Were you self-sufficient at age 18? A post about aged-out foster care youth.

[Cant trust em]

I was just thinking about aged out foster care youth, who for most of their lives live within the foster care system, but when they turn 18 they are expected to go out and live regular lives on their own. This seems like a no-win situation for a lot of kids who don’t have any other support groups to lean on. I think about what it was like when I was 18, still living with my parents while I attended community college. I had a part-time job as a line cook at a cheap restaurant in town that gave me some income, but not really enough to live on if I needed to. What would my life have been like if I had to work, go to school and pay rent with no support around me? I doubt that I would be where I am now.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

1. Not really.

I did have a low-paying job internship which was enough for things like books and clothing, but if I had to pay for rent and utilities and food I'd be gloriously fucked.

[county worker]

2. I graduated from high school in 1964. I got a job at a grocery store and was doing pretty good.

Then the year I turned 19 I was drafted. I have been on my own ever since.

[Arkansas Granny]

17. I also graduated from high school in 1964. I got a job at a local real estate office right

after graduation. I was still living at home, but I gave my folks over half my take home pay every week to help with expenses. I got married the following year.

[sinkingfeeling]

3. I was married at 19, dropped out of college, and was the sole bread winner. 19 is one year older.

[saigon68]

4. I was Killing kommunists with a little help of older NCOs

Soon I was a Sgt at 20 helping new 18 year old Pvts "Grease Gooks"

[county worker]

7. Where you like me and could not get a booze ration card?

I got the cards that others didn't want at the end of the month and all that was left was gin. So I got gin and 7-up to mix together. Being 20 and not allowed to drink or vote but we could die alright.

[saigon68]

16. Yes it was galling

Had fully auto weapons and could only drink beer.

When a pallet arrived we drank it warm

[Gaedel]

46. And in TET 68

They ran out of every kind of beer except Pabst in incredibly rusted cans.

[Liberal_in_LA]

5. Not really. Enrolled in college so support was combination of parents and financial aid

not self sufficient until 22

[Johonny]

20. +1

[Liberal_in_LA]

6. In los angeles, the support lasts until 22 or so, financial support or group homes

where the kids are eased into adult-hood. There is a growing realization that aging them out at 18 just fed the homeless population

[Gormy Cuss]

10. Yes, because unlike most 18 year olds they generally don't have parents or other family to lean on.

They need to be able to access mentoring and financial support from somewhere.

[Cant trust em]

Are those county programs, or are they done by non-profits? nt

[Liberal_in_LA]

14. county / government

[HockeyMom]

8. I graduated high school at 17

I took both accelerated secretarial courses and college prep courses. Actually, I could have graduated high school at 16. I got a good paying job in corporate headquarters in NYC at 17. I had my own apartment, health insurance, and took college courses at night paid for by the corporation. Only on occasion did my parents slip me a few $'s between paychecks when needed. At 19 I even saved enough money to go to Europe, thanks in part to rent control back then.

This was in the 60s and 70s. Doubt this could happen now though.

[Obamanaut]

9. I graduated from HS at age 17, and was in basic training 4 days after

graduation.

28 years later I retired. During those years I got a wife, two daughters, and a degree.

[Edweird]

11. I was, by necessity, self sufficient earlier than that by a few years.

I've had a hard but interesting life.

[jwirr]

12. Married and had child by the time I was 16. Husband one year older

than I and yes we were self-sufficient until the child was diagnoses as severely disabled. In the 1950s it was easier to be self-sufficient. We both also lived in a rural area with all kinds of family around us for support. I do not think this can be accomplished today.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

13. Nope. I was sucking on the governnment teat in the marine crotch.

[NNN0LHI]

15. Yes, I was working full time supporting a young family before I was 19

Had a wife, daughter, some pets and was renting a house by then. Retired with a great pension and medical coverage at 48.

Don

[Nay]

18. I was, back in 1970. It was a bit easier then, because wages were

more in line with what things cost. But I was still poor, putting myself through college.

[uncommon]

19. Hardly. I was in college racking up student loan debt with no idea how to take care of myself.

And it's getting worse every few years. The market isn't ready for new workers and the kids aren't educated about how to take care of themselves.

As it applies to foster care, this is a really interesting topic. I guess since it costs the system money, they age them out, but they should consider the additional cost of supporting them in other ways down the road before making such rash decisions.

[uncommon]

24. I should be more specific - I was on my own and somehow survived, but it wasn't pleasant. nt

[nonconformist]

21. Not completely self-sufficent until I was 19, however...

From 16-18, I depended on my Social Security (due to my father's death) checks to survive. I well remember the fear of losing those checks as I approached my 18th birthday. To add to the frustration, my checks were cut off a month earlier than I expected because my birthday falls on the 1st of the month.

I had a pretty interesting mid to late teen years experience.

While I was never part of the foster care system officially, I can moderately relate to what those kids are facing as they turn 18. I feel for them, it's rough.

[seabeyond]

22. yes. actually, 17. i started school early. graduated at 17. went on my own, fall of next yr. nt

[slackmaster]

23. Sort of

I was an undergraduate. I used up a small inheritance (about $5K) and took several part-time jobs to get myself through school.

[racaulk]

25. Nope, not at all.

It's a long story, but I'm the only child of a single father. My dad never wanted to be a parent and was one of these "I'm going to do the minimum I have to do for you, and when you're 18, you're getting the hell out of my house" types. At 18 I was completely socially inept, had zero self-esteem, and really had no idea how to be self-sufficient (or even what that meant, really). I didn't have a driver's license or any means to transport myself.

Luckily, I was able to get enough financial aid to leave home for college. From there, with no support from my family, I was somehow able to cobble together a support network that got me through tough times and helped me make it through those years. A meal here, a car ride there, and an occasional place to sleep really meant so much. I don't think I was truly self-sufficient until I was in my mid-20s.

So my heart goes out to those that grow up in the foster care system, are homeless, or have to deal with horrible living conditions. I don't think I had it easy by any means, but I know there are many kids out there living through hell that I cannot begin to imagine.

[MrSlayer]

26. Not even close. I'm barely self-sufficient now.

If it weren't for my wife I'd never be able to find anything.

[Jumping John]

27. Well to note that a foster child may not be as well adjusted as a non-foster child also. N/t

[WolverineDG]

28. Once CPS can't make another dime off of them

they turn them loose. Of course, they have nowhere to go, since CPS did its best to sever all family ties & cut off foster youth from ALL of their relatives (not just the parents). But since they aren't "cash crops" for CPS anymore, CPS won't do squat for them.



dg

[SoCalDem]

29. I was, but times were different..

I hit the road with my cat, my tv, my beat up old car, my clothes, a Vickers gas card with a $100 limit and $14 cash & moved 250 miles from home.. I thought I had a job lined up, but it fell through so I just winged it:)

[zabet]

30. Yes.

Left home at 17. Worked 3 jobs to start with until I got on my feet good.

[lumberjack_jeff]

31. Yes.

Moved out when I was 18 years, 6 months.

Protracted adolescence is a relatively new thing.

[Uben]

32. I retired when I was 16

.....every night about ten o'clock!

[Crabby Appleton]

33. Yes, on my own at 17, and then in the US Army at 18. nt

[Cronus Protagonist]

34. Yes. Of course.

I had no problems.

[Lilith Velkor]

35. Didn't you know that everyone on the internet was self-sufficient by age 16?

Geez. Get with the program.

[1monster]

36. Pretty much so. I did go to a college that insisted that girls under 21 live on campus,

but after the first year, I got an apartment in town and managed to convice the school that, since I was now a local, I could live off campus. I was self supporting (other than the college loans I got and later repaid).

But I was not happy at home and had been supporting myself financially since I was sixteen, even if I lived with my paretns until I was 18.

My son, at eighteen, is no where near self-sufficient and will probably not be for five to ten years.... sigh.

edited to add: There should be some kind of fall-back support system for foster kids. To just cut them loose at age 18 is criminal. Everyone needs a back up system some times and foster kdis are not likely to have one of their own and are too young to have created a cushion for themselves.

[kelly1mm]

37. Yes. Moved out at 16, in the army at 17. nt

[intheflow]

38. I dropped out of high school at 17 to have a baby.

Married the father, too. We were solidly living on our own, but on welfare. So self-sufficient? Not really. But not under parental care, either. Though believe me, navigating the welfare system is an adult job in and of itself.

[KamaAina]

39. You raise an interesting point.

Especially considering lots of kids with disabilities end up in the foster care system. And 60% of all adults with disabilities, of any age, derive their entire income from government benefit programs such as SSI.

Now, what might we do about that? We have a good working relationship with our sister organization up in The City. Maybe they could come up with something.

[jp11]

40. No, but our foster care system isn't about getting people established it is about doing the

basic minimum for children until they are legally allowed to be responsible for themselves which is 18. At 18 they can manage for themselves, even if I or others did not, if I had to I would have. Being able to not 'have to make it' is a benefit of an understanding parent/family who'd like to give you a chance at something better than 'just getting by'. Plenty of families can or do something similar in a tough love fashion or perhaps can't afford to support their kids anymore for any number of reasons, being able to keep living off your family at or after 18 isn't guaranteed to everyone.

[KamaAina]

41. There is federal money available to assist such youth with college

but not a great deal of it. It's called a Chafee Grant, after one of the few recent repuke Senators who walks upright. But it's only $5,000 a year, and even at that, it isn't fully funded, so many eligible youth get squat.

Also, SF State has ths program that might be worth looking into:

http://www.sfsu.edu/~eop/gs.html

[PJPhreak]

42. I "Aged Out" from the Foster Care System at 19 in 1977.

One day the Director at the program I was living at came up to me and asked "What are you gonna do with your life?" my answer like a lot of kids at that age was "I Donno".

What did they do? Arranged a factory job for me,got me a $35 a week room at an SRO Hotel packed me and my stuff into a van drove me over to my new "Digs" told me who to report to on Mon. morning at my new job and drove away.

That was it,never heard from them or CPS ever again,no follow up,No advice,nothing.

And its a wonder I ever lived thru the next number of years.The placement I was at was more of a warehouse for Teenagers,no life skill training,no real counseling,just a place to keep kids they could not find any other placement for.

And its no wonder that next to Vets,People who Aged out of the Foster Care System make up the second largest portion of the homeless in the U.S.

Thank the Deadheads and the Rainbow Family Folk that I ran into soon after for showing me a better way to see the world as it is,for opening my eyes if you will...otherwise I would be Dead,Drug addicted or in prison.

[mike_c]

43. I left home at 15, but I wasn't self sufficient until some years later....

Spent a year or so couch surfing at friends' houses. I moved hundreds of miles away from my family at 16 or so, maybe early 17. It was a long time ago. By 18 I was married and self sufficient, however. From that point on I was as "self sufficient" as I have ever been. Much better at it as I've gotten older, of course.

[Fast Dude]

44. Yes, I was

I had a job in a foundry, and got married 4 months after I turned 18. My wife was a hostess at a Shoney's restaurant. We were entirely self supporting.

[mdmc]

45. ..