I overheard an interesting conversation at work yesterday:

[Brigid]

I was working on the line yesterday, and there was a woman of about 60 working next to me. I told her I was planning to move to Indianapolis soon. She said she is originally from there; she and her husband moved here several years ago. She said she wants to move back there, but he doesn't want to. I was talking excitedly about the things I used to do when lived there before. She said she envied me.
A few minutes later, as I was restocking the line, I heard her talking to another are another woman. Both are apparently not one I was talking to their marriages, and the one I was talking to first said that she ws basically just waiting for her husband to "croak." The other one said she felt the same way.

Makes he wonder how many other people feel trapped, or are living stunted lives in areas of limited opportunity like this one. I hope I never give up like so many seem to have done around here.

[lunatica]

1. feeling trapped in a marriage isn't uncommon

After my divorce I was much happier and I have no plans to ever marry again. Marriage isn't for everyone. And I've seen happy couples who thrive together. It's just that everyone is different and it's good to accept which kind of person you are.

[blondeatlast]

6. Now that the shock wore off, recently, after 2 long years, I realize

I'm happier now. I had no idea how much control over me I let him have.

I'd like to find someone to share good times and a little intimacy with--but no more marriage for me.

[left is right]

17. I describe myself as “happily divorced"

You are right that marriage isn’t for everyone

[aquart]

2. Lotta cheerful widows in this world.

[Brigid]

4. I feel liberated in leaving this town.

I feel like I'm divorcing a boring and cantankerous husband who never loved me anyway.

[Indianademocrat91]

18. I hope for your sake, you aren't moving to north of Indy

That's where I'm at and there isn't a Democrat in 50 miles of this place

[Whisp]

16. my aunts were the happiest after their husbands died.

at least 5 of them - they were like different people. Happy, joking. Meanwhile when married they were all like Edith bunkers, jumping when the boss said jump. I kid you not. The men weren't evil or anything, just thought they were king of the castle and their wives were their servants that should not have thier own opinions. How awful.

[Xipe Totec]

3. Count me among the living dead

Except that I recently decided to make a clean break.

Because of the length of our marriage, and the fact that she never worked, I will be required to pay her one third of my salary as alimony for the rest of our natural lives (one third to Uncle Sam. one third to her, I get to keep one third).

Still, that is far better than staying in an untenable situation.

I am happier now than I have been in over 30 years.

[no_hypocrisy]

5. + 1

[Angry Dragon]

8. Alimony is a tax deduction ............

[Xipe Totec]

11. Yes, but.

If she keeps the house, she gets those deductions and you don't. So six-of-one, half-a-dozen of the other.

:hi:

[applegrove]

7. I always knew I didn't want to be married. Even when times got really, really tough I never really

thought about changing one set of problems for another. I'm much happier alone. But yes, I've seen lots of happy couples and admire that. It just isn't me.

[Motown_Johnny]

9. Crisscross

[Very_Boring_Name]

10. Was this her by any chance?

[Horse with no Name]

12. I had a patient tell me one time

when I did Home Health that she spent her whole life working and raising a family--and she and her husband had planned on traveling when they got older and the kids were gone. He got sick and she spent half her time taking care of him and the other half wishing he would die. When he finally died many years later, she was sick and couldn't travel.

The moral of this story is don't ever marry anyone you don't want to spend your life taking care of of they get sick.

[EC]

13. I finally felt free after my husband died.

Will never do it again. I'm better off by myself, doing better financially and socially without him.

[southernyankeebelle]

14. Sometimes you got to do what you have to do. I must say I have been married 31 yrs. I

honestly say I married my best friend. We had a couple of times where he thought he wanted to leave. We talked and talked about it. He said he loved me but I think it was of pressures of life. I gave him some room and we talk again and again then realized that he didn't want a divorce and he really didn't know why he felt that way in the first place. Everyone goes through these things and don't let anyone tell you different. I asked him today if he felt trapped in our marriage. He laughed and said never. I don't know what my life would be without you. I feel the same way about him. I am so very, very lucky.

[aquart]

19. Alan Alda once described the process of marriage

As constantly falling in and out of love with the same person.

[Egnever]

15. Thats a shame that she feels that way.

Been with my wife 16 years now. Its not always peaches and cream to be sure but I cant imagine anyone I would rather hang out with. Maybe that will change some day, at the moment I doubt it. Maybe she is just waiting for me to die though.