50 Things That I'm Not Allowed To Do On DU...

[MrScorpio]

1. I may not accuse other DUers who only drink IPAs of being snobs.

2. I cannot rally other members to perpwalk the mods.

3. I may not walk up to Skinner and ask him how that Subway endorsement deal is working out for him.

4. I am not allowed to request that other members post pictures of themselves taking a shower.

5. May not PM trolls with the phone number to my local GOP congresswoman's office and dare them to call me at that number to tell me what they think of me.

6. May not repeatedly petition the admins to start a porn forum.

7. I am not allowed to schedule a DU meet up of all the vegan members at Joe's Crab Shack.

8. May not hotlink E-Harmony applications to the Computer Help and Support Group with a fake headline about a new Linux update.

9. May not curse out other DUers in Klingon.

10. Do not suggest that Mr. Rogers should run as a primary challenger against the President. Mr. Rogers is dead.

11. I am not allowed to fake Abe Vigoda's death in GD.

12. I am not allowed to post a meta thread in the Bereavement Group.

13. May not post a thread celebrating the anniversary of Anton Levey's Bar Mitzvah anywhere on DU.

14. Do not ask other DUers to tell us what character in FATAL ATTRACTION that they most identify with.

15. I am not allowed to reply to every thread with the words, "He who smell't, it dealt it."

16. Do not refer to all the posters in the Gun Group as "KalashniKitties."

17. Just stay out of the Gun Group in general.

18. Do not set up a Pay Pal account and charge other members a fee for rec-ing their threads.

19. Do not set up a Pay Pal account and charge other members a fee for UNrec-ing other member's threads.

20. "That's not what your mama said" is not a valid argument.

21. I am not allowed to insist that I'm the Unabomber and tell other members that they're going to be sorry for crossing me whenever they piss me off.

22. I am not allowed to suggest that the Gun Group should form their own militia.

23. I am not allowed to feed the trolls Scooby Snacks.

24. May not refer to Skinner as the "Pimpmaster General."

25. I am not authorized to accuse all of DU of being the "Mime Hater Brigade."

26. Pictures of my ass cannot be substituted for the Hug smiley.

27. Mod decisions are final and will not be sent to The Peoples Court on appeal.

28. Do not start any thread with, "In spite of the fact that you're all too stupid to understand this…"

29. I am not the "Ghost of Tombstoned DUers Past."

30. I am not allowed to tell another DUer that their post reminds me of a mental illness symptom that I read about in the DSM-IV.

31. Pictures of dead cats are not funny.

32. I am not allowed to bring a gallon of extra virgin olive oil and the Nekkid Twister game to the next DU meet up.

33. I am not authorized to post pictures of any latex wrapped body part on DU.

34. I am not allowed to ask any other DU member to consider a lobotomy in order to solve their obvious problem.

35. "Talk to the hand" does not render any argument moot.

36. Do not schedule a DU meet up at a cemetery and request that everyone wear a black robe and a Ghost Face Killer mask.

37. Do not use my expertise in farting as a justification for any argument on DU.

38. I cannot claim that my membership on DU authorizes me to drive on the left hand side of the street in America.

39. Do not beg DUers living in Amsterdam to mail me "Samples."

40. I am not allowed to request that other DUers purchase any magic beans that I'm selling.

41. I am not allowed to spam The Lounge with pictures of Spam.

42. I am not allowed to ask any other DUer if they want some cheese with that whine.

43. May not discuss the finer points of puppy juggling in the Pets Group.

44. I may not insist that I'm from the land down under, where women glow and men plunder.

45. I am not authorized to post a picture of me with a sausage stuffed in my underwear as a tribute to Anthony Weiner.

46. Repeatedly saying "Only God can judge me" will not make other DUers like me.

47. Do not congratulate other DUers on the occasion of their car repossession.

48. Do not insist that posting on DU solves the heartbreak of psoriasis.

49. All jokes about dead relatives are best left to the professionals.

50. Do not attempt to bring humor into GD.

[petronius]

1. You may not call them snobs, but you may say that drinking only IPA is snobbery

It's in the rules, plain as day... :shrug:

[corkhead]

2. yes, but we can do it here

[baldguy]

3. That's not funny.

[-..__...]

15. "Forget it, he's rolling".

[inna]

44. pretty funny actually; sorry you don't get it.

[rhett o rick]

48. He gets it. He is just making sure the OP doesnt get busted for breaking rule 50. nm

[sudopod]

4. OP drinks PBR ironically nt

[tkmorris]

20. LOL

[MrScorpio]

84. Actually, I drink liquor whenever I do drink

I can't stand the taste of any kind of beer

[The Magistrate]

5. Not Bad At All, Sir

This place could use a 'Skippy's List'....

http://skippyslist.com/list/

[Kurovski]

32. This one is quite deflating:

40. I do not have super-powers.

[Exultant Democracy]

6. yIntagh?

[JHB]

19. Ha'DIbaH ! petaQ!

[sufrommich]

7. I may not walk up to Skinner and ask him how

that Subway endorsement deal is working out for him.



:rofl: (don't hate me,Skinner, but that was funny).

[jberryhill]

8. Dang... unreccing for Paypal? Why didn't I think of that

If you want the rec Scorpio, you know what to do.

[sufrommich]

9. Hilarious. Bravo. nt

[-..__...]

10. #16...

All is fine by me...it's like a badge of honor.

#17... well, it's probably not a bad idea. Just sayin.

#22... already formed one. My official title is "Herr Generalissimo Kommondanter Kalashnikitty of the 7th Massachusetts Calvary Regiment". But, you can just call me Komrade Kalashnikitty.

[JonLP24]

11. 50!!

:rofl:

Good lost. Loved 46 too. I'm gonna use some of these in the future even though I can't. :evilgrin:

[cbayer]

12. I'll take Absolutely Hilarious for $500, Alex!

:toast:

[liberal N proud]

13. The mere mention of #45 is borderline.

[some guy]

14. I'm pretty sure you're allowed to do # 17

:)

[Electric Monk]

16. 31. b. Zombie cats can, however, be funny

[ImNotTed]

17. No

[struggle4progress]

18. Whoa. There's sure a lotta rules here. Maybe I should just go post in the AOL chats

[Fuzz]

21. I read only #1 but had to comment, I'm REALLy into IPA's atm. Stone IPA to be exact. Call me a snob

if you want. ;)

[Fuddnik]

22. Maybe if we all petition seperately for a porn forum, we can get one.

[Arctic Dave]

23. Oh yeah, that's not what your mom said.

[nadinbrzezinski]

24. Heck what am I gonna do with the scooby snacks I ordered?

DRATS!

[Botany]

25. 51 .....

.... do not mention the Skinner Box

[ThoughtCriminal]

26. Do not post a recipe for Fried Chicken

that includes "Sugar Frosted Flakes" as an ingredient.

[tekisui]

27. I didn't get past #1. I only drink IPA's.

Anything else is drinking piss :wtf:

[Kurovski]

28. K&R

Rulz'z'rulz.

[TygrBright]

29. hmmm... Makes me wonder if I'm allowed to post a question about how you LEARNED all that... n/t

[SidDithers]

30. Very nice...

:thumbsup:

Sid

[donheld]

31. Very good, MrScorpio

[conflictgirl]

33. I'm a full-time paid mod for a different board and I especially liked #2 and 27 :-) nt

[Name removed]

34. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Name removed]

35. Deleted message

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Gemini Cat]

36. #4 is probably not a good idea,

but what if they are pm-ing me pictures of them in the showers with out me asking? That would be ok I'd think.

[MrScorpio]

37. I always knew that DU was great for undercover dating

But I couldn't prove it.

[stevedeshazer]

38. You just blew yourself up. As an INTP I am not sure what to make of it.

:hi:

[MrScorpio]

40. My sense of humor pops out from time to time

It seems that I'm getting love from the trolls.

So it's all good

[stevedeshazer]

46. Cool.

:hi:

[NYC_SKP]

39. 51. You can not create a new account just to come into this thread and disrupt.

Because sooner or later, we're gonna get you.

:hi:

[MrScorpio]

41. Damn Skippy! nt

[badgerpup]

53. Speaking of "Skippy"...

...this list reminded me of the 213 Things Skippy Is No Longer Allowed To Do.

http://skippyslist.com/list/

Read at your own peril...:spray::rofl:

[rhett o rick]

50. I never thought of that. Hmmmm. nm

[Shagbark Hickory]

55. Oh I was under the impress that was encouraged.

If not, I can be a really good informant.

[Kaleva]

42. "31. Pictures of dead cats are not funny." LOL!

[Melissa G]

43. Excellent !

50. Do not attempt to bring humor into GD.
:rofl:


I've been around here since 2004 and I don't even Go into GD... Too scary.

[Electric Monk]

45. Hate to break it to ya, Melissa, but this thread you're in? It's in GD. You are (were) in GD.

General Discussion: Not just for discussing Generals anymore!

[Melissa G]

69. Yeah, But I only get there through Greatest page

I don't actually wander through the fast moving waters of GD on my own hardly ever. Same with GDP. If it does not make Greatest, I usually miss it.

[Pooka Fey]

47. Number 30 nt

[rhett o rick]

49. I confess, I am an IPA snob. nm

[blueamy66]

51. did I miss this? Do not talk smack about the TSA or the airline industry

nt

[taterguy]

52. So now we know what you're not allowed to do. What am I not allowed to do?

Where's my fucking list?

[Shagbark Hickory]

54. LOL. Something tells me you have been warned for all these things?!

[OwnedByFerrets]

56. K and R just for being able to come up with 50

[Ikonoklast]

57. I'm an IPA snob, you can call me on it.

I will absolutely refuse to call anyone here that isn't an IPA snob a clueless swill guzzling Philistine.


Nope, I will not do it.


Oh, and #37 just may work IRL.

[yellerpup]

58. Ahem, in Australia women glow (sweat)

and men chunder. chunder: :puke:

[pinboy3niner]

59. But (so far) you can still poll members on successor catchphrase to "Damn Skippy!"

:evilgrin:

This reviewer's comment:

"I laughed, I cried, I had to look up 'IPA'..."


:rofl:

[H2O Man]

60. Well done!

Recommended.

[Javaman]

61. Nice post, hitler.

Good job! :)

[Deep13]

62. #4 is totally bullshit!

:grr:

[snooper2]

63. You are also not allowed to spam the lounge with crappy music from 40 years ago

:rofl:

[Blue_Tires]

64. hell, I'll take the title of Pimpmaster General....

If no one else is using it...

[Tuesday Afternoon]

65. lol

guilty of a few these myself.

[bongbong]

66. Here's joke based on the OP

Person A: 31.
Person B: 46.
Person A: 12!
Person B: 18?
Person A: 22!
Person B: ROTFLOL

[mwooldri]

67. How can one make porn out of a lobotomy? (Rule # 34) nt

[Vattel]

68. Also

Not allowed to describe opposition to genocide as wanting a pony.

[GeorgeGist]

70. Would you like some cheese with your whine?

Or a lobotomy?

[sufrommich]

72. I think you're confusing whining with humor. nt

[Kurmudgeon]

71. Probably a good call on #4. n/m

[Wait Wut]

73. Great way to start my morning!!

I can't decide which are my favorites!

[octothorpe]

74. 22. I am not allowed to suggest that the Gun Group should form their own militia.

That one cracked me up for some reason. I don't know why either. I don't have any attachment for guns nor am I totally anti-gun...

[gtar100]

75. Other than that, hey! this is a hoppin' place!!

[rbnyc]

76. "I am not allowed to spam The Lounge with pictures of Spam."

I am now tempted to do this.

[Taverner]

77. BTW...I gave up on IPAs because they cost too much

Tequila is soo much more affordable :)

[onehandle]

78. I just had a Sweetwater IPA.

Sweetwater is about the only good thing here in Atlanta.

[rpannier]

79. I am not authorized to post pictures of any latex wrapped body part on DU.

So taht's what happened to my previous 36 posts
I wondered what happened

[awoke_in_2003]

80. "spam The Lounge with pictures of Spam"

I prefer spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans and spam. Oh, and count me in on the mime hater brigade :)

[Stuart G]

81. Ok, let's get to it...nt.

[Liberal_in_LA]

82. locking...

:-)

[guardian]

83. May not curse out other DUers in Klingon.

Qu'vath guy'cha b'aka