If Fox News existed throughout history...

[Rocknrule]

(that is, before 1996, when it launched)

33 AD: "Liberal Jewish terrorist executed"
1492: "Native Americans great Columbus as liberator, throw flowers"
1773: "Unpatriotic anti-Britain traitors throw tea into harbor"
1861: "O'Reilly: Slavery is essential for a healthy economy, and Mr. Lincoln seems to forget that. He should remember where the cloth for his suits comes from."
1939: "Germany brings democracy to Poland"
1940: "Britain refuses to be part of Germany's Coalition of the Willing,'fish and chips' renamed 'freedom chips'"
1941: "Saddam Hussein launches attack on Pearl Harbor"
1960: "MLK: Muslim Kenyan communist?"
1963: "Negroes attack police, demand special rights"
1970: "Kent State Nat'l Guard fends off violent protesters"
1995: "Patriotic freedom fighter demonstrates peacefully in Oklahoma City on behalf of Waco victims"

What other possible headlines did I leave out?

[iamjoy]

1. 1906: President Roosevelt Destroys Food Industry

that was the year he signed the Pure Food and Drug Act

[Froward69]

4. 1905

President Roosevelt confiscates millions of acres of wilderness for federal government. Calls them "forests and Parks"

[onehandle]

2. 4000 BC: "Rogue God Creates Universe" nt

[Froward69]

3. 2000

president bush wins landmark supreme court decision against unnecessary recount.

1974- supreme court allows baby Holocaust

1999- president Clinton convicted for treasonous Blow job.

2005- Delay wrongly arrested for simply washing money.

1975- Nixon forced to resign for doing his job.

[Lost-in-FL]

5. 1095: Pope Urban II leads peaceful pilgrimage to the Holy Land.

They were also greeted as liberators.

[hobbit709]

6. Here's the Faux precursor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yE1Vm0Ie5WE

[Froward69]

7. Freepers rewriteing histiry ... AGAIN

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2500106/posts

[iamjoy]

17. Wow, Especially on Education

"Then the liberals destroyed our schools and our colleges, dumbing down the curricula and substituting the study of meaningless programs (womens' studies and African-American studies) for an appreciation of the art, literature and science of western culture - and turning public schools into laboratories for social experimentation instead of places of disciplined learning."

From the Renaissance to the twentieth century, universities primarily taught humanities, art, culture, etc. If you wanted to learn a skill, you got an apprenticeship. The poor (and even middle class) did not go to college. The wealthy did not work in skilled craft as it was a sign of being low class to work with your hands. So, the well to do went to college and studied stuff like Latin, Greek, Architecture (not to actually be an architect), Literature, Philosophy etc. Law was also studied through apprenticeships.

[ck4829]

8. Some more

1954: Brown v Board of Education, more liberal judicial activism?
1972: Frank Willis, a security guard, harasses patriotic Americans at the Watergate Hotel
1973: Chile liberated from the iron grip of a Communist leader by freedom fighter named "Pinochet"
1976: Terrorist, Orlando Letelier, killed by patriotic vigilantes in DC
1986: Democrats and liberals sabotage plans to assist freedom fighters in Nicaragua
2005: Poor people and minorities just had to refuse to get out of the way of that hurricane

[EFerrari]

24. 2005 Gretna police defend community from angry mob.

[treestar]

9. ...

1987: Reagan brings down Berlin Wall
1991: Soviet Tyranny Dissolved due to Reagan efforts
1981: Hostages in Iran freed because American now has tough President (Reagan)
1991: President Bush liberates Kuwait
1991: LAPD subdues violent criminal (Rodney King)
1992: Jury acquits police officers who were just doing their job

[Enthusiast]

20. Hey......LOL. nt

[LeftishBrit]

10. Those are great...

How about:

1660: Royalty re-established by Brits outraged by atheist Oliver Cromwell's War on Christmas. ('But he was a Puritan!' 'Makes no difference!')

1788: Terrorist American regime releases Socialist document called 'Constitution'

1857: Attempt to deprive honest working slave-owners of their PROPERTY is beaten back in Supreme Court Dred Scott decision. 'I'm not one of those activist judges!' declares Roger Taney.

1911: Communist British leader David Lloyd George bankrupts nation through National Insurance Act, taxing hard-working families to create health-care public option for so-called poor and welfare benefits for unemployed scroungers.

1928: Britain becomes second-rate nation as vote is extended to all women over 21. UnBiblical Act will result in Socialist victories in all elections.

1948: RUIN OF BRITAIN! Sinister Communist Nye Bevan establishes full-scale Socialized Medicine in formerly allied country. Talking point: 'Did America ally itself with wrong side in the war?' Britain awaits Stalinist takeover.


(Actually I'm sure the RW press did have some headlines not unlike these!)

[needledriver]

11. Richard Nixon (D - California) Resigns in Disgrace

[Lost-in-FL]

13. LOL!! nt

[Enthusiast]

21. LOL! (D - California) nt

[alfredo]

12. Ungrateful children slander Catholic priesthood.

[Froward69]

14. oh oh more From the fox historical archives

1939- Hitler and Stalin Liberate Poland.

1940- Hitler liberates France

1946- economy doing fine in spite of FDR forced socialist programs.

1945- the US drops peace Weapon on Nagasaki and Hiroshima

1976- socialist Carter Pardons commie draft dodgers forms personal army.
on edit/

1959- Ike suffering from post heart attack dementia makes up phrase, "industrial military complex"

1963- Patriot Lee Harvey Oswald shoots and kills Communist president Kennedy

[Lost-in-FL]

15. 1945: First Atomic bomb dropped in the city of Hiroshima, Japan

When asked about the devastation of Hiroshima and Nagazaki, someone asking not to be identified stated “I don’t think anybody could have anticipated the breach…errr… the devastation in Hiroshima”.

[Rocknrule]

16. Edit:

1941: "Saddam Hussein launches attack on Pearl Harbor, Clinton's sexual misconduct to blame?"

[backscatter712]

18. Don't forget the images...

[unblock]

19. mlk: musliN LIBERAL kenyan!

:rofl:

[Enthusiast]

22. LOL!

[lovemydog]

23. 1929: Liberal Overregulation Causes Bank Failures

[athenasatanjesus]

25. 2132

2132 How did the leftist policies of the 21st century prevent the serious climate change regulations that were needed to prevent many of today's climate problems?

[DFW]

26. This is fun! Here are some more of Fox Throughout History

More Fox Noise exclusives throughout history:

1066: French stymied at Hastings, English regrouping

1588: Spanish Armada triumphant against England, returns home to Spain to celebrate, leaves England to limp back to port.

1649: London, Jan. 30, King Charles I of England called long-haired hippy by English conservatives, taken to a barber.

1732: Feb. 22, Virginia, Augstine and Mary Washington have yet ANOTHER child, threatening Virginia colony with overpopulation.

1776: Colonial hippies stage "tribal" fest in Philadelphia, sign some meaningless document condoning secession from the crown.

1861: Freedom-Loving states throw off the yoke of Northern Socialist tyranny, declare CSA, appoint Sarah Palin as VP.

1865: Northern terrorists restore yoke of tyranny on former CSA, banish VP Palin to Alaska, 148 years into future.

1881: President Garfield tests bullet-proof vest, says, "needs a few minor improvements."

1914: England, Montenegro, France, Austria-Hungary and Germany threaten to declare war if not immediately told where Sarajevo is.

1917: Liberals use Diebold machine to take over Russia!

1932: Liberals use Diebold machines to take over USA!

1933: Hitler declared Chancellor of Germany, despite claimed Austrian origins. Arizona governor demands a German birth certificate.

1936: Alf Landon wins (Maine and Vermont) in presidential race!! Comes in second in the rest, Fox analysts say still too close to call.

1945: Bomb used on Hiroshima accused of light pollutant residue by fanatic environmentalists, who provide no evidence.

1954: Sen. Joe McCarthy, D-Wisconsin, unjustly censured by Senate for not catching enough Communists

1961: Cuba almost taken back from Communists at Bay of Pigs!

1974: August 9, Republican Gerald Ford retains White House for GOP in a special election

We gotta send this thread to Jon Stewart!!!