Wonkette: Cheney an "old, sick, diseased 69-year-old blob of bitter fat and gristle and plastic"

[Amerigo Vespucci]

DICK CHENEY HEALTH UPDATE

Waiting For Dick Cheney To Die? Get a Chair

http://wonkette.com/416309/waiting-for-dick-cheney-to-die-get-a-chair



First, it’s not going to be “justice” when Dick Cheney finally drops dead. He’s an old man, a sick & diseased 69-year-old blob of bitter fat and gristle and plastic. If the poisonous toad had been run over by a manure truck about thirty years ago, that would’ve been evidence of the Great Cosmic Wheels of Justice at work, for if such forces existed, they would not be shackled by our puny concepts of Time.

Instead, his long evil life — maintained and extended at great cost to U.S. taxpayers — is a testament to the complete lack of supernatural punishment. Look at this, from a long list of Cheney’s endless “health problems” reaching back to the Disco Era: “1978: Cheney’s first heart attack.” 1978. Still think it’s a good idea to waste your Saturday afternoon checking the Internet for reports of Dick’s demise?

Who knows, maybe he’s already dead and his Evil Family doesn’t want the news lost during a Gay Soccer Frenzy Weekend. Can get a lot of crocodile tears from the cable-news clowns if you put off the announcement until, say, early Monday. A slow news day. Before that goddamned Kagan confirmation starts, or maybe after it’s over, early afternoon, so it can drag on all night. Try not to do it on a day when the oil spill news is particularly bad. After the midterms, maybe.

Did Cheney expire in February, after his fifth documented heart attack? How would anyone know the difference?

But here’s the official word, for the moment:

Cheney was not feeling well on Friday and went to see his doctors at George Washington University. On their advice, he was admitted to the hospital for further testing.

Go outside, have “fun,” drink Bud Light Lime, yell at the Ghanaians, whatever people do on these long — but already getting shorter — summer days. Yes, summer’s already shrinking, dusk coming a few minutes earlier than last week’s solstice, the long march to winter’s darkness already underway. The world turns, the leaves fall, the ice caps melt, and the mysterious fire of life continues to flicker within the shit-husk known as Dick Cheney.

Sure, there’s a God. But she is evil.

[HipChick]

1. omg

:rofl:

[Stinky The Clown]

2. Reccie-poo

[SpiralHawk]

3. oh my

the truth it burns

[CTyankee]

4. Yes. Karma lives....nt

[Contrary1]

5. Wow.

Just wow. :wow:

[KittyWampus]

6. ... and oil. She forgot the oil.

[UpInArms]

7. "life continues to flicker within the shit-husk known as Dick Cheney"

best description of heartless crashcart pos dickwad evah!

:applause:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

11. That was my favorite line as well...

...on pieces that good, I generally copy and paste without comment, waiting to see if the words that resonated with me also resonate with my fellow DUers.

:patriot:

[malaise]

8. I love honesty

Bravo Wonkette. :applause: :rofl:

[RainDog]

9. k and freaking r

[CatWoman]

10. We should do a poll

as to how many recs this thread will get :)

[Stargazer09]

12. Personally,

I don't want him to die just yet. I want him to pay for his crimes against our country, our world, and all of humanity.

We'll give him a trial, since we're decent like that, then we'll stick his guilty husk of a body into a small lifeboat in the middle of the oil slick and let him ponder his lifetime of evil.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

15. I'm reminded of the conclusion to Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein"...

http://www.literature.org/authors/shelley-mary/frankenstein/chapter-24.html

"Oh, it is not thus--not thus," interrupted the being; "yet such must be the impression conveyed to you by what appears to be the purport of my actions. Yet I seek not a fellow-feeling in my misery. No sympathy may I ever find. When I first sought it, it was the love of virtue, the feelings of happiness and affection with which my whole being overflowed, that I wished to be participated. But now that virtue has become to me a shadow and that happiness and affection are turned into bitter and loathing despair, in what should I seek for sympathy? I am content to suffer alone while my sufferings shall endure: when I die, I am well satisfied that abhorrence and opprobrium should load my memory. Once my fancy was soothed with dreams of virtue, of fame, and of enjoyment. Once I falsely hoped to meet with beings who, pardoning my outward form, would love me for the excellent qualities which I was capable of unfolding. I was nourished with high thoughts of honour and devotion. But now crime has degraded me beneath the meanest animal. No guilt, no mischief, no malignity, no misery, can be found comparable to mine. When I run over the frightful catalogue of my sins, I cannot believe that I am the same creature whose thoughts were once filled with sublime and transcendent visions of the beauty and the majesty of goodness. But it is even so; the fallen angel becomes a malignant devil. Yet even that enemy of God and man had friends and associates in his desolation; I am alone.

"You, who call Frankenstein your friend, seem to have a knowledge of my crimes and his misfortunes. But in the detail which he gave you of them he could not sum up the hours and months of misery which I endured, wasting in impotent passions. For while I destroyed his hopes, I did not satisfy my own desires. They were for ever ardent and craving; still I desired love and fellowship, and I was still spurned. Was there no injustice in this? Am I to be thought the only criminal when all human kind sinned against me? Why do you not hate Felix who drove his friend from his door with contumely? Why do you not execrate the rustic who sought to destroy the saviour of his child? Nay, these are virtuous and immaculate beings! I, the miserable and the abandoned, am an abortion, to be spurned at, and kicked, and trampled on. Even now my blood boils at the recollection of this injustice.

"But it is true that I am a wretch. I have murdered the lovely and the helpless; I have strangled the innocent as they slept, and grasped to death his throat who never injured me or any other living thing. I have devoted my creator, the select specimen of all that is worthy of love and admiration among men, to misery; I have pursued him even to that irremediable ruin. There he lies, white and cold in death. You hate me; but your abhorrence cannot equal that with which I regard myself. I look on the hands which executed the deed; I think on the heart in which the imagination of it was conceived, and long for the moment when these hands will meet my eyes, when that imagination will haunt my thoughts no more.

"Fear not that I shall be the instrument of future mischief. My work is nearly complete. Neither yours nor any man's death is needed to consummate the series of my being, and accomplish that which must be done; but it requires my own. Do not think that I shall be slow to perform this sacrifice. I shall quit your vessel on the iceraft which brought me thither, and shall seek the most northern extremity of the globe; I shall collect my funeral pile and consume to ashes this miserable frame, that its remains may afford no light to any curious and unhallowed wretch who would create such another as I have been. I shall die. I shall no longer feel the agonies which now consume me, or be the prey of feelings unsatisfied, yet unquenched. He is dead who called me into being; and when I shall be no more the very remembrance of us both will speedily vanish. I shall no longer see the sun or stars, or feel the winds play on my cheeks. Light, feeling, and sense will pass away; and in this condition must I find my happiness. Some years ago, when the images which this world affords first opened upon me, when I felt the cheering warmth of summer, and heard the rustling of the leaves and the warbling of the birds, and these were all to me, I should have wept to die; now it is my only consolation. Polluted by crimes, and torn by the bitterest remorse, where can I find rest but in death?

"Farewell! I leave you, and in you the last of human kind whom these eyes will ever behold. Farewell, Frankenstein! If thou wert yet alive, and yet cherished a desire of revenge against me, it would be better satiated in my life than in my destruction. But it was not so; thou didst seek my extinction that I might not cause greater wretchedness; and if yet, in some mode unknown to me, thou hast not ceased to think and feel, thou wouldst not desire against me a vengeance greater than that which I feel. Blasted as thou wert, my agony was still superior to thine; for the bitter sting of remorse will not cease to rankle in my wounds until death shall close them for ever.

"But soon," he cried, with sad and solemn enthusiasm, "I shall die, and what I now feel be no longer felt. Soon these burning miseries will be extinct. I shall ascend my funeral pile triumphantly, and exult in the agony of the torturing flames. The light of that conflagration will fade away; my ashes will be swept into the sea by the winds. My spirit will sleep in peace; or if it thinks, it will not surely think thus. Farewell."

He sprung from the cabin-window, as he said this, upon the ice-raft which lay close to the vessel. He was soon borne away by the waves and lost in darkness and distance.

[Stargazer09]

23. I doubt Cheney feels remorse, though

Which makes him more of a monster than Frankenstein's monster.

Otherwise, that passage reminds me of this situation, too.

[alphafemale]

48. Yes...even "the creature" had a soul.

by all evidence I've seen so far...Cheney does not.

[UpInArms]

21. please allow me to edit part of your post

then we'll stick his guilty shit-husk of a body into a small lifeboat in the middle of the oil slick and let him ponder his lifetime of evil.

thank you.

other than that one small change, your post was perfect!

[Stargazer09]

22. Thank you

I appreciate your editing, and your compliment.

:patriot:

[crim son]

53. What I want

is for him to have exceeded his right to claim any medical benefits from anywhere, and to try to live as he expects the rest of us to live, on his own dime. Of course it would be better if he were like me, unemployed, and so had no means with which to pay for care... still, it would be fun to think of him actually signing a check for a weekend's "observation" in the hospital. :evilgrin:

edited for typo

[barbtries]

66. one of the (many) great comments at the OP's link:

Dolmance says at 6:45 pm, June 26th, 2010


I was speaking to my dear old mother on just this subject earlier. She hopes he becomes a drooling, shitting semi conscious burden on his family, lingering on for years so they go crazy and learn to pray for him to die. But he doesn’t die. He just goes on and on drooling and shitting.

I on the other hand was hoping for complete paralysis, while his mental faculties remain untouched - for years and years stretching into decades.

It’s hard to decide what to hope for.

Read more at Wonkette: http://wonkette.com/416309/waiting-for-dick-cheney-to-die-get-a-chair#ixzz0s4t4tJV3

[Stargazer09]

88. That sounds like a good wish

Unfortunately, they probably have enough money to lock him into a long-term care facility, and some other poor soul will have to take on the responsibilities of cleaning up after him.

On the other hand, draining the family's inheritance that way would be a good thing. Economic stimulus, paid for by the Cheney empire!

[GoCubsGo]

78. Same here.

Only, I don't want to stick him out in a lifeboat in the middle of the oil slick. I want him on his hands and knees scrubbing up that mess he helped create. And, I want the rest of his putrid family right next to him, doing the same. Make 'em lick it up.

[Stargazer09]

86. That would be awesome

But he would claim to be having chest pains again, and someone would feel sorry for him and take him to the hospital.

I think the lifeboat is a better idea, particularly one without any way to communicate to the outside world.

[RainDog]

13. I wish I could rec this a brazillion times n/t

[stevedeshazer]

14. And all you DUpes wanna do is pile on a sick old man.

Well get the hell out of my way!

:rofl:

[Initech]

17. It's not in my nature to kick a man when he's down but...

Cheney isn't a man, he's pure evil.

[RainDog]

16. premature

[Bitwit1234]

18. I posted this before and I will again

The last time he was ill I wished him WELL. After the oil spill which I believe is directly because of his policies I wish him HELL.

[SusanaMontana41]

82. Am confident he's headed there

along with a few of his friends ...

[liberation]

89. Too bad there is no hell...

... he will die a rich man, and his scions will get to give the old Cheney magic a new spin.

Rinse, repeat...

[Boudica the Lyoness]

100. Watch Gasland on HBO

It's a documentary about the drilling for natural gas and the terrible pollution it has caused. Cheney and Halliburton are behind the irresponsible methods they use.

They (he) created loopholes in the law. :mad:

I consider him a threat to me, my family, nature, the Earth and everything good.

[alfredo]

19. The play "Richard III" must have been about him.

[aquart]

69. Nuh uh. I feel sympathy for RIII.

[alfredo]

71. R I and R II were better.

[aquart]

74. Better for WHAT, precisely?

You want decent, humane legislation, go with RIII.

I'm guessing you never read The Daughter of Time by Tey?

[alfredo]

75. Never did.

[ooglymoogly]

114. Ahhh yes, he made the trains run on time. nt

[ooglymoogly]

80. Plots have I laid; Inductions dangerous.

Of course that was Shakespeare take. R3 was not, by anyone's machinations, less than vicious, dangerous and supremely ambitious; For whom laws and justice were meant for others. I'd say there are similarities there.

[katandmoon]

20. K&R for Wonkette. That post is a thing of beauty.

[RainDog]

25. it really is, isn't it?

I've saved it so that I can read it when I'm feeling sad. :)

[madmax]

24. Geeeez Wonkette

C'mon hon, don't hold back. Tell us how you really feel.

;) :applause:

[D23MIURG23]

26. As a polymer chemist I resent the above characterization.

Plastic should not be slandered by association to Dick Cheney.

Otherwise, great post.

:hi:

[Frisbee]

84. Nor should the Devil...

Who dreams of being as evil as Dick Cheney.

[Kalyke]

27. Makes me wonder if the atheists on the board now wish there was a Hell.

:hi:

[SammyWinstonJack]

52. This atheist does and I'll include Tony "Soulless Evil Bastard" Hayward in that wish also.

:bounce:

[aquart]

70. And don't forget the Filthy Five who gave us Bush and Dick.

[liberation]

90. I don't have any interest in fairy tales, regardless of who is involved.

I am not going to throw away a lifetime of enlightenment for this piece of shit Cheney, he does not deserve even my contempt.

Fairy tales do not make up for the fact we collectively failed as a society.

[XanaDUer]

28. "You can't be any poorer than dead."

F. O'Conner

[ooglymoogly]

77. Proof there is, sometimes, hilarity in the absolute and beauty in brevity.

No doubt the chains that Cheney has wrought will follow him; Though briefly forgotten while he lies in state in some great cathedral on an invisible pentagram, whilst his fellow sadists and partners in crime file past, to honor the vast putridity in the death of so great an evil; And while silently there is a joyous tremor in the force.

[SILVER__FOX52]

29. My hatred of this man, knows no

bounds.

[WCGreen]

30. Now I am vindicated that a snarky 30-something has splayed the

rotted soul of Dick Cheney.

Score one for the good guys...

:sarcasm:

for the last part, not the first...

[UTUSN]

31. K&R #63 n/t

[treestar]

32. He has known he has heart problems so long though

His first heart attack was at 37, I learned yesterday. That is he has any brains, his diet is probably pretty good and he is in otherwise good shape.

Unless his evil keeps him going.

[treestar]

33. He was in a wheelchair at the inauguration

Have his evil legs started transporting him again?

I can see where the inauguration of the first black President would have caused him to feel poorly, though.

[madmom]

34. Nope, I honestly believe he was in that wheelchair simply so he

wouldn't have to stand for the first black president. I don't care what anyone says that's my opinion and I'm sticking to it!

[backscatter712]

36. All he needed was a white persian cat on his lap... n/t

[Amerigo Vespucci]

38. The old Joe Flaherty / SCTV "Guy Caballero" line about why he used a wheelchair...

..."for respect"...



It's hard to tell why Cheney does anything. He knows what people think of him and he feeds on it.

[ooglymoogly]

81. yes, that plus he was looking for sympathy to make prosecution unlikely. nt

[SusanaMontana41]

83. Yep. I'm with ya.

n/t

[papadog]

43. This Vapire fuck only needs a little Babies blood and he keeps on going.

I only hope that when he passes we can se aside our differences and come together as a nation and celebrate FUCK DICK CHENEY DAY!

[Bette Noir]

55. Absolutely.

[grahamhgreen]

35. I hope he has a transformative philosophical awaking that makes him realize the evil of his ways.

[backscatter712]

37. Any new news on the Dick?

All I know is that he's in the hospital.

[pleah]

39. K&R

[truth2power]

40. And read the comments onWonkette's site. Too funny! n/t

[fishbulb703]

41. What a disgusting post. Every rec is another reason why humanity fucking sucks. nt

[tomp]

46. yeah, WE'RE such terrible people.

try to understand that people may have differing philosophical positions on the appropriateness of pre-grave dancing.

[fishbulb703]

47. your last 2 words say it all; and please, don't call it a 'philosophical difference'.

[papadog]

50. That fucker is responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths and you're protecting him?

Why are you here?

[fishbulb703]

58. Yeah, I'm a cheney apologist. You got me! nt

[liberation]

91. Well that is exactly what you just did, so....

LOL.

[SusanaMontana41]

85. Welcome to DU, papadog!

n/t

[tomp]

105. why not call it a philosophical difference? what would you call it? nt

seriously. sounds like you're being very kind of holier-than -thou, as if your opinion on etiquette is superior to everyone else's.

[RainDog]

51. And people said such nasty things about King Geo. III. And the Italian partisans

were SOOO mean to Mussolini - rather than let him stand trial after he dragged his nation into the scum of fascism, the socialist and communist partisans in Italy murdered him (and his mistress) and strung him upside down while American soldiers and the Italians walked around his corpse and spit on it.

In comparison, Cheney is getting off light.

He is a fascist scumbag. I'll be glad when he's dead - b/c, shamefully, my own nation will not hold him accountable for his crimes.

[Bette Noir]

56. Don't forget HItler. People are mean to Hitler all the time.

[RainDog]

57. And Pinochet. Murdering those pregnant women after they gave birth

and giving their children to generals and their wives.

...people were just so mean to him after govts colluded to prevent him from standing trial for his crimes.

at least Chili has had a truth movement and published the truths of Kissinger's puppet so that the world could hear the truth and know the names of young people who were murdered to keep the U.S. safe for exploitation of South American nations.

[fishbulb703]

59. Wow thats a silly generalization of world history. nt

[RainDog]

101. some people think it's repulsive that people in the U.S. want to deny

that Cheney is a war criminal - even tho constitutional scholars like Turley, among many others, have made this case clearly.

I don't really give a fuck what you think - anyone who defends Cheney or find those who note his abuse of power disgusting is disgusting to me.

[fishbulb703]

102. cheney IS a war criminal. Would I protect him from a lynch mob? Yes. nt

[tomp]

106. you seem to be trying to protect him from scorn, not harm.

and i wouldn't rescue him from a lynch mob. if you want him safe, see to it that he is arrested, tried, and convicted.

[fishbulb703]

109. that would be ideal.

[Boudica the Lyoness]

73. You encouraged me to make a comment

Humanity fucking sucks because of people like Dick Cheney, not people like us who know evil when we see. Yes, I want him dead because then maybe my children and grandchildren will have a chance at a clean and healthy life.

[fishbulb703]

103. Is he a criminal? Undoubtedly. Do I want him executed? Probably. Would I

celebrate his death? Not if I could help it.

[Boudica the Lyoness]

104. Well I guess you won't be coming to the party.

I will celebrate his death. It will be a good day indeed.

[tomp]

107. yes, but the issue is why not celebrate his death?

everybody dies. we can mourn, be neutral, or celebrate, depending on how we feel about him.

is this really all about the unseemliness of the thread? and if so, how is it you get to decide on the etiquette.

and frankly, how is it you would not be able to help celebrating?

[fishbulb703]

110. I do not decide the etiquette, clearly. I just don't celebrate death.

edit: of humans

[tomp]

111. if you were to simply not celebrate death that would be one thing.

you are telling others not to do it and maintaining some pretense of moral high ground without elaborating on your position.

you also told me not to call our differences philosophical. give me a good reason not to do either of the things you are telling me/us to do.

[fishbulb703]

112. You have a point, and I wasn't claiming moral superiority.

It probably is a philosophical difference. I was referring to a more primal difference, that of celebrating the non-existence of your own species. That is probably a philosophical difference though.

Grave dancing just isn't my thing, I think we can do better. I thought that was the whole point of progress.

[liberation]

92. Speaking of suckage and disgust...

[Hubert Flottz]

42. Too cheap to pay for his own funeral...

I'd say the type of people who order the torture of unarmed prisoners, deserves a nice warm spot in hell, if there really is such a place.

[bora13]

44. redux

aren't these cheney posts fun???
Posted by bora13 in Latest Breaking News
Sat Jun 26th 2010, 04:14 AM


It's true. Some people have left a blight on the earth. Not a god,
but a human being has done this. So it must be true that god is in us.

[me b zola]

K&R

[me b zola]

45. K&R

[orbitalman]

49. Complete Cynicism, my cup of tea. nt

[Auggie]

54. Cheney is one of hundreds, probably thousands,

of bitter fat and gristle and plastic and sick old blobs. He is undoubtably the most famous. But his death will do nothing to change the world. The thousands of others will continue his work in secret anonymity.

[aquart]

72. His life, however, changed our world horribly.

His death won't alter that.

[libodem]

60. OMG

The shit husk lives. Please drop dead soon.

[KamaAina]

61. Throw in a cheap, Chinese-made toy with toxic paint and you've got a Happy Meal

:evilgrin:

[whatchamacallit]

62. AWESOME!

:yourock:

[Crunchy Frog]

63. How are they actually going to tell when he's died?

I mean, he may have been dead for the past several years. How would you tell the difference?

[Doc Martin]

64. Don't we liberals advocate respect for persons?

Even those we loathe.

I do support his being put up on trial for war crimes and, if convicted, spending life in prison.

[Crunchy Frog]

67. In most cases yes. When we're talking about the minions of Satan, not so much.

[barbtries]

96. those crunchy froglets

are adorable!

[liberation]

94. Respect is earned, not granted.

Why are you using the royal we though?

[barbtries]

65. the comments are priceless

i need to be reading more wonkette.

[get the red out]

68. I can't make fun of heart disease

Not even with Dick Cheney suffering from it. My Dad is in the hospital after a mild heart attack on Friday, he has had open heart surgery three times and as a life-long liberal Democrat, he definitely has a heart. :(

Chances are though that I will walk into Dad's hospital room tomorrow and find him making fun of Cheney, he can't stand the man either.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

76. I hear ya, but I don't think anyone's making fun of heart disease

This is the key passage for me:

If the poisonous toad had been run over by a manure truck about thirty years ago, that would’ve been evidence of the Great Cosmic Wheels of Justice at work, for if such forces existed, they would not be shackled by our puny concepts of Time.

It doesn't matter if he has heart disease, the clap, erectile dysfunction, male pattern baldness, flatulence, cancer, lyme disease...

...it's not about what "disease" he has or "making fun of" other people who have it. I wouldn't do it, I don't believe the author of the piece did it, and I know DU wouldn't stand for it.

This is about a sick, corrupt, evil motherfucker who fattened his bank account with the blood of too damned many American men and women. If you don;t see that, I'm not going to take the time to convince you. You do or you don;t. I'm responding by stating most emphatically that

"this thread does not make fun of heart disease and no one is asking YOU to, either."

Carry on, soldier.

:patriot:

[LaPera]

79. Cheney is older-with a used up body, more than his habitual lying, evil, wicked, greedy 69 years

Can't wait to throw a party - the world will be a much better place - I hope it's sooner than later!

[Cleita]

87. I don't want him to die. I want him to live long

enough to be put on trial for war crimes and sentenced to prison the rest of his life. Not that he will live much longer, but it should shut up the rest of his toxic family and be a warning to any new Cheney wannabes, who admire him for getting away with crime, getting rich on it, to think twice before following in his footsteps.

Keep those bionic parts coming and send him to prison.

[davidwparker]

93. K&R

[Beacool]

95. Wow!!!

A little harsh.........

:wow:

[liberation]

97. Indeed, what is this country coming down to?

Who do these monsters think they are? Using such harsh language when referring to a person who was fundamental in starting a war based on lies which has led to hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians death, ruining the lives of thousands of American families who sent their kids to die in a pointless posturing exercise, and while doing all that to suck our treasury dry.

The real victim here is indeed Dick Cheney... at least he did not use such harsh language, which we all know is the real danger in all this. Sure, a bullet may kill a real human every now and then... but a written word is proven to kill hundreds of thousands of baby unicorns. And that is the real tragedy!

[Enthusiast]

98. Cheney is right up front

with his evil. It's the stealth assholes we gotta look out for.

[opihimoimoi]

99. OMG...I'm the same feakin age as that SOB....people in our bracket can see the grim reap

Most of us try to leave some sort of legacy for our families if not for prosterity

That evil ole asshole is leaving a fucking mess

His greed and selfinterst cannot be matched in our entire American political History

I hope he goes with PAINUS IN THE ANUS

[Arkana]

108. I like that phrase.

[lame54]

113. That's the rudest post I've ever fucking read - K&R

[ooglymoogly]

115. Keep holding that mirror close; That you may see thy breath upon it, as twere;

And see the meaning of a vicious nature in the fog.