Things my kids do that would get me arrested

[Kadie]

If you need a little break for a smile or laugh, take a look at some of the repsonses to this article over at SFGate.com. :rofl: Share some of your own stories if you like.



Things my kids do that would get me arrested

I'm jealous of my sons on a lot of levels. I'm jealous of their youth and lack of obligations and their ability to eat crap all day and not have any apparent physical repercussions. I'm jealous of the way they can make pretty much any outfit work, regardless of color or style or whether the clothes actually fit. I'm jealous of their naptime, and completely annoyed that they don't seem to appreciate it.

But mostly I'm jealous of their ability to do outlandish things that would certainly get me arrested, committed, shunned by society or at the very least end with a vicious beating.

snip...
Throwing tantrums: While I don't like my sons' tantrums, I often find myself appreciating how the smallest event will instantly turn into little killing machines -- using every object within reach in an attempt to inflict maximum damage/destruction on whoever and whatever is in their way. It's like they get to be a little 25-pound Hulk for five minutes. I understand why society is better off when we don't behave in this manner, but I'm still envious. Just once, it would be cool to be in the grocery store, find out that the owners don't carry Casa Sanchez chips any more, and then knock over the nearest shopping cart and throw bags of pretzels at random people in a fit of rage.

Running around naked: When I was looking at footage of our kids for my wife's 40th birthday present video, it was clear that my sons are happiest when they're running around naked. One two-minute video featured our then 3-year-old son doing laps in our kitchen, yelling "I'm running in circles!" over and over again. It was a strange experience, because before he was born and I had a lot more free time, I did the exact same thing -- except I substituted the words "I'm streaking" for "I'm running in circles." No one with better options wants to see me without clothes, and I don't really want to be seen. But I also suspect I could capture some serious youthful wonderment in just a few seconds by, say, running the length of a BART train completely naked.

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/parenting/detail?entry_id=58028&plckItemsPerPage=10&plckSort=TimeStampAscending#ixzz0oz9FHQlp


Here are a few reader responses...


eagoldman
2:11 PM on May 25, 2010

When my daughter was 5 she was in the habit of coming into my wife and I bedroom and the middle of the night and asking questions like "Daddy, if the earth is round how come ice on a lake is flat?" Or my favorite. "Daddy, who is Tac ?" Me: "Tac? what is tac". Daughter: "If dog spelled backward is G*D then cat spelled backward is Tac. Who is Tac?"


Ariellas_mami
12:24 PM on May 25, 2010

like bay_area_native my daughter is very inquisitive she asks questions that makes me cringe.
to a cop "sir why are you pulling us over? we're only trying to get to my grandmothers house. Sir, How would you like it if someone did it to you?" The cop laughed and we didn't get a ticket. Imagine if it was my husband who ask that question, it would be quickly followed by, "Get out the car and put your hands on your head."
At a young couple " You have a baby? how come? My mom said you need to be old to have a baby? Are you married?"
Or my favorite " Is that your mom?"
the man responds "no thats my wife."
daughter "Oh she looks like you mom"
Everytime she says anything inappropriate i always tell her that its not ok, but this point in her life she feels if she can ask us anything she can do the same to anyone.


gregory_zephyr
12:59 PM on May 25, 2010

In a restaurant when the kid walked over to the strangers at the next table and said, "That looks good. Can I try some?"



:rofl: