Obi-Wan Kenobi Is Dead, Vader Says

[kpete]

CORUSCANT — Obi-Wan Kenobi, the mastermind of some of the most devastating attacks on the Galactic Empire and the most hunted man in the galaxy, was killed in a firefight with Imperial forces near Alderaan, Darth Vader announced on Sunday.

Obi-Wan Kenobi Killed by Imperial Forces near Alderaan

Op-Ed Columnist: Stormtrooper TK-421 responds to the death of Kenobi



In a late-night appearance in the East Room of the Imperial Palace, Lord Vader declared that “justice has been done” as he disclosed that agents of the Imperial Army and stormtroopers of the 501st Legion had finally cornered Kenobi, one of the leaders of the Jedi rebellion, who had eluded the Empire for nearly two decades. Imperial officials said Kenobi resisted and was cut down by Lord Vader's own lightsaber. He was later dumped out of an airlock.

The news touched off an extraordinary outpouring of emotion as crowds gathered in the Senate District and outside the Imperial Palace, waving imperial flags, cheering, shouting, laughing and chanting, “Hail to the Emperor! Hail Lord Vader!” In the alien protection zone, crowds sang “The Ten Thousand Year Empire.” Throughout the Sah'c district, airspeeder drivers honked horns deep into the night.

“For over two decades, Kenobi has been the Jedi rebellion’s leader and symbol,” the Lord of the Sith said in a statement broadcast across the galaxy via HoloNet. “The death of Kenobi marks the most significant achievement to date in our empire’s effort to defeat the rebel alliance. But his death does not mark the end of our effort. There’s no doubt that the rebellion will continue to pursue attacks against us. We must and we will remain vigilant at home and abroad.”

Obi-Wan Kenobi ’s demise is a defining moment in the stormtrooper-led fight against terrorism, a symbolic stroke affirming the relentlessness of the pursuit of those who turned against the Empire at the end of the Clone Wars. What remains to be seen, however, is whether it galvanizes Kenobi’s followers by turning him into a martyr or serves as a turning of the page in the war against the Rebel Alliance and gives further impetus to Emperor Palpatine to step up Stormtrooper recruitment.

MORE:
http://www.pop.is/2kt2i

[Pholus]

1. Funny. Remember when the "serious" Weekly Standard did this article FOR REAL?

http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/001/248ipzbt.asp

Ohhhhh the stupid. It burns!!!! :)

[MineralMan]

2. Congratulations! You are the fifth person to post this.

:applause:

[peace4ever]

3. must be popular

thanks for sharing :toast:

[MineralMan]

4. You're welcome.

But most what be pretty popular?

Edit: Thanks for fixing your title. Really.

[Skidmore]

5. So the President is a big black storm trooper? And OBL was a Jedi

knight? And you think this RW crap is funny?

[MineralMan]

6. Yup. It's a failed parody.

And yet, many seem to think it's apt, so they keep posting it, believing that it is evidence against President Obama in some way.

Comparing Osama bin Laden with Obi-wan Kenobi is an interesting thing. It fails on many levels, of course, but that doesn't matter to some.

And President Obama linked to Darth Vader?

Truly right wingery, for sure.

[RZM]

7. Pretty lame n/t

[NavyDem]

8. Too bad

the writer got movies confused when constructing this. Obi-Wan was not ejected out of an airlock. That was Luke Skywalker. The two events aren't even in the same movie. But I get it. Obama is the worst kind of evil, and Bin Laden was only trying to remove the tyranical opression of the evil empire.

Obi-Wan death video released: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjCyZ2P9bCA