Poll: Given Choice Between Palin and Trump, Most Voters Choose Suicide

[discocrisco01]

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – A new survey of likely voters indicates that in a hypothetical match-up between former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin and billionaire Donald Trump, a majority would choose suicide over either candidate.

The poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, shows Mr. Trump drawing 21%, Gov. Palin 18%, and various forms of suicide 61%.

“Throwing yourself in front of a speeding city bus” was the most popular means of suicide at 22%, with “jumping off the roof of a really tall building or bridge” coming in second at 17%.

According to pollster Davis Logsdon, the surging popularity of suicide bodes ill for both Gov. Palin and Mr. Trump as potential presidential candidates in 2012.

Read more at http://www.borowitzreport.com/2011/05/06/poll-given-choice-between-palin-and-trump-most-voters-choose-suicide/

[KT2000]

1. No kidding!

:rofl:

[Melissa G]

2. ROFL!!!

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[FailureToCommunicate]

3. Just watching Trump, or listening to Palin FEELS suicidal!

Glad I'm not voting in the Republican primary.

[aj_cd]

4. Oh, Shit!

I thank you for the laugh, my monitor is, however, not too happy about the coffee I spit all over it. LOL

[ZombieHorde]

5. Welcome to DU aj_cd!

[aj_cd]

6. Thank you,

I am having fun and learning. 2 of my top fav things.

[Spinny Liberal]

7. Ahahaha

Yeah given those options, suicide would win.