Amerablog puts it better than I ever could (what it means to be gay in America)

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This is what it means to be gay in America in 2010. I think a lot of people who aren't gay, and even many who are, like to think that we're all rich and live in big welcoming cities where being gay is about as big a handicap as being left-handed. We say we want our civil rights, but I think a lot of people think we've got things pretty good, and behind closed doors, they probably call us whiners too.

And I'm sure our lives are pretty good, and just as good as straight people's, except for the part about not being able to get married, have children in many states, keep a job - oh yeah, and that nagging desire to kill ourselves because so many of us grew up thinking we were horrible people who would never be loved, or find love.

I think it's this kind of attitude that leads people to lecture us about "keeping the long view in mind" with regards to getting our civil rights. I wrote in response, just yesterday, "to paraphrase Keynes, in the long view we're all dead."

Gay civil rights isn't a "social issue." It's our lives. A lot of us, myself included, grew up thinking we'd never see the age of 30 because we'd have to kill ourselves once people found out we were gay. A lot of people have no idea how hard it is to grow up being gay. To grow up thinking God made you wrong. Thinking you will never find love. Thinking your own family and friends will disown you once they know who you really are. And hearing the President of the United States - one of the "good" guys - say that you don't deserve the right to marry the person you love.

And when politicians make promises to us, break promises to us, then lecture us to "stop whining" because the other guy would hurt us even worse, it really hits a raw nerve. It suggests that they don't think our struggle is a struggle. They don't think it's as important as the "important" issues the country faces. It tells us that they think we're just another special interest, no different than the corporate lobbyist trying to get another tax break.

Until kids like Tyler Clementi stop killing themselves, we will continue to whine. We'll whine about bad politicians who try to pass legislation hurting us, and "good" politicians who say the right thing, but can't seem to find the time to fit our civil rights into their busy schedules.

More at
http://www.americablog.com/2010/09/rutgers-freshman-kills-self-after.html

John Avaros says it like it is.

[meowomon]

1. I'm gonna whine too.

This isn't a choice for me. I grew up always knowing and admitted to my classmates back in 77. At the time, I just couldn't figure out why anyone was so opposed to it. And I grew up in a right wing Christian pentecostal bible thumping family. But, it is as genetic for me as the color of my skin or my eyes.

It runs in the family, you know. My "spinster" great aunt died and left her estate to a lesbian couple. I am quite sure my nephew is gay. When he was a little boy and we played video games, he used to say, "Oh, he's so cute!" about some avatars. So, I will whine until I have complete equality.

[TexasObserver]

2. The mistreatment of gays remains a true shame upon America.

[tavalon]

3. My only complaint is he shouldn't use their damned framing

Gays are agitating and being activist, they aren't whining. This administration is whining because we are putting their feet to the fire just as they told us to. Waah!

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5. I think he is using that framing ironically

[myrna minx]

4. .

:grouphug: K&R

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6. thanks

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7. kick