Osama bin Laden saves America, By Mark Morford

[madokie]

I'm hereby delighted to report that many on the hard right, that fantastically insane cluster of hyperclenched beerchuggers who fully believe that Obama is a not only a Muslim, but also a Nazi commie socialist Mexican immigrant robot with lasers for eyes and molten pacifism for blood, do not actually believe Osama bin Laden is dead.

It's actually a dastardly CIA conspiracy, is what it is. Or if he is dead, well, lame ol' President Obama certainly had nothing to do with it, and it's all probably some giant PR stunt anyway, and that highly suspicious "burial at sea" was far too courteous given how everyone knows OBL's body should have been ripped apart by ravenous tigers in the middle of a NASCAR racetrack before the star-spangled eyes of tearful Wonderbread schoolchildren, etcetera and ad nauseam.

In short, we can rest in our reassurance that the more insane and mistrustful of our country are just as ridiculously askew as ever. Hell, we've got the hugely tasteless T-shirts to prove it.

As for everyone else, well, electric possibility reigns. You may right now be noticing that a rather delightful hush has fallen over the GOP, a reluctant reverence, a simple understanding that even the slightest peep in the direction of decrying Obama, or trying to shift the focus back to their whimpering agendas -- that, say, gas prices are somehow more important than the destruction of the global symbol of evil in the world -- any such puling would be horrifically immature, trifling in the extreme, politically fatal. ...


(Full URL: http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2011/05/04/notes050411.DTL&nl=fix)