Marine Corps bans audible farting in Afghanistan

[Dennis Donovan]

http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/310782

Washington - The United States Marine Corps has banned audible farting in Afghanistan because it is culturally offensive to civilians working with the military and members of the Afghan National Army.

The Military Times Marine Corps blog, Battle Rattle recently posted the news that "audible farting has been banned for some Marines downrange because it offends the Afghans."

The ban has caused a stir among former and current members of the military who question the reasoning behind the decision which has ignited a firestorm of comments from readers and fellow bloggers of Battle Rattle.

Military soldiers have already been required to obey regulations ordering them to not curse around members of the Afghan army or the civilians they encounter while on patrol. They are also under orders to not discuss women or politics with people from Afghanistan. But for now, breaking wind could earn them an appearance before their superior officers.
<snip>

:rofl:

[gratuitous]

1. Water boarding is still okay, though?

As long as we have our priorities in order for spreading freedom around the world.

[SammyWinstonJack]

19. ...

:thumbsup:

[Incitatus]

2. But they can still kill indiscriminately, right?

[11 Bravo]

63. Yeah, because that's what our soldiers and marines do, right?

Indiscriminately massacre anything and everything that moves?

God, some people on this site make me want to puke.

[QC]

3. I wish they were half as offended by child sex slavery.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/dancingboys/

[Incitatus]

4. Well, we don't want to piss them off. They produce 90% of the world's heroin. nt

[Morning Dew]

8. This why farting is offensive to them - it's just too damn scary!

Farting is a first indicator that those balloons could slip out.

[itsrobert]

5. Do they prefer the silently but deadly ones?

?

[KansDem]

18. C'mon, get with the program. This is the military!

You don't mean "silent but deadly," you mean SBDs!

[Maine-ah]

23. YSIYDI

pronounced whysighdee.

[coalition_unwilling]

73. My wife says my SBDs are actually WMDs :) - n/t

[Enrique]

6. does it apply to the French troops?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWBUl7oT9sA

[Divernan]

29. Nope. They can still fart in your general direction (Monty Python)

Posted my reply before I looked at your link. Love that film.

[w8liftinglady]

7. all I can say is... have they read this?

http://www.nap.edu/openbook.php?record_id=11765&page=61

[Rex]

9. So 'silent but deadly' is still okay then!?

[bemildred]

10. "Pull my finger." nt

[pinboy3niner]

11. Penalties should be enforced against the mess halls...

...if there is any justice in this world. :)

[hifiguy]

12. Military thinking at its best...

Are the GIs just supposed to hold it until they explode? Apparently no one in Trashcanistan farts then? How dumb are some of these goobers?

:rofl:

[DJ13]

13. banned for some Marines downrange

I'd be more concerned about the farting uprange........

[Brother Buzz]

14. The Marines must have unearthed a cache of Ham and Motherfuckers

I thought they were outlawed decades ago.

[Marrah_G]

15. Only the Marines? What are they feeding those guys?

[louis-t]

16. Soon, it won't be ANY fun being a Marine.

I suppose it's a safety issue. Maybe the farters were setting off land mines.

[pinboy3niner]

17. BREAKING: Marines take strike vote for first time in history

:evilgrin:

[begin_within]

20. The Silent Drill Platoon just let out a big

sigh of relief on hearing the news.

[KansDem]

21. I would imagine lobbyists for the "Refried Beans Advisory Council"...

...are already on this in DC to overturn the ban.

[TheCowsCameHome]

22. No SIR! - It was the man behind me, SIR!

:rofl:

[Alameda]

24. Loud farting is highly offensive to Muslims

and yes, smelly farts are offensive too. However, a loud fart is easily identifiable as to the source. It's tantamount to walking around covered with shit. Muslims are required to take ablution after emitting a loud or audible fart. Therefor if you are trying to work with people walking around covered with shit is counterproductive.

Do you get it now?

[SoCalDem]

26. Of course if we were not :"guests" in their country in the first place

it would be totally fart-free:evilgrin:

Maybe that's how we end the war and bring everyone home.. lots of beans & cabbage:)

[FLAprogressive]

31. Does that only count in public or in private as well?

[Alameda]

32. anyplace, even when alone.

[Obamanaut]

35. Stoning for adultery is acceptable though. nt

[lapislzi]

39. Totally false equivalence.

Nice straw man. You make it yourself?

You know, there are plenty of Americans who don't find farting especially funny outside of a fraternity or "pull my finger, kid" situation.

I think farting in public, or in front of others, demonstrates a general lack of respect for other people's sensibilities.

[Obamanaut]

50. Stoning adulterers offends my cultural sensitivity. On a scale of 1 to 10,

1 being the least offensive - i bet most people would say farting is less offensive.

I think stoning people in public, or in front of others, demonstrates a general lack of other people's sensibilities.

And then there's honor killing. And having little boys as sex slaves. But hey, you don't like farting.

[Matariki]

38. Thanks Alameda. I don't get mocking cultural sensitivity.

although in this culture I guess fart jokes are funny. My nephew liked them when he was five, anyway.

[riderinthestorm]

42. I'd really like to know how the hell you can control the sound or volume of your farts?

Honestly, if you are gassy, there is nothing you can do!! Stress, shitty diet and lack of available toilets (which would all seem to be prevalent for the average soldier in Afghanistan) contribute to being gassy.

Maybe there's a technique people are taught to make sure their gas is silently emitted? If there is, please tell me as I seem to have missed that in health class.

[pipi_k]

69. That's what I would like to know as well!

I have irritable bowel and sometimes I get gas bubbles so painful they double me over. I do make a studious effort not to let them go around other people, but geez...sometimes even running outside or into another room to release these bombs can still produce a loud reverberation.

What can you do...

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

43. In this country, we apologize and move on

Isn't that a lot more sensible?

[msanthrope]

46. Muslims are required to take ablution after emitting a loud or audible fart?

I find that as silly as cultures who segregate menstruating women, or ones that think a woman needs to be ritually 'cleansed' after giving birth.

Silly is silly, regardless of culture.

[TalkingDog]

47. Americans think their excretions are sacrosanct...

humorous AND sacrosanct.

Snot, cum, feces, boogers, drool, earwax, piss, sweat... we are children in adult bodies and for somebody to suggest we respect other people's ideas about excretions is to quash our own "comfort" with our obviously superior way of dealing with things.

But just try suggesting something outside their comfort zone: for instance look at the brouhaha over a young teen girl having consensual sex with a much older man and you will see that they have their own "buttons"



End of the day, you'll have a hard time convincing them this is a serious cultural issue.

[Lucian]

56. Another way on how a normal bodily function is messed up by religion.

:eyes:

[JoePhilly]

25. Don't discharge your weapon in public.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

27. It's the silent beer and kimchee ones that do the damage.

[QC]

28. So much for my plans to hold a boiled egg, sauerkraut, and broccoli banquest for the troops. n/t

[lapislzi]

30. Annoyed by the cultural insensitivity in this thread.

Yes, I have a sense of humor. Yes, farts can be funny sometimes.

But, if you KNOW that farting is offensive to someone, wouldn't you at least make the effort not to do it? Why would you do it, unless it was an accident, in which case you excuse yourself, or a physiological problem of some sort? Unless, of course, you WANTED to offend or antagonize.

Not amused.

[Alameda]

33. a voice of reason in this thread

thank you...but you know, it seems there are more than a few who want to antagonize....and people are dying because of it.

[Amonester]

36. I want them back home before they get hurt.

(My FL relatives have friends there.)

They will do what they want, here.

We love them, and I do that too (sometimes). :)

So who cares?

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

44. I'm offended that women are treated like chattle and forced to wear headresses

Not amused.

[Leopolds Ghost]

74. Then go over and fight for womens rights. Last time I checked US was not doing that n/t

[msanthrope]

48. Sorry, but I'm not required to respect the silly.

I'm not required to respect cultures that segregate menstruating women, or otherwise have a viewpoint that bodily functions are dirty and disgusting.

[tblue37]

34. Ignited a firestorm? They could just say to quit lighting them! nt

[Leopolds Ghost]

75. Defusing a potential inflammatory situation?

Is it combat effective?

[Qutzupalotl]

37. This too shall be passed.

[MineralMan]

40. My Grandfather on Farting:

"Better out than in."

He was a man of few words, but they were all pertinent and funny.

[Major Hogwash]

41. This doesn't smell right to me.

Most of the younger Marines don't have that problem, so this will only affect the officers corps.

[coalition_unwilling]

76. ROTFLMAO - Awesome - n/t.

[Rhiannon12866]

45. WTF?! This is pretty bizarre, but then we are guests in a different culture.

Sounds awfully difficult to enforce, though... :shrug: :D

[KamaAina]

49. I just figured out how to end the war!

Airdrop tons of baked beans and chili to our troops. :evilgrin:

[Rhiannon12866]

51. We need to start including Beano in every care package.

Not the first thing I would have thought of... :shrug:

[Dennis Donovan]

52. hahhaa!

What, and rob them of a very basic form of entertainment? ;-)

[dipsydoodle]

53. So presumably

SBD's remain ok ? :shrug:

[Heywood J]

54. Farting might offend their religion.

But slavery, stoning, violent fanaticism, and opium don't. Right.

Bring everyone home - let them live in their fart-free "paradise".

[Harmony Blue]

62. Thank you for stating it as bluntly as possible

Can't be put any better.

[Bunny]

55. Well, when they quit shooting women whose ankles show from underneath

their burka, then I guess I'll start being sensitive to their fart issues. :eyes:

There's no need to be rude and ignorant regarding your bodily emissions, and in a lot of situations it is pretty inappropriate. But IMO there are alot of things that Afghans do that are far, FAR, more offensive than this.

[Lucian]

57. I'm going to fart really loudly now in protest of this silly rule

[Jamastiene]

58. I'm all for cultural sensitivity and respect

but, dammit, this goes too far. :nuke:





















:rofl:

[underpants]

59. "A fart is just a turd honking for the right of way" -- George Carlin

[msanthrope]

60. Seldom do posts and usernames go so well together.

I keep looking for "Courtesy Flush" on this thread....

[underpants]

61. :hurts:

:hurts:

[madinmaryland]

64. Hey! How's the weather down there?

The edge of the weather is just south of us here in Maryland.

We're between DC and Baltimore, off i-95?

[underpants]

66. Rain and very windy. Eye will be east of us at midnight - very slow moving. JUST got power back

power shut off at noonish even though my friend in Newport News and people on the southside of Richmond never lost power.

We are cooking steaks so we have something to eat if power goes out again (we CAN in-house camp if needed).

[pipi_k]

70. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Thanks for

the laugh.

I've heard a lot of Carlin quotes, but never that one....


:rofl:

[Motown_Johnny]

65. What a bunch of tight asses!

[Stinky The Clown]

67. Ignited a firestorm, huh?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7g7-m1sWUY

You gotta stay with this one a while, but they eventually flame 'em, too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2BDpKG9BpY

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

68. Afghanistan should ban marines. Whether they fart or not.

[thelordofhell]

71. This just in........Marines to be issued Beano in their ration packs

[Leopolds Ghost]

72. The Winds of Change are blowing in Afghanistan n/t

[coalition_unwilling]

77. I smell a sequel to 'Blazing Saddles' in the works :) - n/t