Texas Representative Oily Joe Barton apologizes. Please come CAPTION!!!!

[skip fox]

Oily Joe is saying, "First of all Mr. Hayward, I would like to apologize for the fact that that a British gentleman such as yourself has to bow and genuflect to a so-called president of questionable legitimacy and unquestionably inferior physical and mental qualities. Simply a black Chicago thug. Furthermore, Mr. Hayward, I apologize for science, specifically for physics since it has hampered your efforts to extract what rightfully belongs to BP. In addition I am deeply sorry our Gulf waters are diluting our profits even as we speak. Further, let me apologize for God who seems to have overlooked your rightful interests and superior destiny and . . . (blah, blah, blah)."

[SpiralHawk]

1. Republicon Rentboy on Bended Knee services RepubliCorporate Payola Gods

[sarge43]

2. "Oil ain't so bad. I swallow it all the time." n/t

[Ganja Ninja]

3. In Joe's thought bubble:

"OK Barton think! What's the stupidest, most outrageous, totally incomprehensible thing you can possibly say?" :think:

[peekaloo]

4. Gravy train trumps food chain. The law of man trumps the law of nature.

So I'm sorry you dumb asses don't get it.

[skip fox]

5. "And I'm terribly sorry that you and our president are by some even considered

members of the same species. . . . Dreadful!"

[skip fox]

6. "And for all the stars in the sky, the shells on the beach, the winged and finned things

and for all that walk and crawl on earth, nay for life itself!!!!! . . . I most deeply and humbly apologize."

[krispos42]

7. "I'm terribly sorry we got seawater and sea life in your oil" n/t

[lunatica]

8. Forgive us for the Revolutionary war in 1776.

We love the Queen.

[Hubert Flottz]

9. "And I'd like to remind you Mr. Hayward, that Larry Craig is not the

republican with a wide stance, if you get my drift sweetheart."

[BurtWorm]

10. 'To my friends in the oil industry, and I apologize for calling them friends...

I apologize for apologizing, and I make no apologies for apologizing, however I do apologize for apologizing for calling you my friends..."

[skip fox]

11. "I'm Sorry," by Oily Joe Barton

I'm sorry I am I,
And sorry you are you.
I'm sorry for the birds,
Flapping in the blue.

I'm sorry for happiness
And health and unicorns,
And every Democrat with
The presumption to be born.

I'm sorry for ideas and joy
And progressives in alliance.
For our so-called president,
And the objectivity of science.

(additions?)

[skip fox]

13. Expanded edition:

"I'm Sorry," by Oily Joe Barton

I'm sorry I am I,
And sorry you are you.
I'm sorry for the birds,
Flapping in the blue.

I'm sorry for happiness
And health and unicorns,
And every Democrat
With a presumption to be born.

I'm sorry for Happy Endings
And rainbows in storybooks.
I'm sorry for dimples and bows
Framing dewy looks,

And smiles and curls on wee ones,
And mewing little creatures,
I'm sorry for the dirty looks
On all my fellows' features.

I'm sorry for ideas and joy
And forces in defiance,
I'm sorry for your loss of profits,
And the objectivity of science.

If there's anything I can do,
Apologizes that come to mind,
Let me know them true, for there
Is nothing so sweet as your behind!

[marmar]

12. "Sooey"

[geardaddy]

14. Dag nab it, Enos!

[skip fox]

15. ": . . and I apologize for the human race, and. . . ."

[Mendocino]

16. "Mr Hayward, I will pay good money to eat

the fruit of your buns" while giving bun-fruit eating secret hand gesture.