Today's the day. I haven't been raptured yet, I'm waiting. And I'm getting pissed.

[Cyrano]

Yeah, I know, it's not even noon yet. Nonetheless, if today is rapture day, you'd think it would already be underway. After all, I doubt if a rapture can be pulled off in just one afternoon.

Well, I guess I'll have to be patient. How about the rest of you? Anyone seen any rapture signs yet?

[tridim]

1. Does gravity shut off for everyone or just the nutbags?

I need to know if I should tether myself to something, because I don't want to go to fundie heaven.

[Capitalocracy]

2. I'm staying indoors

If the gravity turns off, I'll dust the ceiling while I'm up there.

[tridim]

5. Great idea. Change the light bulbs and switch the ceiling fan direction too.

Those vaulted ceilings are tricky.

[Capitalocracy]

15. Oh, that reminds me, I'd better turn the ceiling fan off.

I would've been cut to ribbons!

[Cyrano]

3. Tie your foot to the kitchen sink. The Big Rapturer in the sky probably

would leave that behind, and you with it.

[yellowcanine]

6. Wouldn't work. If you can be raptured right out of your clothes no dinky little rope is going to

hold you. OTOH if you really don't want to be raptured you probably won't be - but fundies differ on that point so a definitive answer can't be given until after R-Day.

[KansDem]

4. Try a game or two of solitaire while you're waiting.

It should help calm the nerves.

Maybe a cigarette or two, I mean, who's going to worry about cancer?

[louis-t]

7. I'm not paying my house payment until I know for sure.

:dilemma:

[Demoiselle]

8. The prediction was clarified yesterday...

The rolling earthquakes were supposed to start last night at 11 PM GMT -- or maybe it was EST --which is actually 6 PM in Samoa. Or something.
Anyway, it isn't quite the conflagration we'd been banking on.

[pinboy3niner]

9. Keep your shirt on, they're coming

Since when was punctuality one of the characteristics you think of when you think, "raptor"? You think raptors wear wristwatches? Sheesh!

[liberal N proud]

10. It all happens at 6:00 PM locally - wherever you are

[treestar]

11. It's six PM in Central Africa right now

It's 6:30 in France. Au revoir Frenchies!

[Uben]

12. HAve you ridded yourself of worldly belongings?

Tisk, tisk! Now you know you have to give those things up BEFORE you can be raptured. There is the possibility you will not be taken if you do not. ACT now !!

[lapislzi]

13. My Rapture Detector app has been strangely silent all day

I may have to apply for that triple-money-back guarantee

[vanlassie]

14. Patience, Grasshopper.