Poverty sucks and no one is immune from it

[nadine_mn]

Its been awhile since I have climbed up on my soap box, so please be tolerant of my rant.

First, let me get my bona fides out of the way lest someone post that I have no idea what I am talking about.

I have been poor -- ooh nasty poor, homeless and hungry poor as a kid. We once lived in a trailer in a swamp in Louisiana, we didn't have a frig, just a little cooler that we had to walk to the store everyday to fill with ice so I could have milk. This was in the 70's before a lot of social programs that so many take for granted today were in place. When my mom remarried, her husband moved us to Nevada and then left us there... with nothing, no family, no money, no job, no home just a car. My mom made it work for about a year, I was 8 but finally she couldn't do it anymore, sucked up her pride and we moved back to MN.

As a kid, I thought it was an adventure - now as a grown woman I cannot imagine how scary that was for a 28yr old single mom, raised in the middle class to suddenly be alone in the desert.

My mom was (and still is) proud and going on food stamps - those ugly multicolored pieces of play money that advertise to the world (esp in a small town, which is why we drove 30 miles to Duluth when we moved back home to buy groceries) you are on assistance - about killed her. Going to the food shelf and getting groceries stamped with "donated" on it and coming home with a reminder that we were dependent on others to get back on our feet.

I for one am glad that some of the stigma of being on any type of assistance is being removed... EBT cards are great compared to the embarrassment of food stamps (and the cashiers at the store who act like you are scum when you hand it over. No that is not just my imagination, I worked as a cashier at a grocery store when I was older and wanted to smack the crap out of some cashiers who would look down their noses at others who paid with WIC or food stamps).

Of course some people, some even who are here on DU act as if being on welfare means recipients should wear some scarlet letter of shame - their purchases be reviewed (what!? no junk food if you are receiving food stamps!!! How dare you buy cigarettes or alcohol with whatever left over money you have!!! OMG are you wearing a designer label - stone her!!!) and their homes inventoried to make sure they don't have any luxuries.

This pisses me off to no end. Poverty can strike at anytime - losing a job, losing health insurance, divorce, a major illness, natural disaster. All it takes is one major event, or a ripple effect - your car breaks down and you can't afford to get it repaired, you live in an area without reliable or accessible public transportation and can't get to work etc etc. Your child gets sick, your boss makes you choose between your job or staying at home with your sick kid.. these events happen everyday. Bouncing back from this is not easy.

So when you lose your home after losing your job, you take with what possessions you can fit -maybe its nice clothes (the ones you wore to work or could afford to give your kid), an iPod, your TV etc. After depleting whatever savings you have for a new place to rent or staying with family, maybe you need to apply for assistance to help out. Someone sees you with your nice clothes, your cellphone and god forbid an EBT card and immediately judges you as scamming the system.


Scammers exist.. do not get me wrong.. I have met them. No matter what we do, no matter what safeguards we put in, there will always be those who cheat the system. Frankly I admire these people. I have worked in domestic violence centers, worked with women who needed to find a safe home but had no or shitty credit, who had become so defeated they had no idea how to get out of a cycle. The red tape in trying to find ways to get around waiting lists for affordable housing, scraping up money for 1st and last months rent, trying to get a woman out of a temporary situation (the shelter) to a safer one took up so much of our time that we rarely had time to help the women deal with the aftermath of domestic violence - the emotional toll and help that shelters were originally set up for was second to housing. But some of these scammers, these workers of the system, bless them - they taught me ways to help victims and ins and outs of a system designed in theory to help, but in actuality just revictimized people.

I am not one to begrudge anyone whatever small comfort they can find - be it cigarettes, alcohol, junk food, or cable tv.

You don't what happened to the person to get them to where they need to be on welfare. My mom trusted and loved a man who abandoned us - her heart was broken, she was scared out of her mind and alone. When we moved back home, she was already broken down and the shame of moving back in with her parents, daughter in tow was a lot for her to bear. She had already felt punished - for trusting, for loving, for wanting a better life. If she wanted to go out a have a drink, or buy me a gift she maybe couldn't afford, or have a cigarette instead of putting that money towards a down payment on a house - who is anyone to judge. We eventually moved out, she eventually bought a house - maybe it could have been a few months or a year sooner if she didn't take us to get nice clothes, or buy the latest Michael Jackson record (cough - ya I am dating myself a bit), or go out with her friends once and awhile.

But as a child, that return to normalcy - laughter, name brand cereal for breakfast instead of that hideous generic black and white brand crap, my mom smiling, music, and fitting in with other kids in school - well that went a lot further than some of you may think.

I love that so many people say - well save money by going to a thrift store to buy your clothes. Well, here in the Twin Cities you can great deals, barely used clothes, name brands and fashionable stuff at our thrift stores. Try living in a smaller town - you are lucky if there is a thrift store (usually you depend on rummage sales) and there is nothing like the shame of going to school in a town of 3000 people and having some kid point out that the clothes you are wearing were their old cast offs. Thank goodness I was too fat to fit into any of my peer's clothes, witnessing that humiliation with my friends was bad enough.

I am sick of so called progressives who are so willing to judge those who have little to nothing. Direct that misguided self-righteous anger at those who have the power to make a difference and choose not to - they are easy to spot. There are about 535 of them in Washington DC, a few hundred in your state's capital.


I am off my soap box now, flame on if you must

Edited for spelling errors

[midnight]

1. K&R.

[liberal N proud]

2. BIG K&R - Get back up there girl

Incredible life story.

Stay on the soapbox, be a voice for the less fortunate!

[cali]

3. thanks for mounting your soap box

poverty is scary and grueling and grinds you down.

[locahungaria]

4. K & R!!

:kick:

[OneGrassRoot]

5. Huge K&R, with gratitude :) n/t

[MedicalAdmin]

6. Your story, so eloquent and so true for so many needs to be told,

Often and passionately.

Please keep telling it. Dont ever stop.

[DonCoquixote]

7. Amen

Yes, there are scumbags who do scam the system, but frankly, what they take is pennies compared to what the corporations take, plus that spending keeps the economy afloat.

[raccoon]

8. Great post. Rec'd. nt

[demmiblue]

9. Wonderful post... thank you for sharing! n/t

[w8liftinglady]

10. Great post Nadine. Thank you for posting.

[TheKentuckian]

11. Stay up on that soapbox, you do an excellent job.

[ImNotTed]

12. K&R

[Odin2005]

13. THANK YOU, great post!

[Maru Kitteh]

14. K & R, and I just want to say your soap-box ROCKS.

[historylovr]

15. Excellent Post. nt

[ejpoeta]

16. i don't know if your post has anything to do with that person who seemed upset that i had an ipod

while getting WIC, but thank you. It is hard enough as it is when I am not even poor. I have been poor. Maybe not as bad as others, but enough to be on food stamps and cash assistance at one point and it is not a fun place to be for anyone. I don't know why people think it is. And if someone has cable or a cell phone or god forbid an IPOD!! so friggin what! I mean, i could sell it..but I certainly wouldn't get what I paid for it.

I don't understand this desire for poor people to have to have nothing. to suffer. Must they stare at the walls? They can't afford to go anywhere or do anything. We see that they are closing libraries down and public spaces even. I am so sad for the loss of compassion for others. I hear this crap from my own family members. I make sure to let them know they are talking about ME! Somehow when they are talking about 'those people in NYC' it is ok... but when they are facing someone they are making these comments to who they KNOW they backpedal really fast. It's different because it's me. And we pay taxes after all.

Well, we all pay taxes. Even the poor. I would argue the poor pay MORE because they have to buy smaller quantities and thus pay higher prices. They end up having to pay extra for things because they may not be able to have checking accounts. There are other ways they get charged fees that others don't. But it's ok. They deserve to be poor for some reason. I am not sure what happened to us, but I don't like what we have become as a country.

[OneGrassRoot]

17. Thank you for your post....

:hug:

[nadine_mn]

18. I saw that thread after I posted, and it just verified why I am so pissed

This weekend I had a few beers with my family - one of them a hard core Republican. Its so hard, my uncle is so important to me and I have lost so much respect for him and we had a discussion about some of this.

I am just sick of this idea that poor people should be punished and should be shamed because that what it is amounting to and you are right, I don't like where our country is going.

[JuniperLea]

20. I think this is controlled anger...

It was shrouded in skin color for years as we were "taught" to hate brown people and we "learned" to look down our noses... but it was always about being poor. You see, as the 2% slowly absorb more and more of the available wealth, they need us to marginalize a much larger group of people. So now we must "learn" to hate anyone who is poor... without realizing we are all poor.

Two percent of the population have 98% of the available wealth, which generates 30% of the nation's tax revenue. That leaves 98% of us to squabble over 2% of the wealth as we come up with 70% of the tax revenue.

We are like a 100 pound puppies fighting over 2 pieces of kibble.

[Maru Kitteh]

21. Very, very well written JL. +1000

[butterfly77]

53. Give them a few months...

and many of these so called teabaggers or people who think they are above it all will finally wake up like usual when its too late and their precious republiCON party along with some Dems will have finally destroyed the wonderful fantasy of America that they seem to believe they were living in..

[ejpoeta]

28. the problem is that this is not just about the poor. my original reply had to do with the costs

going up and how its getting harder to make ends meet with the same amount to spend. I am not even really 'poor'. yes I get WIC and I am $200 over for food stamps, but seizing on that IPOD as if somehow that is the reason I am 'poor'. I can laugh a bit because our house is paid off. There is no way for this person to know that but that doesn't really matter. I can make this point because I know that if my house is paid off and we have a car payment and some credit card bills and regular bills like everyone else and are struggling, then it's worse for others because they have rent or mortgages too.

We aren't by any means living it up. We live on $42k a year with 3 kids. We feel like we are doing well because we have been worse than we are right now. But I can feel the pinch when I get groceries every two weeks. I make my own laundry soap for crying out loud! I haven't bought jarred spaghetti sauce in at least three years except that one time when I just was so pressed for time. Granted, we are not the norm, but I am a stay at home mom. We make choices just like every one else. We go without some things and prioritize others. The new car we have is the first new car we have ever had. We justified it because Bob just doesn't have the time to climb under it and fix it anymore.

But somehow someone will look at that car and think we shouldn't have it. Like if you worked to earn all these things and something happens you should have to sell everything you had, trade it all in for a uniform with a big P or L on it and go around staring at the floor. Poor people should not be allowed to have anything. Well, I hope they never have to know what it is like to be poor. I've been a lot poorer than I am today.... And I may be poor compared to others. But when you can't afford to leave those walls, it's like a prison. Part of me wishes these folks would have to live it so they could know. Some of them might have lived it and I think their disdain for the poor is worse than those that might not know.

[nadine_mn]

30. Its harder and harder to make ends meet - wages haven't gone

up while costs have gone up.

Its so hard to see that what you budget for certain things (groceries, gas, pet food, etc) buying less and less.

No one should have to justify what they have - that makes me so mad. Being poor is treated like a character flaw and people think they are too good to be poor - that's what I meant when I said no one is immune from it.

It can happen to anyone and instead of judging we should be helping.

I am sorry that person in the other thread made such an ugly comment about you having an iPod as if that should have been seized before you are allowed out.

[ejpoeta]

31. it's ok. it's just hard because i have a hard time doing things for myself in general.

it was hard to do that for myself instead of paying a bill or spending it on the kids. The fact is there will always be a bill. The kids will always need more things. And these people will I guess not understand until they are standing in those shoes being subjected to that themselves. It's unfortunate. Thank you for your comments and understanding. I hear there used to be a time when we were all in it together was the attitude. Wonder where that went. maybe it was just made up.

[lildreamer316]

62. Side question: are you couponing?

It's such a movement now..I know you may not have time, with three kids. You might want to see if you can find a friend or relative who *is* couponing; and see if they can do a bit for you if they have extra time. Give them your grocery list; what you are willing to compromise on brand-wise;what you aren't; etc. We have some posts in the Frugal & Energy Efficient group here; and here is a good start: http://thekrazycouponlady.com/
Every little bit helps. I know. We *were* on food stamps; and in May they cut us off for being $50 a month over. Now we're down a job again, so we're trying to re-qualify;but meantime it is SCRAPING. Whew.

[ejpoeta]

74. i have been trying. it's been impossible to be able to sit down and look through ads.

and trying to figure out coupons vs ads. i know i have a friend who has been doing well and i told her if she had a class i'd go. she seems to have taken to it like duck to water.... she has been struggling financially for awhile and had bariatric surgery back in march and has lost 100 pounds and everything! Me, I seem to be floundering just to keep the house from looking like a tornado hit it. Uggh! I figure if I sit up after everyone goes to bed and try to go through the ads I could figure it out maybe. I need to.

I've been mainly shopping at Aldi's and finishing out at walmart. I'll go to Tops if they have stuff on sale. Each additional store seems to add to the problems with the kids. LOL! But I figure if I could figure it out it would be worth it. I know some who think the time it would take to go through the ads to save the money might not be worth it.... but if you can figure it out and save money it is worth it. Especially with prices going up.

Thanks too btw for suggesting it. As far as compromising... I generally buy store brands of most everything except my coffee. I tend not to buy anything unless it is on sale if it is not a store brand.

[daleanime]

26. I think the problem is...

we've become desperate and scared, those people who revile the poor know how close they are to being so(although no one will ever admit it) and they just can't deal with it. Easier to pretend that there's some 'controllable' factor.:banghead:

[butterfly77]

52. Give it

a little more time and you will see a lot of those who have gone through disasters,many who may have been teabaggers will somehow come to the reality that they are no better than anyone else. Many of the socialist programs they say they don't want or need they will be begging for before it's over with...After all Cantor told them no help..

[chervilant]

35. I don't like what we're becoming

as a species. So many arrogant, narcissistic, mendacious people, quick to denigrate those who speak up or those who struggle with addiction or those who are poor. So many ill-informed people, quick to assert that global climate change is a myth, or that Fukushima isn't that bad, or the oil in the Gulf is mostly gone, or Takae is a lifestyle choice (thank you, George).

We seldom acknowledge the import of overpopulation, but Calhoun's research with rats has proven that when a critical level of overpopulation occurs, the outcome isn't pretty. With rats, abnormal sexual behavior, hyperaggression, eating their young, and increased mortality are a few of the problems that occurred. With humans, well...isn't it past time we acknowledge that our species has passed a critical tipping point?

BTW, I am fighting to avoid homelessness. I have family who ridicule my struggle (and say such things as, 'you'll never be homeless; you can live with us'). Having come up in a toxic family, riddled with addictions, child abuse, and sex abuse, I would rather face living in my car than living with 'family' members who would get a kick out of reminding me every minute of every day what a loser am I, and just why don't I have a job?!

I have friends who've offered to help, but they're in the same boat: no money, no jobs, no safety nets. Making a bed on such a friend's couch will hardly help either of us.

I have some last ditch efforts to make. Having been un- or under-employed for the past three years, I don't hold out much hope.

[ejpoeta]

37. good luck, and i know what that's like. i know my family would let me stay with them

but honestly i think there are people i wouldn't live with if it meant living in my car. i lived in a motel for awhile. I think that stuff with the family you speak of says more about them than it does about you.... insecurities?? I hope you can figure it out. It's tough getting out of that hole that's for sure.

As far as our species.... Some like to think we aren't animals... but we are. the thing that differentiates us from the animals is our ability NOT to procreate. that is one of the most frustrating things. We can control that urge by using birth control and other means. And what good is it going to be if we have poisoned the water supply and made the earth unliveable? I worry for my kids future.

My thoughts are with you. I wish there was some way I could help you. To me the worst part of teetering was feeling like you were on quicksand... uncertainty. Maybe if you and your friends are in the same boat you could join forces somehow.... share the rent? It's a tough situation but maybe it could help for awhile if you could set out rules and boundaries ahead of time. Sometimes families are people we tolerate for the sake of tradition. I hope that you can make it without needing to resort to them.

[FirstLight]

57. +1000!!!

amen! :hug: I have had that thrown at me too...how dare I have internet!?! or a cell phone?!

and yes, when I worked I was a good little prole and paid taxes too, never recieved unemployment, so I have contributed to the 'pot' as well, maybe not as much in the same ways...but yea...
and my family sometimes gets me down too...

thanks for these voices of poverty speaking out!

[999998th word]

71. Thank you for writing this.

[progressoid]

19. k/r

[Tatiana]

22. Outstanding commentary. I completely agree with you.

And I think that's probably because I, too, know what it's like to be poor. It seems to me like the people railing against completely crushing and demoralizing the poor have no empathy whatsoever for situations they can't relate to. I remember the snide comments I received from certain staff at a Head Start that my child attended, simply because I drove a car. I guess they thought I should have been on a bus. Well, I saved the $1200 to pay cash for that old used vehicle; worked one full-time and one part-time job to do so. My first husband pretty much ran out on me due to mental illness, so I was stuck with a baby, a high school education, and not much else to my name.

I shopped at the thrift store, but I also enjoyed splurging and buying new things for my child. She deserved it. She didn't ask to be born into the situation she found herself in. I didn't expect to become a single parent. Sometimes circumstances in life get the best of us. I know what it's like to be hungry; to eat Ramen Noodles for over a week until payday. I know what it's like to have to say a quick prayer before attempting to start your old car in the middle of a tough winter, praying that it turns over so you can make it to work on time.

You don't understand how important a few small comforts can be, if you don't know what poverty is. It can literally be the sliver of enjoyment that gets you up and keeps you putting one foot in front of another to make it for your child(ren) and for yourself.

It's good to know there are still some who have empathy and compassion. Bless you.

[nadine_mn]

24. My mom once said "we can't eat this month but at least we look good"

I was 13 or 14 and we went to the mall (back in the 80's) and got a "free" makeover at the Clinique counter.

We looked FABULOUS... so of course my mom ended up buying about $80 worth of makeup (not much compared to some makeup costs now). She made the comment about not being able to eat as a joke, but also as a reminder that we would have to go without extra luxuries that month.

I didn't care, at that time I was with the most beautiful woman in the world and we looked so glamorous!

It is that little bit of joy that can make a difference. Even 25 yrs later I remember that day as one of the best days of my life

[Lydia Leftcoast]

55. Very true about the small comforts

When I was a proverbial unemployed Ph.D. surviving on temp jobs during the Reagan Recession, I used to take a daily walk, buy a cup of coffee at the "turnaround point," sit and read for a while, and then walk back home. I suppose some right-wingers would criticize me for spending money on coffee every day, but that routine literally kept sane on the days when I wasn't called to a job.

We really have a Victorian attitude toward the poor.

Back in the days when Discovery was a very intelligent channel, it ran a British series called Victorian Values. I vividly recall the episode called "Poverty."

The Victorians, like the present-day right-wingers, believed that people were poor because they were lazy and immoral. Ebenezer Scrooge was actually pretty typical of upper-class and middle-class attitudes in those days.

However, it was unsightly to have people starving to death in the streets, so they set up workhouses for the desperate, as well as for unwed mothers and orphans. The residents were fed a starvation diet (Remember Oliver Twist?) and put to work at deliberately pointless tasks: walking on treadmills or turning cranks that were connected to nothing and accomplished nothing, breaking and stacking piles of rocks that were never used for anything, or picking oakum, which is a tough plant that is good for nothing but cuts the hands of anyone who picks a lot of it.

And guess what? All this punishment didn't prevent people from being poor. All it did was make them turn to crime or prostitution so that they could survive outside the workhouse.

It took the Victorians decades to realize this.

Now it seems that we have to learn this lesson all over again: Poverty is not a crime. Punishing people will not bring them out of poverty.

Duh.

[Tatiana]

75. "Punishing people will not bring them out of poverty."

That's it, exactly. Uplifting people, providing them support and a viable education or training in something productive is what brings people out of poverty.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

23. One of my friends lost her job at 57 and never worked full time again

but she still had the clothes left over from when she was working at managerial jobs. After running through her savings, she applied for and qualified for EBT, but people would give her dirty looks in the grocery store, as if someone using EBT while wearing nice clothes had to be a scammer.

Once while buying groceries, I ended up behind a woman with a toddler and an baby. She and the children were well-groomed and wearing good-quality clothes, and she paid by EBT. However, the cashier knew her, and I learned from the conversation that her husband had left her after the baby was born and he and his lawyer were doing everything they could to weasel out of child support payments. So while she looked like a cheater, she was actually struggling to get by while taking care of two small children and looking for a job.

You never know what someone's "back story" is.

[LuckyLib]

25. Wonderful post. Speaking up about your experience informs those folks who

don't see poverty as anything other than a failure of character and attitude. Send this off to your local paper as an opinion piece -- it is well written and very powerful!

[Viva_La_Revolution]

27. Kick and Rec from another poor kid

I remember being 11 and my stepsister in CA gave me a pair of brand new Gloria Vanderbuilt jeans.

The priceless looks on the faces of the rich girls whose parents had refused their pleas for the same jeans warms my heart to this day. Unfortunately, it also inflamed their spiteful tendencies.

I wore those damn things till they started to look like pedal pushers cause I hit a growth spurt.

[Uncle Joe]

29. Kicked and recommended.

Thanks for sharing, nadine.

[amyrose2712]

32. Thank you. K&R!

[dotymed]

33. Thank you so much.

It really seems incredible that here in a Progressive forum, many are so cruel. I have went from middle class to poverty because of my health. One's dignity shouldn't have to suffer, but it very much does.

[TBF]

34. Best OP I've read in a long time.

You stay up on that box and keep shouting, there are many on this site who need to read it. Take care! TBF

[katsy]

36. k/r.

[laylah]

38. Thank you for sharing,

Nadine! :hug:

I went from upper-middle class to below poverty, due to divorce, which ended in my bankruptcy, throw in a few bad choices on my part, and the fact that ageism is alive and well.

I will be 60 on Friday and every day, as I start working from home doing marketing research, that $38k diploma I earned, with Honors, in Social Work, only 10 years ago, stares me in the face.

No, we do NOT know what others have endured, nor have we walked a mile in their shoes.

Stay on that soapbox!

[Innoma]

39. Great stuff indeed!

Glad I was able to catch this one.

[defendandprotect]

40. kr

[arikara]

41. Poverty can hit anyone

My Mr works for the local food bank, he tells me about the seniors who walk across the city to the food bank because they are out of food, on fixed income and can't afford even the bus fare. (of course he gives them a ride home and makes sure they know to phone...) Or being called to a mansion in the rich part of town because the woman's husband ran off with all the money and she didn't have on bit of food left in the house, couldn't pay the bills and didn't know what to do. Nobody should be judged because they are poor and dress nice.

I give money to the panhandlers, I don't care if they use it to go buy a bottle and smokes if it gives them comfort. People always grumble that they should go get a job, but realistically who will hire them, sick and dirty as they are, and who will help them get out of that state? Cripes, even the Sally Ann is charging them for a meal now, and they had a plea on the local news that the sally needs work boots because there are a few jobs for guys with boots. The Sally with all their donations wouldn't even spring for a few pairs of boots if it gets a guy back to work???

[Lorien]

42. Yes, the wealthiest 1% are immune from it (which is why they don't care) and

as someone who also grew up in the 1970's I must disagree: the were a lot of social programs back then that were better funded then they are now (most notably welfare, which was "reformed" by Clinton and the GOP). Back then people were poor-we got all of our clothes from the salvation army-but they weren't living in cars and tents in small Bushvilles at the back of a Walmart parking lot. Why? Because there WAS a social safety net to prevent that. Ayn Randian heartlessness was NOT socially acceptable in the 1970's. Kids going hungry and living on the streets wasn't acceptable. Families of five didn't live in a van. The "new normal" is a post Reagan phenomenon, and his followers are the ones who brought it to us.

[valerief]

44. + a gazillion

[nadine_mn]

48. I guess at the time, living in Louisiana and then Nevada

in the late 70's from a child's eye, it seemed like there was very little help out there. We had fled from an abusive situation (my dad) and at the time so many told my mom it was her bed now lie in it, and I am pretty sure at the time the domestic violence movement was just getting started, shelters for women and children were not available at the time.

[Lorien]

51. My mom volunteered at a woman's shelter from 1972-77

they took such things very seriously in Ohio-much more so then they do now with the new "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps" blame-the-victim mentality. Things have changed and they are MUCH worse for the poor now then they were then.

[valerief]

43. You can't convince me that either Koch brother isn't immune from it.

Billionaires just aren't. They may become millionaires and may never become trillionaires (their goal) but they'll never know poverty.

[ejpoeta]

59. wouldn't it be nice to see trading places really happen. picture the koch brothers as those two

brothers who bet $1 that they couldn't turn eddie murphy's character into a trader and dan akroyd's character into a criminal. in the end eddie murphy and dan akroyd's characters get one over on them and they end up losing everything. oh to dream.

[tavalon]

45. Flame?

No way. I'm the main breadwinner for my family and if I break a leg, we could be homeless. As is, my ex-husband lost his job two years ago and despite what little help I and some of his other friends give, they are effectively on the street.

The littlel lie that most middle class people tell themselves is that it's a person's character flaws that lead them into poverty rather than one too many pieces of bad luck. Maybe it makes that wolf breathing at the door less scary but it,s an illusion. Since I work nighTs, on my nights off, I stay up all night and listen to the ghosts of fear. I have no delusions, only hope that I can continue on in. My role as main breadwinner.

[tavalon]

46. Flame?

No way. I'm the main breadwinner for my family and if I break a leg, we could be homeless. As is, my ex-husband lost his job two years ago and despite what little help I and some of his other friends give, they are effectively on the street.

The littlel lie that most middle class people tell themselves is that it's a person's character flaws that lead them into poverty rather than one too many pieces of bad luck. Maybe it makes that wolf breathing at the door less scary but it,s an illusion. Since I work nighTs, on my nights off, I stay up all night and listen to the ghosts of fear. I have no delusions, only hope that I can continue on in. My role as main breadwinner.

[Downwinder]

47. Nadine, you are welcome on my soap box any time. Have a video?

[Flying Dream Blues]

49. Thanks for sharing this beautiful post.

I agree with everything you said. I think those who are quick to judge mostly just don't understand; there should be more attempts like yours to help foster understanding on this site. Hugs to you.

:hug:

:hi:

[border_town]

50. How True!!

I was once a middle class woman, in my 40's. Now, I lost my job, and having to move in with my sister, in SC. I can't find a job to make enough money to survive on my own.

[lunatica]

54. A good tongue lashing is always good for the soul

Thanks, it keeps us humble.

[FirstLight]

56. ...and for some the poverty is as normal as we can hope for...

I can't imagine how scary it was for your mom and you as a kid.:hug:
I know i have been struggling off & on for my entire adult life to get 'back on my feet' - back to the upper middle class life i grew up with.(which i think is all but gone now anyways for most)
I have pretty much accepted that fact that it is beyond my grasp, i will never own a home and play it too close to the vest and down to the last dime, which makes holding a bank account nearly impossible. I live from $20 to $20...
and yet, I think in some ways it has made me MORE able to handle disaster and the unreliability of life. I think I am pretty adaptable and resourceful... and we haven't had to hit the food closet in years.


Something you said really resonated, about how little it takes for someone to fall into these circumstances.
"You don't what happened to the person to get them to where they need to be on welfare."
as a single mom at 22, it was always a struggle to choose between school or a job or mothering...then an abusive husband and running for our lives and trying to scrape together my 'selfhood' from the place of being a victim for so long and getting a job...only to have my daughter diagnosed with a birth defect and having to quit the job to pursue medical care for her. ...and then the bottom fell out of the job market in 2008...


despite the lack, we are a happy little family. We have beds to sleep in, a vegie garden in the yard and lots of love & cuddles.
to me, that is priceless.

what sucks is that I am constantly having to jump through the hoops and feeling like a bad person for having these difficulties.
but I just try to keep my nose clean and live my life as best I can. someday things may change...

[Luciferous]

58. K&R

[Booster]

60. K&R. You're right on in everything you say. An old Joan Baez

song just popped into my head: "There, but for fortune, go you and I". I have been blessed all my life and it was mainly because of some really good people who lent me a hand along the way; not so much with money, but with hiring me when I wasn't really qualified for the job and having faith that I could learn the job, which I did. I did get a chance to thank most of them and told them what they did for me - each and every one of them beamed and their chests would swell up. We both felt good. I give what I can to the homeless standing on the corner and I don't give a rat's ass what they do with the money; it's their's to spend as they wish. Good post, Nadine.

[Raine]

61. TERRIFIC post

TOTALLY on point!!!! :applause: :thumbsup:

[leftstreet]

63. K&R

[Pharaoh]

64. Love~

K&R :toast:

[Exultant Democracy]

65. Poverty is even detrimental for people who would consider themselves wealthy, book the Sprit Level

has a lot of data on this.

[dogmoma56]

66. the richest 5% hold 72% of Americas financial wealth10 times the bottom 80%, top 20% holds 93% >Link

the bottom 80% only holds 7% of America's financial wealth. 44% of Americans couldn't get $2000 together if their lives depended on it.

http://sociology.ucsc.edu/whorulesamerica/power/wealth.html

TOO Rich to Regulate.! wealth is proof of gods favor of a man, thus it's a sin to tax/regulate them.
and the poor are being punished by god so it is a sin to help them...

the government is infested with C st, Doug Coe Theocratic Fascists, the Dominionists.. the GOP is Theocratic Cargo Cult of OCD psychotic narcissistic wealth/power hoarders.. they are mentally ill and out of control.

http://doggo.tripod.com/doggchrisdomin.html

[larwdem]

67. amen

I got sick and lost my job, It can happen to anyone!:toast:

:toast:

[pengillian101]

68. Welcome home to northern MN!

Thanks for posting your story. Many folks can relate, I'm sure, including me.

I'm nearby, so write privately if you want and I'll try to help with resources that could be of help :hi:

[JDPriestly]

69. Thanks. Most of us have been there or will be there

at least once or twice in our lives if not for our entire lives. Thanks for saying this so well.

[Starry Messenger]

70. k&r

[StarsInHerHair]

72. pastors live off of the offering plate, they are most clearly dependent on others

applies to big time preachers too, throw that in naysayers' faces

[myrna minx]

73. Excellent essay. n/t