Deficit-Wracked Maryland Calls It Quits

[meegbear]

Citing mounting debt and a decline in tourism dollars, the state of Maryland will shut down for good on August 31, Maryland Gov. Robert L. Ehrlich Jr. told reporters Monday.

"I would like to sincerely thank everyone who has ever lived in or visited the great state of Maryland," Ehrlich said at a press conference held on the steps of a boarded-up Capitol Building. "You are the people who have made this such a wonderful place. Maryland will live on in the fond memories of each of you, even as we liquidate the state's assets."

Ratified as the seventh state in 1788, Maryland has been a favorite haunt for a devoted group of fans. In addition to being the home of the Annapolis U.S. Naval Academy, Maryland is the birthplace of such notable Americans as surveyor Benjamin Banneker, singer Billie Holiday, baseball legend Babe Ruth, and former Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall.

In spite of its rich history, Maryland has struggled with mounting debt since the '90s, as tourism and tax revenues failed to keep pace with rising expenses. The state has for years fought what many insiders considered a losing battle.

"We had a good run, but we just can't do it anymore," Ehrlich said. "The bad economy, increased spending on homeland security, and an increasing Medicaid bill were the final nails in Maryland's coffin. We are simply losing too much money to keep the borders open."

Ehrlich promised that Maryland would not shut down operations until the last day of August, giving longtime fans of the Old Line State an opportunity to visit.

<snip>

http://www.theonion.com/articles/deficitwracked-maryland-calls-it-quits,577/

[charlie and algernon]

1. this onion article made no sense till I saw it was from 2003

The Onion tries at least to be up to date and currently Maryland isn't close to being "deficit-wracked." And of course Ehrich has been LOOOOOOONG gone. ;-)

[PoliticAverse]

2. First they closed Delaware, now Maryland - where next?! n/t

[Rebubula]

3. LOLZ

Thanks for the 8 year old article from the Onion...