Thank Gawd Almighty, President Mitt is going to "sit down"

[Cronus Protagonist]

The first thing he's going to do as president is to "sit down". Well, lawdy lawdy lawdy, ain't that a swell Jungian projection? His main focus is on sitting down and chatting when the campaign is over.

I think the tired old man needs a rest. He ought to go to bed and sleep it off - in the missionary position, I suppose....

[No Elephants]

1. The missionary position is for sex, not rest. And sex is only for procreation.

Though, to be candid, I am not sure that "sex is only for procreation" is a Mormon doctrine.

For that matter, I don't recall seeing it in the Bible, either.

To the contrary, even the sexually odd Apostle Paul said that it was better to marry than to burn. He could have said that it is better to marry than to burn for child rearing or something to that effect, but he did not say that.

It must be some sicko's interpretation of Onan spilling his seed on the ground rather than risk impregnating his brother's widow because any child she bore would not be his heir. (In Jewish tradition, a surviving brother was supposed to impregnate the widow. Suposedly that was to give the dead brother an heir, but I imagine widows back then were grateful for a child to help them out, especially a male child.)

That story is also relied upon to forbid masturbation.

Sooo many other ways to interpret that story.

Like maybe if Onan wasn't going to at least try to give the widow a child, he should have told her that up front (so to speak), rather than deceiving her about his intention? Or betraying his religious duty to his dead brother? Or just all around selfishness?

Sometimes, I find it hard to imagine how messed up the people were who came up with these "no masturbation" and "no sex except for procreation" interpretations.