How and where to cut the budget - Special Operations

[underpants]

Special Operations have gotten a lot of attention recently what with the Seals popping the Somali pirates from boat to boat and the killing of Bin Laden. But how much does that cost?

Well we don't know. We can't know.

BUT we do know a better way. A much cheaper way to attain the high level of training required for such operations....


























Al Qaeda's magic monkey bars.



They may look like your normal everyday monkey bars that we have here in the US but clearly they aren't. Once a person passes those magic monkey bars they suddenly gain expertise in asymmetrical warfare, explosives, and (of course) they know how to fly an airplane.

Think about the money we could save if we just got some of those magic monkey bars.

Now there is the matter of erecting said monkey bars. The steel will probably come from outside the US only to be painted with the final coat IN the US thus allowing them to be labeled "Made in America" (this is a requirement for union jobs most of the time) but they do have to be set in the ground. That's where an expert concrete operation like say Halliburton comes in. I mean - have you ever heard of Halliburton not being able to do something as simple as pouring concrete??? Granted the cost of digging 3 foot deep holes and filling them with concrete that would be charged by Halliburton would greatly reduce the savings - but - there would be savings.

and that is what we all care about, right? I mean you DO love your country and want to keep you family safe, right?


:sarcasm:

[saras]

1. My dad made us a set of those magic monkey bars when I was a kid

They really do teach you how to fly airplanes - hell, they teach you to fly WITHOUT airplanes. And you can fight off sea monsters, and space aliens, and entire armies, and trained crocodiles, and army ants, and nuclear missiles. We did it all the time. The only problem we had was that, although you suddenly know everything about making and blowing up explosives, you DON'T get any special knowledge of where to get the raw ingredients. The dictionary says bat guano, but the magic monkey bars won't tell you what to do with it.

I think the power wears off them after you use them a few years, though. Maybe Halliburton can make some longer-lasting ones.