It's time to play the game again - Make me a US Citizen!

[Xipe Totec]

Pretend, for a moment, that you are not a US Citizen

Imagine that by some colossal cosmic mistake the stork's navigation system went haywire, and you were dumped on some God forsaken place instead of the good ol' USA. Can't say where, exactly, but wherever it is, your butt is now covered in cactus thorns.

Bad landing, what can I say.

For the sake of argument, let's say that you are bright and ambitious, but born into poverty. There's nothing wrong with you, it's just that fortune's wheel decided to run over you. You are unschooled, and unskilled, but willing to work to make something of yourself.

You hear about this place called the USA, the land of opportunity, where you could be the success you were destined to become, if only that stupid stork hadn't missed the drop zone.

Now the catch is that this place is a real stickler for law, and order, and rules, and procedures. So, you decide to play by the rules to make sure you don't get in trouble.

The very first step you have to take is to become a legal resident. Once you have that, you're pretty much set; five years later you can apply for citizenship.

The name of this game is "Make me a Citizen"

To make it interesting, let's say that you have no relatives in the USA, and you didn't land in any of the backup landing zones like Cuba, which would make you automatically eligible for resident status. (For some strange reason, if you were born in a country we really hate like Cuba or Iraq, then you're in like flint. But if you're born in a 'friendly' country, forget it).

Here are the official rules:

http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis

Remember, you are poor and uneducated (not your fault, just dumb luck).

Good luck, and I hope you win this game. Because, seriously, if you can't make it, you're pretty much screwed.



PS: This is a re-post from May-2-2006. There were no winning replies then. Maybe now, four years later, somebody has found a way to legally become a US citizen...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x1087228