Darrell Issa stole my fucking hot dog

[Recursion]

This isn't a metaphor for social security or anything. The man stole my fucking hot dog today. I managed to finagle an invite to a cookout on the Hill, I get a hot dog, I load it up with kraut and the good mustard with the big chunks of mustard seed, and pile some Old Bay on top of that. I set it down for a God damned second to shake hands with Gonzales of Texas, and then Issa steals. My. Fucking. Hotdog.

I was all "Umm... hi Representative Issa, I think that's my hotdog." He just kind of looked blankly through me and kept eating. Gonzales had already moved on to meet somebody else, so no help from there. He walked off and I got back in line. What a putz.

Edit: "Gonzales" only has one "z"

[mrs_p]

1. good thing he didn't drink your milkshake!

knr

[BeeBee]

31. Best. Reply. Ever.

[Broderick]

36. LMAO

[surrealAmerican]

51. DUzy!

Man, I miss those DUzys.

[Initech]

77. I. Drink. Your. Milkshake!!!!

[sakabatou]

2. Republicans don't care about anyone but themselves

[Name removed]

3. Deleted message

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Taverner]

4. Issa is a putz - he's one of the most evil Californian Republicans

You should have decked him

[October]

6. Agree. I dislike everything about the man.

It bothered me no end when Bill Maher had him on the show and he acted normal (and Maher treated him as such). GAG!!!

Some of these guys must be sociopaths -- Hucklebee, Issa -- those evil types who ACT all normal and nice -- they scare me the most!

[Recursion]

22. And the hair! What the hell is up with his hair?

It's like a giant squid inked itself and was glued to his scalp

[October]

64. LoL! What a description!

I was going to suggest a rug -- but I like your version better!

[cyberpj]

72. If not "decked him" - at least bumped into him smashing the whole thing against his suit. nt

[Tuesday Afternoon]

5. the fucker

:grr:

:rofl:

[Cirque du So-What]

7. Perhaps you should have said...

'Umm... hi Representative Issa, I think that's my hotdog...and I spit on it.'

[Gin]

10. maybe he thought you were part of the wait staff....waiting on him

[DocMac]

8. Did you check your pockets?

[Recursion]

25. Wasn't he arrested for stealing a car or something?

I miss the honest crooks we used to have on the hill

[Armstead]

9. Shit...Your post made me hungry. Now I have to go out and get a bite myself

preferably a hot dog

[butterfly77]

18. Me too...

now I am planning for hotdogs with the works do you think chili on the hotdog will go good with sauerkraut,mustard and onions.

[Recursion]

28. I'm of the "chili OR kraut" school

And I usually reserve the chili for half smokes at Ben's

[Solomon]

41. Ahhh Ben's Chili Bowl.

:thumbsup:

[Name removed]

11. Deleted message

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[proud patriot]

12. What made him think he was ENTITLED to your Hot dog ?

oh yeah , the rich can just take anything they want without penalty here in America.

[formercia]

40. The 'Rich' never wait in line.

Droit du Seigneur

[guruoo]

13. Isshole. nt

[originalpckelly]

14. Glad he didn't steal your stapler though.

[WinkyDink]

15. SHOULDA said: "Umm... hi Representative Issa, I think that's my hotdog. And I have the flu."

[gratuitous]

16. Yeah, right

If it really was your hot dog, then why was it fixed up just the way Issa likes it? Hmmmm?

As Otto said in "A Fish Called Wanda": Apologize.

[blue neen]

17. I nominate this as post of the week. The irony is just too much.

How freaking typical and apropos! You do the work and the Republican steals your food.

While I am sorry that this jackass did this to you, you really made me laugh out loud! :)

[Wait Wut]

19. If he had done that in Chicago...

...they'd be searching the lake for his body, his family would be forced out of the state, and stealing food would be forever known as Issaing.

Probably a crappy hot dog, anyway. Vienna Beef is the only hot dog worth the energy it takes to take a bite.


You shoulda slapped him on the back while he had a big mouthfull, "Hey!! Darrell, old man!!! How ya been?" While he's turning blue, whisper in his ear, "Too much mustard?"

[Recursion]

21. It was Boar's Head all beef natural casing

I think the cookout was sponsored by the National Association of Meat Casing Producers (I kid you not) and all the big vendors had franks and some decent swag. Nathan's had a corn dog stand -- a big weakness of mine. I kept a better eye on my corn dog.

[Wait Wut]

24. That's better than I imagined.

Gotta go with the all natural casing. We can't get Vienna in this craphole we live in, but I've discovered something called Kayem or something. Cheaper than the others and really pretty good for a hot dog. Plus, they're kosher so if the Jews are right, I'm all good.

Sounds like you put too much work into that hot dog to settle for the corn dog. I'd still opt for the lake.

[Recursion]

27. Oh, I got another dog too, but did it Rhode Island style

Pickle spears, banana peppers, and celery salt. There wasn't a lake handy, but if I see him near the tidal basin...

[Broderick]

37. Damn I miss those

[surrealAmerican]

53. If he'd done that in Chicago ...

... he wouldn't have gotten sour kraut. I made the mistake of asking for some on the first hot dog I ordered after moving to this town. I got such a look: the man behind the counter thought I must be insane.

[Wait Wut]

57. Well, duh!

Kraut goes on brats. :eyes:

Damn...now I want bratwurst. I hate Arizona. We have no real food here.

[tblue37]

20. Spread this story around. It is the kind of thing that will really

tick off normal people. Put it on FB and send it to Maddow, Olbermann, and Maher.

[geardaddy]

55. +1000

This is newsworthy.

[laundry_queen]

60. I totally agree.

You may even get a lifetime supply of hot dogs out of it before it is over.
I can't believe he did that. What an ass! who does that?

[blue neen]

23. Please don't park your car next to his. Issa will steal it, too!

:)

[Thegonagle]

26. What makes you think you're entitled the good mustard? KnR

[LeftyMom]

29. You can add that to his rap sheet behind the grand theft auto and arson.

He's a real winner.

[HughBeaumont]

30. IOKIYAR.

It's what this mal culo pendejo has probably done since high school and the life he leads allows him to continue to be a cockbag.

[indurancevile]

32. after he touched it who would want it back? creeper.

[vanlassie]

33. lssa's an ASSHAT

[Bluenorthwest]

34. You should feel lucky he didn't steal your car....

A hot dog is the least of his thefts.
http://crooksandliars.com/susie-madrak/rep-darell-issa-american-role-model-c

[AverageJoe90]

74. This whole thing kinda reminds me of an old Internet meme..........

Remember this, anyone?
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/stole-my-bike#.TjH-LrKF__s

:rofl:

[Broderick]

35. That is hilarious

I am sure the look on both of your faces was priceless.


There is a metaphor in there somewhere too.

[Recursion]

39. FWIW, I think he had asked a staffer to get him a hotdog

And he thought that was it. Still.

[Broderick]

43. Funny as hell though

I would be like WTF man.

That was likely the best damn hotdog you ever created too, on top of it all.

[DRoseDARs]

38. Dude, you need to register that domain name right fucking now! Internet meme gold!

eom

[Buns_of_Fire]

45. Just to cover all the bases, you might want to register "Darrell Issa Ate My Balls," too.

(Or am I showing my age here?)

[DRoseDARs]

63. I know I'd be pissed if Rep. Issa ate my Schwetty balls...

;)

[EC]

42. You could have asked him

how many cook-outs has he been where one could get a hot dog completely dressed in condiments without him doing it himself...you don't just take someone else's dog...but then repubs do just take and not care who they are taking from.


He bought his seat with the Davis recall and really isn't qualified to be there to begin with.

[Papagoose]

44. Easily my favorite DU Post EVER!

Good Lord this made me laugh...and I really, really needed a laugh.

So sorry for your lost hot dog though.

[Buns_of_Fire]

46. "Stealin' another man's hot dog is a hangin' offense in these parts, pardner..."

Get the rope...

[proud patriot]

47. I shared this

[jtown1123]

48. Was that the one in the middle of Rayburn?

[Shagbark Hickory]

49. Why didn't you yell "Get your hands off my wiener!" to him?

[bergie321]

50. Isn't that

A parole violation for him?

[Warren DeMontague]

52. Metaphor or no, that would make a great bumper sticker.

Even better if it comes with no explanation. It means what you think it means, man!

[mitchtv]

54. Excellent candidate for "worst persons"

seriously, send it to Keith

[treestar]

56. Oh, my!

Sort of symbolic, isn't it? Guess he likes his the same way you like yours or figured you were making one for him! Probably has a big ego!

[MessiahRp]

58. Didn't he used to steal cars?

A hot dog must have been the easiest thing he's ever stolen... well minus all that money in Washington he's been able to get his hands on.

http://crooksandliars.com/susie-madrak/rep-darell-issa-american-role-model-c

Rp

[Capitalocracy]

59. Republicans: We cut taxes, spending, AND lines.

Asshole.

[jmowreader]

75. Are you kidding? Please apologize.

The only thing the Republicans cut is the cheese, okay? Republicans spend money like an aircraft carrier full of drunken sailors, they are not averse to raising taxes (just as long as it's not on themselves) and as for cutting into lines...well, it's not really cutting into lines if they send someone else to do it, now is it?

[AverageJoe90]

61. Sorry, but I kinda LOLed at that.

TBH, though, what a jerk. Well, at least it was only a hotdog, though.

[eridani]

62. You expect a joke thread and you get reality. Does that mean--

--that reality is now a joke?

[FourScore]

65. The karmic payback this man owes the Universe is HUGE -- add the hot dog to a long list. n/t

[Joanie Baloney]

66. Ewww - Issa cooties!

My mouth is drooling with all this hot dog talk.

So much so that I actually read your signature line as: All's true that is mustard.

;)

[Recursion]

69. From the swag I got...

... the meat casing and sausage industry employees 7 million people in the US (that seems high, but who knows? Maybe they're counting everyone at any point in the supply chain). So eat some knowing you are keeping Americans employed.

[barbtries]

67. that actually tells you something

about the man's ethics. try to get booked on one of the big cable news shows to tell your story.
have you been having fantasies about not being nice when you noticed he had stolen your hot dog? like loudly shouting, wow i can't believe you just stole my hot dog!!

i can just see that slime looking right through you as he eats your hot dog. he's a bad seed.

[mfcorey1]

68. Off with his head for crimes against the state! nt

[blue neen]

70. We're having a cookout tonight...got the dogs, got the buns and fixings.

You are invited! You can fix any kind of hot dog you like.

Darrell Issa will not be here. We like our car too much!

P.S. Let me know what kind of beer you like.

:toast:

[Contrary1]

71. You should have offered to fix him another one...

complete with the super special secret ingredient.

He deserves nothing less.

[formercia]

73. Everyone line up to give their Special Ingredent.

That Hot Dog will be overflowing with Joy.

[TheManInTheMac]

76. He ate the hot dog you fuck with?

Oh, man, is his face red.

[steve2470]

78. This is the best thread ever in GD ! Have had many good laughs

And Recursion, sorry about your hot dog ! :-(

[slackmaster]

79. This and the "Talking' Chimp Baffles Scientists" thread are among the funniest ever on DU

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=115x783

Recursion, if you ever visit San Diego I'll gladly buy you a hot dog or a steak dinner.

[Recursion]

80. Ha! Thanks. I used to be stationed there

Or at least in Pendleton. If you're up for finding a hot dog in the Gaslamp district I'm all yours.

[Recursion]

81. Ha! Thanks. I used to be stationed there

Or at least in Pendleton. If you're up for finding a hot dog in the Gaslamp district I'm all yours.