What is it with proselytizers?

[MineralMan]

So, I have a No Soliciting sign on the mailbox by my front door. I put it there to stem the tide of people trying to sell me new windows and siding, but also to keep folks from just dropping by and interrupting my life.

Last evening, around 8:30 PM, all the lights in the house were out, at least in the living room, and we hadn't turned on the porch light before heading to bed (we get up really early). So, someone knocks on the front door. I went to the door, flipped on the porch light and looked out the window in the door. A couple of guys in their 30s, one in a nice leather jacket, and another man standing behind him were there. I didn't see any weapons, so I opened the door and asked if I could help them.

"Do you know Jesus," the guy in the leather jacket said.

I pointed to the No Soliciting sign.

"We're not soliciting. We're inviting you to a Bible Study at our church."

I looked skeptically at the man and said, "How is that not soliciting?"

The man's faced turned to an angry face and he started to argue with me at my own door. I simply closed and locked the door without saying anything else, and turned the porch light off. The men left and went on to the house next door.

What on Earth prompts someone to come to the door of a darkened house, knock on it and solicit someone to come to a freaking Bible Study? I guess I don't understand that at all. The house is clearly not receiving visitors, or the lights would be on and the porch light would be offering its welcome. Now, I wasn't all that concerned, because our "screen" door has a deadbolt and wouldn't be that easy to enter through. But, what were these two men thinking? Why would they do such a thing? Are they idiots? And then, when I pointed out that I did not welcome solicitors, why would they begin to argue with me?

It's very confusing to me. I can't imagine approaching a darkened house for any reason other than that house being on fire. What were they thinking?

[GodlessBiker]

1. It's insecurity. They are unsure of themselves and feel better if others affirm their beliefs.

[Xipe Totec]

2. Join Ussss...!

[MineralMan]

3. Or...

[Xipe Totec]

8. Pear Pimples for Hairy Fishnuts!

[lonestarnot]

25. oops.

[monmouth]

4. Did you see any literature? I'm thinking they were testing to see if

anyone was actually home, if you didn't answer an attempted break-in. Just speculating, their approach was very odd.

[MineralMan]

6. Nah, I don't think so. Too well-dressed for that.

I wouldn't have opened the door otherwise.

[mudplanet]

17. Guess what? How a person is dressed is absolutely no indication of

whether or not they are casing your joint. Most of the thieves responsible for wreaking the economy wore thousand dollar suits. Good thieves are dressed well.

I had someone walk into my apartment last year = just opened the door and walked right in and started looking around. The room was dark and I happened to be resting in a chair in the corner and watched him for a minute and then asked him what the hell he thought he was doing and he jumped, thought for a minute, and said, "Do you want to buy any light bulbs." He was very well dressed. And he had a list of bullshit replies in case he was caught. ;

[Dorian Gray]

36. Or there is that....

especially with the lights off.

[nadinbrzezinski]

5. Trust me you made me laugh

I would not approach a dark house unless there was a fire.

Take my word, fires make that formerly dark house very well lit.

If there is some wind you even get flying, and very pretty, pieces of burning wood, oh and the smell can be ahem inviting.

:hi:

No, will not go down the expected EMS jokes.

That said they will sooner or later get shot at. That is the truth, again talking from experience, and darn it they placed the 911 call, or at least somebody did.

[Motown_Johnny]

7. you asked "what on earth...." remember, they think they are working for something in heaven

[MineralMan]

11. Yah, well, I'm not buying any of that, any more than I'm buying

new windows from some random guy walking the streets. That's why the sign's there. It's cut way down on the window and siding sellers. Occasionally one still rings the doorbell. They get stony silence and a finger pointed at the sign.

If I need new windows, I'll check the internet for a reliable company to buy them from. I know those solicitors are getting paid for what they're doing, but I ain't interested.

[Bitwit1234]

9. I myself am 77 and I can say elderly so last week on a

Saturday afternoon an elderly man and woman knock at my door. I live in a small town and on a well traveled street. So I opened the door and the guy started right in about some religion, I said I am definitely not interested in anything you have to say. Slammed the door and went back to my TV show. i don't think I was being rude because like the poster, this is my house and I only entertain those that I invite in. I get so sick of all that religious crap. Usually they have young people roaming the street but this time they were old as me. You are correct what in the devil makes people think that everyone is as nutso over religion as they are. If they believe that God is coming to get them then let that clean their home and sit in the living room and wait. They have no business bothering other people.

[ejpoeta]

10. they need to save you. my sister was a jehovah witness for awhile... she refused to go

knock on peoples doors though. i had an interesting talk with her and one of her friends one time. i asked lots of questions. i haven't had any of them bother me here for some time. they used to come with their little newsletter thing and i'd just take it and they'd go on their way. i try to be polite. the last time the lady made some reference to kids or getting them to behave or something... my kids are hethens you know.... running around and yelling like children do. she asked if i wanted her pamphlet and i said no thanks and she went away.

i don't have a problem with people believing in a religion or something. that is their prerogative. but keep it to yourself. don't try to save me. worry about yourself.

[nadinbrzezinski]

12. That is the point

When they save you, well they get brownie points to spend less time in purgatory. (Reading where all this comes from is damn fascinating)

[MineralMan]

15. I used to talk to the JWs. My uncle was one.

They'd get started, and I'd say, "But, wait. Only 100,000 of you are even going to heaven. Are you one of those?" That generally got them to wander off.

The worst thing about the JW folks is that they often bring children with them, so you won't yell obscenities at them.

[ejpoeta]

32. i wouldn't shout obscenities at them. i have always been polite to them.

it may be arrogant of them to think they can 'save' me, but i was raised to be polite to poeple so i generally am unless they give me a reason not to.

[Terra Alta]

13. As a Christ-follower, I DO know Jesus

and I don't think he would approve of people going around knocking on the doors of complete strangers, especially when they have a sign saying "no soliciting". Jesus didn't try to force people to follow him, nor did he get angry at those who wouldn't. He showed compassion, something most fundamentalist Christians lack.

[LWolf]

42. I agree.

I abhor modern organized christianity. While I'm not a christian, I do think the world would be a better place if more people, especially his followers, lived more like Christ and less like religious tyrants.

That said, I know that there are plenty of Christians out there who do just that; they are just overshadowed by the rest. Here's one that I loved greatly:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=214x259550

[undeterred]

14. Q: DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU WOULD BE IF YOU DIED TONIGHT?

A: HOPEFULLY IN THE MORGUE.

Thats what you should say before you slam the door if anyone ever comes to your door and asks.

[MineralMan]

16. Nah. I'd say, "I wouldn't be standing here listening to your babble."

Then, I'd say, "Goodbye," and close the door in their faces.

[undergroundpanther]

43. I Tell them

Before they even say anything,I HATE your god. The Smite em all god and jesus be happy to dash your children's heads against the rocks,is a sociopath. If I am forced to go to that"heaven" full of weird mutant things covered in eyes and worse, I will want to kill your god. Why? Because if your god really IS omnipotent,knows ahead of time what will happen before it happens,and is omnipresent and admits he created this world,this fucked up reality in god's opinion was 'good.He admits he created Lucifer.He did all it deliberately fully knowing Lucifer would fall,Knowing Adam and Eve would eat the fruit of knowledge in the garden,and knew would be sent to this terrible world.your god created the conditions so countless people suffer and die.The bible makes it clear your god is THE TRUE primordial causer& sole creator of EVIL itself .Your god IS responsible for every evil thing that has EVER happened because he MADE it happen,He knew it would happen,and he LET it happen.The bible makes a clear case your god is an abusive two faced murdering sociopath .this is why I HATE your god..The bible tells me your jealous god is truly evil.You know that good fruits don't come from bad trees..So,get your rotten fruits off my porch,and take your tyrant god with you!!

They stand there stunned.I slam the door.

I can usually use theology to twist them into a knot.And once I got a fundie proselytizer in bike shorts that were totally left nothing to the imagination yellin'with a bullhorn, to admit a satanist goes to heaven even if he dies a satanist in front of his church and the crowd laughing at him. lulz..

[Justitia]

18. I never answered the door unless it was someone I was expecting. My neighbors knew to call first.

One time my dad called me on the phone and asked me to answer the damn door already, LOL.

It's really just safer. Anybody you want to talk to would have called you ahead of time.

Now I live in a secure bldg and it's great.

Although I do miss the trick or treaters!

[EC]

20. This is what I do too

but I went one step further...I disabled the door bell...I don't even know when there is anyone at the door...

[REP]

19. I do not answer the door for those I do not know

At my old place, once in a while particularly aggressive god-botherers would shout through my door. That never ended well.

My mother, a one-time Sunday school teacher and current atheist, will drill them on finer points of scripture if she's bored. She's even read Esther to them. In Hebrew.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

21. I'm the same way. I won't answer the door unless I'm expecting someone.

I did make an exception the other day (I saw the mailman pulled up, and he had a certified letter that needed to be signed). Other than than, nope. I also have a No Soliciting sign, but that doesn't always stop people from coming up, knocking on my door or ringing the doorbell.

[pipi_k]

22. So now you have to put up another sign

that's more specific, like, "Don't bother trying to invite us to your church or convert us to your religion" or an all-purpose, "If it's dark and the house/porch lights are out, that means GO AWAY!!!"

[sakabatou]

23. Because they believe what they give out is free

it's not soliciting.

[The Straight Story]

24. I ask that every time I see a political ad, bumper sticker, etc - why do others spend their time

trying to get me to believe their way is the best?

[lonestarnot]

26. Are you sure they weren't just stoned tricker treaters with their days mixed up?

:P

[KathieG]

27. Try this sign...

[RedCloud]

28. Try this: "How dare you insult mighty Zeus on my property!"

[mzteris]

29. I called the police once

when I lived in a condo and the fundies would come every damn week and knock on the doors!! There was a NO SOLICITING sign on the entrances to the condos - so I called the cops. Lots of arguing, but in the end, they were told to go away and never come back.

And that was back when I was still a "buhliever" (oh the shame. . . ) - but I damn well hated people interrupting MY evening with their sales pitch of any kind!

[L0oniX]

30. "Are you of the body"?

[TexasObserver]

31. People who think they've found a panacea think it's for everyone.

Doesn't really matter what their "salvation" is, if they think it saved them, they want to bend your ear about it.

[trusty elf]

33. I find such people presumptuous and arrogant. N/T

[raccoon]

38. Also intrusive, rude, and self-righteous. nt

[trusty elf]

40. Yes, that too! nt

[HughBeaumont]

34. Bumper sticker -

[Dorian Gray]

35. They were pushy people

who didn't want to take no for an answer. I had the Fraternal Order of Police call yesterday, and they behaved in much the same way. I said: "I do not make pledges or donations over the phone." "Oh! We're not asking for donations. But with your contribution, we can do blah blah blah blah blah."

Much like you, I said sorry and hung up the phone.

It's not quite the same as receiving an in person solicitation, but it's still annoying.

They're generally taught not to take no as an answer and keep pushing through.

[_ed_]

37. But,

don't you get just as many atheists coming to your door and asking you to be rational and logical? Oh, wait...

I have to give it up for religious people, though, they've been stunningly effective at selling a product that doesn't exist. Impressive from a marketing standpoint.

[LWolf]

39. They are taught that it's a required part of their faith to witness and convert.

I have 2 stories to share, about the last 2 times proselytizers arrived on my doorstep:

The first incident was about 10 years ago. I lived in a little house in town that had a 4 ft fence and gate around the whole property, with garage and driveway in back accessible through an alley. I got home, parked in the driveway, dumped my purse and keys in the house, and went back out to do some yard work in the back. Meanwhile, my son left the house by the front to go somewhere. He never saw my purse by the door, didn't know I was home, and locked me out. Which I discovered when I was ready to go in. I circled the house to my bedroom window, which had no screen. Unfortunately, it was painted shut. I couldn't budge it. So I went back to the garage, got a crowbar, and was just coming around to the front when the 2 gentlemen and 1 lady in suits stepped through my gate. They wanted to know if I'd heard the "good news." I told them that I was too busy breaking into the house to hear their good news at that time. They looked at the crowbar in my hand, and carefully went back OUT the gate. I started locking that front gate after that, and that's the closest they'd get. They'd stand at the gate and call and wave, and I'd ignore them.

The second incident was about 5 years ago, after I moved here. I have a long (300 yds) driveway that cuts between two small (1.5 acres each) fields. I was at the far end of one, at the bottom of a slope, setting up a drip irrigation system for the trees. I saw the car go down my private dirt road and turn down the driveway. They stopped at the gate to the small yard that surrounds the house, but didn't try to approach the door. They'd seen me in the field on their way down the road. So they approached the gate to the field, which was all the way across from where I was. I think they would have opened the gate and marched on down to preach to me, except my dog was with me, and she ran back and forth in front of the gate, barking hysterically and deterring them from coming further. They called and waved. I ignored and kept working. They called and waved some more. I ignored some more. I never looked in their direction. Finally they gave up and drove away, but not without leaving some pamphlets stuck in the fence. I'm at the dead end of a private dirt road which comes of a county dirt road winding around a few miles off a local rural paved road; not that easy to find. I generally don't have to close the front gate here to keep people away, but I do let the rose bush that the previous owner planted too close to the front gate to the house grow too large and block the path through the gate to deter the uninvited. The invited know the other way into the house. ;)

[TBF]

41. The mormons must have some massive quotas to hit this year -

they hang out in the parking lot near the grocery stores here, and I see them riding their bikes around.

[MountainLaurel]

44. Maybe they needed to meet their quota for the night?

:shrug:

[backscatter712]

45. Had some fundie offer to faith-heal me a few days ago.

Being born with club feet, I walk a little funny, and this fundie must have saw that, asked me if I wanted supernatural healing.

I just :eyes: and walked away.