Me email response to my Republican Father

[Buddyblazon]

Back story:

Love my Father to death. But about two years ago I requested from him that we not discuss politics anymore. So he started CCing me in emails that go around in his circle of Republican friends. I've asked him at least a dozen times not to send them to anymore. I asked him again last week. The last couple of days I've received about 20 republican emails from him.

So...seeing as he and most of the people in this "circle" of theirs are retired military...I've decided to use the tried and true military approach:

Punish the group for an individuals indiscretions.

Without further ado:

Dad,

This...is what will happen if you continue sending me this crap:

“Reply All”

Replace the names below, and realize this kind of shit has been going on for decades. Where the fuck have you all been?

BTW...my Father has been passive aggressively forwarding this crap to me for years. I’ve asked repeatedly (it’s been like dealing with Rainman) to stop sending me this stuff. Literally years now. So I figured if I starting “reply all” that perhaps you all would tire of me at an exponentially faster rate and put the pressure on him to stop including me in chain emails.

I hope it all makes you feel very uncomfortable, you call up my Dad...and tell him to stop filling up my inbox with this shit? You think you can all do that for me?

Thanks,

XXXX’s son...XXX




I feel kind of bad. All of his friends are always polite to me. I, however, in recent years have become a stage manager at a major venue. And the one thing that the position has changed in me is the almost complete deletion of my inner filter. At work, I have to think of the most uncomfortable thing that I don't want to say...and say it. Many times I have to put an asshole on tour in his place, and that means saying what everybody is thinking, but no one wants to say... and say it to said asshole in front of everybody. I'm worried that my whole approach to life is changing...because now I'm doing it outside of work.

Am I wrong? Have I become the asshole?

[Buddyblazon]

1. First reply from one of my Father friends

XXX, when are you going to grow up? Shame on you, you little foul mouthed bum!

[CurtEastPoint]

2. Reply all again: "FUCK OFF!" n/t

[Buddyblazon]

3. Hehe

:)

[sharp_stick]

8. Well put

Concise, to the point, leaves little room for doubt. Very nice reply.

[ceile]

4. Classic.

Typical response, wouldn't you say?

[uppityperson]

5. Reply all "the only thing you see wrong is cussing? Shame on you".

[gratuitous]

9. Reply to Dad's Friend

"I apologize if my language offended your delicate sensibilities. However, the courteous approach has not worked. It hasn't worked for years. I figured I'd try another approach, since it's the very definition of insanity to keep doing the same thing over and over again hoping for a different result. Sort of like using violence to end violence, you know?"

[Maru Kitteh]

21. Define "bum" you Socialist Security/Medicare having freeloader!

[Warpy]

6. Silence = tacit agreement

so you're not wrong to speak up. Doing so unpleasantly is generally wrong, but understandable if a right wing ranter is using you for his political punching bag.

That's pretty much what your father is doing, too. Tell him you've had enough, and that you're putting him on block temporarily. Your phone is available or he can spend money on a stamp if he wants to talk and not rant, or even if he wants to print his stupid emails out and make sure you get them. My guess is that it will get old after a week or so and you'll be off the hook even if he mails them to you.

Once your name is off the round robin mail list, you can safely take him off block, but tell him he'll be blocked again if you find a single right wing email in your inbox. Then do it for double the time.

I'd suggest two weeks the first time, it's usually enough to get your name off any mass email list.

People can do this only with our permission. It's time to deny him yours.

[TlalocW]

7. I've found that nothing gets stuff being forwarded to me than the truth

So many of my republican relatives send out crap like your father, and it's soooo easily disproved or argued against, and I would do it in such a sarcastic "you-have-to-be-a-complete-moron-to-believe-this" way, that they stopped forwarding me their stuff.

So Mom would send me the stuff she kept getting and ask me to debunk it, and I would do the same thing, adding something about, "Mom wanted me to take a look at this for her." So they stopped sending crap to mom. :)

TlalocW

[DCKit]

14. Agreed. It's best to debunk.

I'm getting very few of those emails since I told some family members (in a similar "reply all" scenario) to start checking with Snopes before passing along their insane RW garbage. Just because it's on the Internets doesn't mean it's true.

When all else fails, derision (for believing the crap they pass along) usually works too.

However, my recent approach has been to attempt to redirect their anger to more useful subjects:

"Why are you bothering with this petty crap when the banksters and Wall St. crowd are still walking free, not paying their share of taxes and still up to the same exact criminal behavior we'll be paying for over generations to come?"

[Arkansas Granny]

17. I started repllying with the Snopes link showing that they were false.

I get very few of the rw chain mails nowadays.

[hypocrisyandlies]

10. Nice job!

I say you should start pointing out the bullshit in all of the emails he sends, and use that lovely "reply all" feature.

[Buddyblazon]

11. The funny thing about the email from his friend that called me a bum..

his son (also a Republican) has been in and out of homelessness and prison for 20+ years. The "emailer" is also just out of his third marriage.

Me? I work a modest little job. Own a modest little home. On my first marriage...and I have never had a single run in with the law my entire life.

[CrispyQ]

12. My right wing mother did that to me back in '04.

So I created a rule in Outlook that sent all her emails to the delete bin without reading. After a couple of weeks I totally forgot about it. One day about six weeks later, she actually called me on the phone. She was pissed! "Are you ever going to respond?" she asked me angrily.

"Respond? To what?" I asked innocently.

"To my email about the wedding." Then I remembered the rule I had set & I started laughing. I told her what I had done & she was even more pissed & I couldn't stop laughing, which made her even more pissed. ~lol.

I told her, "If you're going to act like a juvenile you're going to get treated like one. We agreed no more political emails & you reneged." It created a rift for a few weeks, but it cured her - no more right wing emails!

[Psephos]

23. CrispyQ has the best way to deal with it. n/t

[BlueGirlRedState]

13. Same problem here

I have asked my dad repeatedly not to send me stuff. At one particularly racist anti-Obama email, I picked up the phone and told him not to send me this "fucking crap." You have to understand that those words are not used in my parents' home (but racism is OK, at least with my dad...)and there was stunned silence on the other end of the phone.

One time I did like you suggested and emailed to everyone in the chain and got a nasty email from my batshit-crazy cousin that snopes.com is a liberal organization, yada yada yada and we're all gonna die....

I have heard from at least two people in my father regular distribution list that would rather he didn't send those emails but they "didn't want to hurt his feelings."

[salguine]

15. I've never seen this response fail: What you do is, tell him that for every one of

these e-mails he sends you, you're going to donate $20 to the ACLU in his name. If he thinks you're bluffing, go ahead and do it. The first time he gets a "thank you" postcard from the ACLU, you'll never get another e-mail again. Trust me on this one.

[Buddyblazon]

16. If we weren't hanging on by a thread financially right now...

I would definitely do that. And I most likely will as soon as work picks up. Thanks for the idea.

[Maru Kitteh]

25. Or Planned Parenthood, or PETA, or ACORN. Whatever pushes the button best. Great idea!

[maxsolomon]

18. there's no reasoning with RW relatives

i remember going off on GWB after 9/11 in response to a similar AOL RW email chain praising his incompetence and calling liberals traitors, and my parents couldn't believe the language. my never-worked-a-day-in-her-life aunt thinks i'm "nasty" for calling BS on FoxNews, or taking Hannity or Beck out of context.

my dad still sends my the occasional "funny" email whingeing about taxes or big government or how hee-larious the birth certificate issue is. after 8 years of bush, my tolerance level is ZERO, and i still don't think conservatives can fathom how angry we are.

they're in a little privileged, conservative Cincinnati German-Catholic bubble, and i fought my way out of there and won't ever go back.

[Ineeda]

19. I did virtually the same thing

reply all - called it RW crap, included the Snopes link debunking the particular meme. Lost one friend and one acquaintance -- no big loss. But it made my day once when I got a genuine thank you from a perfect stranger who was on the 'reply all' list.

[DesertFlower]

20. you might want to consider

blocking e-mails from your dad.

[grantcart]

22. OK heres the problem: You are asking people at DU on how to deal with your family

I can't see how this is going to have a good outcome lol.

When I was a teenager = 40 years ago I got tired of my Dad's far right wing clap trap, even though he was a really wonderful man and human being.

I read everything about politics and it was easy for me to overwhelm him.

So one day I had enough and eventually got him to say that he supported "Better Red than Dead".

Since he already had said that Socialized medicine was Communism I looked at him and told him that I supported socialized medicine like the UK.

"Now that you equate my belief that universal access to basic medical care is a moral issue and that because of that I am in your eyes a Communist and that you believe that it is better to kill a communist than to let them live will you be visiting me in my sleep with a pillow".


We didn't have any political discussions after that and a year later he died in a drowning accident.

So your email is fine but my suggestion is that you put your self in your Dad's shoes and imagine what you could do for him that would really make his day brighten. Maybe its just lunch or bowling or helping him paint his house.

You have the power to brigthen up your Dad's life. Stick to your principles, make it clear and then brighten up his day.

[Maru Kitteh]

26. I miss my dad too.

I know we would disagree vehemently on politics, but I'd give anything to have him here to watch a movie with, make some pancakes, talk about the weather and spring planting.

:cry:

[Buddyblazon]

27. Grantcart...

I love my Father very much. And he's stopped talking politics with me on the phone and when we're together.

He has, however, become passive aggressive with his politics in regards to me. When I go to his house for Thanksgiving...he and his Republican friends make sure that they talk politics while sitting right next to me. And I know they're doing it to get a rise out of me. I always just button my lip and let them take potshots without saying a word.

We do actually have a pretty good Father/Son relationship. I brighten his day constantly. He has no problems bad mouthing Democrats with his buddies. But if one of them steps over the line and bad mouths me...Dad can get very confrontational in his defense of me. His side of the family is very big on the importance of family.

So while we are all together, I may be the lefty in the family. But I know when the rubber meets the road, they'll defend me from anybody who is not family. Amazingly, we all really like being together. But that's because the rest of them know that family is more important than politics and they don't even bring that stuff up around me. We just have a good time together and focus on the things that we all agree on...and that's family.

I love my Irish family.

[Tailormyst]

24. Honestly, you probably just made things much worse.

If I were you I would block your father and everyone on the list for a while as things are bound to get nasty. Also I would tell your father "I love you but I won't be accepting emails from you anymore. We can keep in touch face to face or over the phone"

Look: family is important. life is short. ask anyone here who has lost a parent. Forget politics for a day and take your father to lunch.

[Buddyblazon]

28. Read my above post.

And you're correct. The shitstorm is a comin'. I knew that when I wrote it.