"Turns out that the deductible on my insurance is one goat and one bull"

[ProSense]

Urgent assistance needed regarding my current medical crisis.

by JeffLieber

I'm sorry to bother you all, but I'm in dire straits.

See, I'm sitting in my doctors office, attempting to deal with an ear infection and severe swelling on my left side, but I've just found out that my physician will not take the 3 chickens I've brought for payment!

Turns out that the deductible on my insurance is one goat and one bull (or pregnant cow of equal or greater weight) and being a farmer of ONLY small birds I find myself DESPERATE.

I TRIED to deal with the payment issue by packing up 15 chickens and taking them to my friend Dave (he used to be a lawyer, but had to give it up in order to start HIS farm) as a trade for the aforementioned pregnant cow, but by the time I got back to my general practitioner's office, Matilda (VERY cute, sad eyes) went into labor and NOW I'm just wondering if there's anyone reading this who might be a veterinarian that can help me deliver the calf so that I can get medical care?

(And not to worry, I do have an extra couple "roasting kittens" to pay for the Vet services.)

Furthermore...

...it turns out that the orthopedist who can repair my wife's broken leg WILL take chickens, but the cost is 600 and I simply don't have the room here in Venice to farm that many live birds.

So, I was wondering if I could give the live crocodile, which I got as change from the orthodontist when my daughter got her braces, and the live raccoon family, which I was planning to use as payment for my son's foot fungus issues, to ANYONE who had a coop large enough to house the 600 chickens.

more

:rofl:

[monmouth]

1. Well I'm in Florida, the croc will work with my doctor, I'm shure..OR

I can run him out to Okeechobee for a roast. They have some kind of doctors out there I'm sure...LOL. Great post,thanks.

[KT2000]

2. Good one!!

Hope this goes national!

[NYC_SKP]

3. I can help deliver that calf. For free.

Simply send round trip business class tickets SFO to Rome, first class if US carrier, or any seat on Swiss Air.

Have a driver pick me up, have a boat waiting with a pilot, and a suite at the Hotel Excelsior, or the Ritz.

And meals.

And a Venice souvenir spoon for my spoon collection.

OK, I'm kidding about the spoon.

The rest is series.

:P