cancelled, where they would have learned how to "telephone and communicate with a lawyer," "enter into reasonable agreements about deposition dates," "limit depositions to reasonable subject matter" and why "it is neither cute nor clever to attempt to quash a subpoena for technical failures of service when notice is reasonably given."

"Please remember to bring a sack lunch!" Sparks wrote. "The United States Marshals have beds available if necessary, so you may wish to bring a toothbrush in case the party runs late."

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/documents/2011/09/sam-sparks-kindergarteners-order.php?page=1
http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/09/federal_judge_invites_lawyers_to_attend_kindergarten_party_to_teach_them_not_to_waste_his_time.php?ref=fpblg

[hobbit709]

1. Here's another classic Judge Sparks decision and comment

http://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?q=Klein-Becker,+LLC+v.+Stanley+A-03-CA-871-SS&hl=en&as_sdt=2,5&as_vis=1&case=1940243551778254161&scilh=0

[valerief]

3. What a hoot! nt

[Kber]

5. I'm not a lawyer, so I'm not 100% sure

but is that as funny as it seems?

Because it seems awfully damned funny!

[gratuitous]

2. Judges HATE discovery disputes

It isn't surprising to see a judge just get fed up with lawyers who haven't learned how to play nice.

[hifiguy]

4. I worked as a law clerk for two state

trial judges. The surest way to raise their blood pressure and get steam coming out of their ears was to engage in petty discovery disputes. Heads occasionally got metaphorically busted for that kind of petty crap. And judges NEVER forget lawyers who pull this shit in front of them.