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bluestateguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 09:21 PM
Original message
Apologizing is a sign of weakness
You do nothing to appease your enemies and you only look feeble.

Like Dick Durbin blubbering on the floor of the Senate.
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Angry Dragon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 09:22 PM
Response to Original message
1. I need more background for your statements
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provis99 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 09:22 PM
Response to Original message
2. to a republican, that's true.
"I sorry if you were so lame as to be offended" is the standard republican "apology".
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OneGrassRoot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-26-11 02:26 PM
Response to Reply #2
38. So many here berate any sign of integrity as playing into right-wing hands...
Edited on Thu May-26-11 02:27 PM by OneGrassRoot
(oops, didn't mean to reply to your post but to the OP...sorry) :)


To me, seeing it that way is adhering to THEIR playbook. That plays into right-wing idiocy more than apologizing or doing things right-wingers feel show weakness.

It's weakness in their eyes. Why do we care what they think? Why should we try to play by their rules?

WE NEED TO CREATE OUR OWN and make OUR RULES THE NORM.

TAKE BACK THE NARRATIVE (progressive, liberal, compassion, etc. are GOOD things) rather than react to theirs!


edit
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arbusto_baboso Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-26-11 05:36 PM
Response to Reply #2
42. To an immature a-hole, that's also true.
Oh, wait, you already mentioned Republicans. Never mind.

Decent people apologize when called for, though. It is NOT a sign of weakness. It is a sign of civilization.
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KittyWampus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 09:23 PM
Original message
Right, and typing crap on the internets like you do is tough.
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wtmusic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 09:23 PM
Response to Original message
3. Au contraire, it's a sign of strength
and it ain't about appeasing your enemies.

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Hannah Bell Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 09:27 PM
Response to Reply #3
8. not when it's your enemies demanding the apology on behalf of "the american people".
the hypocritical phonies.
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ProudToBeBlueInRhody Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 11:40 PM
Response to Reply #8
34. And when your enemies are the biggest bigots around
I thought they weren't into being "politically correct"?
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arbusto_baboso Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-26-11 05:38 PM
Response to Reply #34
43. So that's a reason to not do the right thing?
Sorry, but civilized people apologize when it's called for.

I have no problem with fighting the bastards tooth and nail, but there have to be some rules, even if THEY don't follow them. Same principle as the Geneva Accords.
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ProudToBeBlueInRhody Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 11:39 PM
Response to Reply #3
33. Sarah will be doing an end zone dance tomorrow
While still smearing Ed and MSNBC.

Nothing gained.
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Odin2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 09:25 PM
Response to Original message
4. Only emotionally immature people like Republicans believe that.
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AndyTiedye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 09:26 PM
Response to Original message
5. It is Always the Mighty Slime Machine (MSM) that Forces the Dems to Apologize
Compared to the MSM, the Democratic party IS weak.
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Hannah Bell Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 09:26 PM
Response to Original message
6. yes. all the recent spectacles of public apologies being demanded by various entities
on behalf of "the american people" & the penitents being paraded on tv to make their phony "apologies," and then the same creepers second-guessing the apology they demanded ('it wasn't good enough, he should have said x,yz') = horrible degradation ritual.

hypocrites on all sides.
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demmiblue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 09:26 PM
Response to Original message
7. Unless you are wrong... then it is a sign of strength. n/t
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 09:27 PM
Response to Original message
9. it is unfortunate people see it as a weakness. i did, too. raised that way. my 4 yr old taught me
Edited on Wed May-25-11 09:28 PM by seabeyond
the power in it.

pretty sad when a 4 year old kicks ass in enlightment, civility, grace than the mother and i learned my lesson well.

i have found an, i am sorry, to be very effective and right when needed. produces and accomplishes so much more than an appearance of strength of not apologizing which is merely an illusion. when the real strength is having the courage and ability to say a simple, i am sorry.

i couldnt disagree with you more.

it is that thinking that feeds the worst of who we are.

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pintobean Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 09:28 PM
Response to Original message
10. Admitting a mistake is a sign of strength
Stubbornly sticking to stupid is a sign of arrogance and a total lack of self-confidence.
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The Velveteen Ocelot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 09:30 PM
Response to Original message
11. No, it isn't. There are some circumstances where an apology
is absolutely necessary. If you offer an apology under those circumstances - a real apology, not one of those I'm-sorry-if-anyone-was-offended apologies - that's evidence of strength and decency, not weakness. A phony apology offer under duress might show weakness, but a sincere one doesn't.
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pipi_k Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 09:31 PM
Response to Original message
12. Actually, since apologizing is so hard to do...
only the strong do it.

Sincere apologies, I mean.

And what's even better than an apology...changing the behavior that necessitated the apology in the first place.

IOW, it doesn't mean shit if someone keeps doing something shitty, apologizes for it, then goes right back to doing the shitty acts over and over again.
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Safetykitten Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 09:33 PM
Response to Original message
13. Not to us Democrats. We LOVE doing it.
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Hannah Bell Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 09:34 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. looove to grovellll before the powerful slime machineeeeee
Edited on Wed May-25-11 09:35 PM by Hannah Bell
not a sign of weakness to apologize, but a definite sign of weakness when you are the only one who ever *has* to apologize.

and when the apologies are coerced & then delivered obsequiescely.
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Zorra Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 09:37 PM
Response to Original message
15. It can be an act of graciousness, and an act of strength as well. nt
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ZombieHorde Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 10:17 PM
Response to Original message
16. If you get married, or are married now, make exceptions to that rule. nt
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TlalocW Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 10:36 PM
Response to Original message
17. I'm sorry, what?
Damn.

TlalocW
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Forkboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 10:38 PM
Response to Original message
18. Not if you're actually wrong.
Your position is simply too black and white, and while I understand what you're driving at, it's still wrong. If you fuck up (and as we're talking about Ed I'll state that what he said doesn't bother me much but he should have known better to use the term on the air), then you should apologize for it. It's not about the other person/group, it's about the type of person we are. If apologizing when I'm wrong makes me look weak so be it. I'm secure enough in myself to carry the burden of displeasure from such shallow people.
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backscatter712 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 10:38 PM
Response to Original message
19. BINGO!!! All an apology does is set up a ritual humiliation.
Edited on Wed May-25-11 10:41 PM by backscatter712
Never apologize to the enemy!

Apologies are only appropriate to be made to friends, when real honest reconciliation is possible. Do you think reconciliation is possible with the teabaggers? I think not.

The GOP just wants Ed to do the perp walk so they can piss all over him on FOX News. Fuck that shit.
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Viking 1 Donating Member (275 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 10:39 PM
Response to Original message
20. Who is apologizing to whom???
:shrug:
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TorchTheWitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 10:45 PM
Response to Original message
21. The apology is for all the women he degenerated by using a gender biased slur
Why is this so fucking hard to figure out??? There's no question people would get it if he had used a racist slur or a sexual orientation slur or ageist slur, etc. Just why is it that even DEMS still can't understand that gender biased slurs particularly those against women are no more appropriate or acceptable than any other broadbrush group slur???


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emilyg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 11:17 PM
Response to Reply #21
25. Thank you.
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madamesilverspurs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 10:46 PM
Response to Original message
22. That's a swaggering johnwayneism.
It's worthy of W and his minions. It's not worthy of anyone who claims to have even a modicum of character.


-
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Occulus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 11:15 PM
Response to Reply #22
23. And then there's the guy that Cheney shot in the face.
That was an opportunity to unseat a sitting Vice President- one of the most unpopular ever, and instead.... the guy he shot apologized to him, and the incident was forgotten.

You want John Wayne? I just gave it to you. Don't let that happen again. This is your first and last warning. Next time, I'll be a lot less polite about it.

I have a lot of experience with bullies. I 'took the high road', never fought back, and tried to 'ignore it and it'll go away', in the words of my parents. I only got more bullied, more harassed, and more picked on. Had I taken one single, well-timed swing to the jaw, it would have stopped- probably all of it.

Republicans are, at the bottom, a pack of bullies. We should not be working with them, we should not be reaching across the aisle, we should not ever be apologizing to them; we should be trying just as hard as they are to destroy them completely. I guarantee you, apology to them or no, they will continue exactly as they have.

Yet here we are, arguing about whether we should apologize to them when one of us says something mean. What we should have done is engaged in some constructive framing- is she a slut, really? I don't think so, but you can't ever really be sure, can you? I bet the history file from her browser at home has some interesting things in it. But she is a corporate whore, a Wall Street whore, a Bitch for Business. And we should have hammered that home, over and over again until she appeared on camera, tearfully sobbing that we've ruined her career and she just can't appear any more because "we're so mean".

We could have 'claimed the scalp'. Instead we handed one of our own over on a silver tray, along with an engraved invitation to just fuck us all the harder.

I give up. All y'all can go straight to hell in a gilded carriage with purple cushions, trailing clouds of glory and sacred smoke for all of me. The number of people willing to throw this guy to the wolves on this board is just astonishing. With friends like these, we deserve to lose.
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emilyg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 11:15 PM
Response to Original message
24. You are so wrong. It's a sign of strength and
maturity.
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Common Sense Party Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 11:19 PM
Response to Original message
26. Sweep. The. Leg.
No mercy.

Let's go medieval on their asses.

We should be calling MORE of them sluts, whores, racist douchebags, etc.

THAT'S how you win hearts, minds, and elections.
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Occulus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 11:23 PM
Response to Reply #26
27. Or we could just respond to the bullies the way they should be responded to
and taking the high road just doesn't work when bullies are involved.

But then, you knew that. I see the game you're playing, I'm copying this response, and every time you post that little pap smear of a comment, I'll be there to paste in this one.

You're going over the top and you know it. I'm shutting you down.

STOP. NOW.
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Common Sense Party Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 11:38 PM
Response to Reply #27
32. You're shutting me down? Oooo, how manly. How authoritative.
Color me impressed.

You don't get to tell me what to stop, nor when.
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Prometheus Bound Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 11:23 PM
Response to Original message
28. Depends how it's done, I guess.
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Swede Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 11:23 PM
Response to Original message
29. It takes a big man to admit he's wrong.
You can do it.
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nolabear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 11:25 PM
Response to Original message
30. No, bootlicking is a sign of weakness. A sincere apology is a sign of strength.
Never apologize if you don't think you're wrong. If you do, then own it, ask forgiveness and don't do it again. It does everyone good.
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LoZoccolo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-25-11 11:27 PM
Response to Original message
31. Did Bush's refusal to admit mistakes help or hurt his credibility with you? n/t
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DirkGently Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-26-11 02:17 PM
Response to Original message
35. Apologizing is what adults do when they're wrong. Rightwingers confuse it with weakness.
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Aerows Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-26-11 02:19 PM
Response to Original message
36. I'm familiar with doing it when I'm wrong
And it's never out of fashion to acknowledge that you aren't the center of the Universe, and the sole judge of "right" and "wrong".

I'm scared of people that can't apologize.
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bemildred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-26-11 02:19 PM
Response to Original message
37. Apologizing is a sign of strength, belligerence is a sign of weakness. nt
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LanternWaste Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-26-11 02:29 PM
Response to Original message
39. Well it's only obvious we predicate our actions and ethical behavioral on what the GOP does...
Well it's only obvious we predicate our actions and ethical behavioral on what the GOP does...

Saying otherwise would simply imply that other options exist, regardless of whether we know them or use them, and we certainly couldn't allow that.
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tkmorris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-26-11 02:55 PM
Response to Original message
40. I really hope you don't teach your children that philosophy
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TheKentuckian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-26-11 05:34 PM
Response to Original message
41. Correction. Apologizing to TeaPubliKlans is seen by the TeaPubliKlans as a sign of weakness.
That is indisputable.

Further, TeaPubliKlans see all apologies as a sign of weakness. Yup, even the ones they require to Rush but since he is viewed by the Dark Agers as Alpha being weak before him is ok.

In general terms you are way off base but when dealing with these villains it should be abundantly clear that it is counter-productive and plausibly dangerous to cede even a millimeter, ever on any damn thing under the sun.
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cali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-26-11 05:40 PM
Response to Original message
44. No, it's not. Apologizing when you have nothing to apologize for may be a weakness
but when you have wronged someone, an apology is a strength not a weakness.
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