God Hates Shrimp and Gay People .... but he/she/it really hates shrimp!

[Better Believe It]

God Hates Shrimp

Shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels, all these are an abomination before the Lord, just as gays are an abomination. Why stop at protesting gay marriage? Bring all of God's law unto the heathens and the sodomites. We call upon all Christians to join the crusade against Long John Silver's and Red Lobster. Yea, even Popeye's shall be cleansed. The name of Bubba shall be anathema. We must stop the unbelievers from destroying the sanctity of our restaurants.

Leviticus 11:9-12 says:
9 These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.
10 And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
11 They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.
12 Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.

Deuteronomy 14:9-10 says:
9 These ye shall eat of all that are in the waters: all that have fins and scales shall ye eat:
10 And whatsoever hath not fins and scales ye may not eat; it is unclean unto you.

Here are some photos of brave, God-fearing souls who have made their voices heard in protest of the abomination that is shrimp-eating. They are often obliged to infiltrate or counter-protest the more "mainstream" protests of hypocritical shrimp-eaters who call themselves Christians.

















http://www.godhatesshrimp.com/

I'm not so sure God wants us to sell our children. So maybe someone can find Gods word on this in the Bible before I run an ad on e-bay. And I hope God says how much I should charge for them. Should the fee be based up age, sex or race?

As a good Catholic I still only eat fish on "Fish and Chips" Friday. So guess I can't have shell fish and chips anymore. I'll just have to order chips and chips.

[nadinbrzezinski]

1. Yes it is in leviticus

If you have debts you can sell your daughter into slavery.

[Better Believe It]

2. But what if I have a Gay son. Would that be worth much on e-bay?

[nadinbrzezinski]

3. Nah that one bring the stones

For the record pedastry was a common practice so experts, no, not the usual suspects, believe it referred to being a sin if a boy from a lowervcastevwas forced by a man of a higher caste. Biblical scholars, as you can tell, have a slightly different interpretation.

[iverglas]

4. wow, at last!

God and I agree on something!

Just remember, please: God says you may not own Canadians.

http://www.humanistsofutah.org/2002/WhyCantIOwnACanadian_10-02.html

[Liquorice]

5. There actually is some logic behind not eating shellfish. Shellfish are scavengers,

and therefore not the healthiest thing to eat.

[Poboy]

6. Bullshit. I'll stack the nutritional content in shrimp against anything you got-

They're delicious too...


Shrimp
While shrimp may be small, they are huge in their appeal as these deliciously clean and crisp tasting crustaceans can be served hot or cold and are the most popular seafood in the United States, next to canned tuna. Fortunately, we able to enjoy fresh and frozen shrimp throughout the year.

Unlike their close relative, lobsters and crayfish, shrimp are swimmers rather than crawlers. They use the swimmerets on their abdomens to swim forward and their tail to move backward. A wonderfully nutritious alternative to meat proteins, the firm, translucent, flesh of raw shrimp is low in calories and saturated fat.
http://www.whfoods.com/foodchart.php?id=107

This chart graphically details the %DV that a serving of Shrimp provides for each of the nutrients of which it is a good, very good, or excellent source according to our Food Rating System. Additional information about the amount of these nutrients provided by Shrimp can be found in the Food Rating System Chart. A link that takes you to the In-Depth Nutritional Profile for Shrimp, featuring information over 80 nutrients, can be found under the Food Rating System Chart.


Health Benefits
Shrimp are anything but small in their nutrient density. Our food ranking system qualified shrimp as an excellent source of selenium and unusually low-fat, low-calorie protein--a four ounce serving of shrimp supplies 23.7 grams of protein (that's 47.4% of the daily value for protein) for a mere 112 calories and less than a gram of fat. Shrimp also emerged as a very good source of vitamin D and vitamin B12.

Shrimp Provide Large Cardiovascular Benefits

Many people are confused about the fat and cholesterol content of shrimp. Shrimp is very low in total fat, yet it has a high cholesterol content (about 200 milligrams in 3.5 ounces, or 12 large boiled shrimp). Some people have avoided eating shrimp precisely because of its high cholesterol content. However, based on research involving shrimp and blood cholesterol levels, avoidance of shrimp for this reason does not seem justified.

In a peer-reviewed scientific study, researchers looked at the effect of two diets, one which contained shrimp and the other eggs, on the cholesterol levels of people with normal lipid levels. In this randomized crossover trial, people ate either 300 grams of shrimp per day or two large eggs. (A randomized crossover trial is one in which groups cross over, trying out both possible protocols.) The shrimp diet did raise LDL levels (bad cholesterol) by 7%, but also raised HDL levels (good cholesterol) by 12%. In contrast, the egg diet raised LDL levels by 10% and HDL by 7%. The results then showed that the shrimp diet produced significantly lower ratios of total to HDL ("good") cholesterol and lower ratios of LDL ("bad" cholesterol) to HDL cholesterol than the egg diet. In addition, in people who ate the shrimp diet, levels of triglycerides (a form in which fat is carried in the blood) decreased 13%.

In just a four-ounce serving of shrimp, you'll receive 28.2% of the daily value for vitamin B12. Vitamin B12 is one of the nutrients needed to keep levels of homocysteine, a molecule that can directly damage blood vessel walls and is considered a significant risk factor for cardiovascular disease, low. In addition, shrimp are also a good source of cardio-protective omega-3 fatty acids, noted for their anti-inflammatory effects and ability to prevent the formation of blood clots. Four ounces of shrimp provide 14.8% of your daily need for these protective fats.



FULL-
http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=107

[Liquorice]

7. Shrimp are scavengers. That doesn't mean they don't have nutritional benefits, but

there are dangers in eating scavengers because they eat dead things.

[AsahinaKimi]

8. I am not Christian and I have no such restrictions.. (hey that rhymes!)

So its nice to know there will be plenty more for me to eat..
and yeah, thats just gotta be SWEET!

[Better Believe It]

9. What about whale? Can I eat whale meat under God's rules?

Cow is OK. That is .... holy cow!

[dimbear]

11. No. No whale. It is in the sea with no scales. OTOH, per the Book

of Jonah, the whale is allowed to eat you.

[hughee99]

12. Does it need both fins and scales or just one and/or the other?

and what about calamari?

[Touchdown]

10. If God hates gays so much, why does want our foreskins so bad?

Is he making a necklace up there? :hide:

[Better Believe It]

13. Good point! Are foreskins mentioned by God in the Bible?

[Kurovski]

14. Foreskins are also delicious!