HUMMER IS DEAD! Schadenfreude runs rampant!

[CLANG]

Rec is you are happy to see this monstrosity go the way of the dinosaur!

[Warpy]

1. I have never seen anything so aggressively ugly produced

by any car manufacturer and I hope I never see it again. It was overweight, unwieldy, and a total pain in the ass to drive if friends who test drove one are to be believed. They were rolling eyesores, attractive only to the type of person who wanted to dominate everyone else on the road through sheer size and weight.

I suppose the ones out there will be kept as cherished collector's items. I would prefer to see them crushed. Hell, I'd pay to see it.

[HopeHoops]

10. Well, that tissue box on wheels that Honda makes comes pretty close in the ugly department.

It looks like Horris and Jasper from 101 Dalmations should be in it.

Still, the Hummer is fucking ugly. I'm doing a happy dance with the news of its death.

[heliarc]

94. You mean the Element right?

The element has more cargo space and a better gas mileage than the Hummer by 10 MPG...

beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

[southpaw]

121. Dude. Don't ponce my ride!

The Element rocks ;-)

[HopeHoops]

128. Well maybe it does, but it is still ugly.

[kaiden]

135. Our Element truly rocks!

Great in snow and can haul a bunch of goats standing up in the back like a litter of golden retrievers! Goat poop in the door handle? No problemo!

[Kablooie]

25. Of course it was designed to be military equipment where aesthetics are a low priority.

[AtheistCrusader]

58. Actually the H3 is just a Chevy Colorado with an ugly body bolted on.

Same platform. Colorado, Isuzu-D, Rodeo, and GMC Canyon.

It's what GM classified as a 'light pickup', which is why it's huge, aggressive appearance is so successfully misleading.

I agree it's overweight and unwieldy, but it's interesting to me you seem to think it's one of the worst things produced. The Suburban is larger and heavier. The H3 is only 300lbs heavier than the GMC Envoy.

[Warpy]

84. I agree about the Suburban

but it lacked the in-your-face aggressive ugliness of the Hummer. I actually enjoy the Suburbans and Explorers around here, next to me at the gas pump and ticking over $75.00 as I drive away having to squeeze the last few drops of a $20.00 fill into my car.

I have noticed that most of the temporary tags I've been seeing over the last 2 years have been on sedans, not big, ugly SUVs. Slowly but surely, those things are being shed in favor of something more appropriate.

[cherokeeprogressive]

101. Where I live, in the land of $3.00 gas, if you're only spending $20 to fill your tank that means it

only holds 6.7 gallons. What car only has a 7 gallon gas tank? Do you drive a golf cart?

[Lars77]

105. I live in the land of 10 USD/gallon.. and even here some morons drive hummers nt

[Dr.Phool]

108. I've got a deadly Prius, with an 11.5 gallon tank.

I fill it once a month. And it's never taken $30.00.

Better mileage than my Harley-Davidson.

[mwb970]

111. Hey, I fill my Ford Focus tank for less than $15 every time.

A local grocery store gives 20 cents per gallon off gas at associated gas stations for each $50 I spend at the store. By the time I need gas, I'm usually down to about $1.25 or $1.50 per gallon.

As an extra bonus, the gas purchases contribute to discounts on food back at the grocery store. Sweet! And yes, I love to watch the SUV balloon-car owners who are pumping when I arrive and still pumping when I leave. Even with discounts, that's a lot of money to blow out the exhaust pipe.

[vadawg]

119. yup but it also depends where you live, you ford focus would be no use in a lot of rural areas

frinstance the closest ive been able to get to my house even with chains and 4wd is 600 feet or so apart from a couple of days since dec 19th storm, luckily my mother in law in her prius hasnt been able to visit all that time either, so yeah i might only get 15 mpg but if i got 34 mpg then i would also have a long walk. For me i can afford to pay the extra due to what i save by living in the middle of no where and i think its a good trade off..

[Warpy]

134. If I look for it, gas is just under $2.50 here

and I fill when it's just under a quarter tank.

I drive a 4 chipmunk Kia.

[heliarc]

95. And the H3...

has less cargo space than the other vehicles in it's class... meh.

[shintao]

65. I rented one for a few days.

I rented a Hummer while my car was in the shop, and went up state with it to gamble. It really is a piece of crap and it changed my mind from wanting one. Many of the components like wheel covers & gas tank lid are plastic!! The back seat wouldn't move to allow more foot room. The front seat was uncomfortable. It rode like a military 5 ton, and used tons of gasoline with moderate driving habits on the freeway.

It kind of hit me of crawling into one of those 70+ boxed shaped Porche's, lots of plastic with VW emblems stuck all over. Junk!

[DissedByBush]

98. The original had a purpose

Who cares about looks. It was criteria for power, clearance, off-road performance and other utility measures from the military for its design.

It's ugly as all hell but it does its job very well.

For example, I could run through water at high speed and still be able to hit my brakes and stop, because the brakes are tucked inside the chassis. I could drive on a side slope that would tip over other vehicles. I could drive in thigh-deep wet clay mud that would have stuck anything else I've ever driven.

All the things that made the original HMMWV great are missing in the H2 and H3.

All they did was copy the ugly onto standard drivetrains.

Check out this video and think if one of these suburban eyesores could do it:

http://www.vidchili.com/video/I2tJWhXSWtM/Humvee_vs_Jeep/

[saltpoint]

2. I never got past the notion that it was not an automobile driving

down the road but its owners' obnoxious egos.

[catbyte]

4. Perfect, Saltpoint, absolutely perfect!

:rofl:

[saltpoint]

12. -- --

:hi:

[blondeatlast]

21. Exactly. I just used to point and giggleto be obnoxious. nt

[JuniperLea]

44. I always frowned and waved my little finger...

Like, oh, so sad your size matters!

[BBG]

83. Hummer Salute!

The pinky wave is what I call the Hummer Salute. And I make a point of greeting all vehicles of that ilk with the Salute. The wife says I should refrain when driving her Beetle but I say hell, they earned it!

I am still a bit peeved that one of the petroleum companies mounted an ad campaign using the Hummer Salute to recognize 'courteous' driving. But then it is oil company and their ad campaign. It still fits.

[zbdent]

26. since it obviously was not designed to cut down on wind drag or for fuel economy, why not

design it to be what it really is?

A giant phallic symbol ... design it as a giant penis ... which, actually, would be more aerodynamic than the Hummer ever was ... well, except for the testicles, but then you have the huge tires on the Hummer ...

[AlbertCat]

92. A giant phallic symbol

Teabaggers in a Hummer..... the mind reels!


(They don't know what a "hummer" is either!)

[saltpoint]

116. It likely occurred to the initial cadre of engineers.

Certainly it would have occurred to the marketers.

[CrispyQ]

31. Obnoxious doesn't begin to describe them:

:puke:

[saltpoint]

118. Yep. But hey, our warm, affirming friendship with Saudi Arabia is

worth driving 7 mpg cars on our nation's roads.

[mitchum]

33. Mrs mitchum always yelled to Hummer drivers, "Sorry about your dick!"

[FiveGoodMen]

40. I always use them to test telekinesis

I try to blow up their gas tank with my mind.

So far, no luck.

Telekinesis might just be bunk.

[BrklynLiberal]

90. ROTFLMAO! I will join your experiment and report if I am ever successful!!

[comtec]

106. Especially since what you want is PYROkenesis n/t =]

:)

[FiveGoodMen]

136. Maybe now it will work!

:evilgrin:

[JuniperLea]

45. I waved my little finger...

And frowned in sympathy:)

[Maru Kitteh]

59. She's my hero then. I always wanted to do that.

[Hawkeye-X]

46. +infinity

no doubt, old salt, no doubt :)

[saltpoint]

120. hey there.

:toast:

[paulkienitz]

51. fitting...

seeing as it was Ahnuld who was the #1 popularizer of civilian Hummer driving.

[saltpoint]

117. They should probably have contracted Schwartzenegger to

do their ads.

A clueless body builder pimping a bombastic machine.

[PSzymeczek]

78. The phallusmobile

for Mr. Inadequate.

[Mad_Dem_X]

126. Yep. It was a status symbol

"Look at me! I'm important!"

[Name removed]

3. Deleted message

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Triana]

5. Yeehaaaw! The biggest penis on wheels ever invented is a goner

Best news I've seen today.

[KayLaw]

6. I have a question.

What does this mean to Hummer owners? We have friends who bought one a year or so ago.

[CLANG]

8. Good question - unfortunately I have no idea...

[mdmc]

9. They will drive ugly cars

:shrug:

[KharmaTrain]

14. It'll Become A Collector's Item...

Nothing increases value like having a model discontinued. It may take 10 or 20 years but in due time some auto museum may be interested in putting it on display...next to the Edsel and Yugo.

Ironic, I saw a Hummer trying to negotiate down a snowy street the other day...the driver had no clue how to handle that tank and skidded into a ditch. Dare I say I snickered as I went driving by.

[TheCowsCameHome]

125. More like a freak in a carnival side-show

People will come to see an oddity.

[Warpy]

24. GM has to supply parts and service for the warranty period

so they're all set for a while.

Besides, look at the Edsel. A few people loved them, garaged them, and hung onto them, taking them out only on sunny and special occasions. It's a collector's item with clubs and everything and parts haven't been available for decades.

[Hawkeye-X]

47. GM said they will continue to support Hummer for maintenance

but that's about as far they'll go.

[eecumings]

87. Orphans

is the proper term for discontinued rigs. Owners will have to depend on after-market companies for spare parts.

[dixiegrrrrl]

7. I was amazed that no one seemed to be fazed by the name of the thing.

[hay rick]

91. Name derived from its military antecedent.

The Humvee aka HHMWV aka High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle. Sexy no, obscene yes.

[DissedByBush]

124. Except the military pronounced it "Humvee"

I never heard "Hummer."

[TheCowsCameHome]

127. I know. SurrogateDick sounded too awkward.

[The2ndWheel]

11. Just a result of cheap energy

Hummers were/are a symptom, not a cause.

[Pharaoh]

13. Works for me

K&R

[old mark]

15. I know only very few people who own one. Without exception thay are

uber-assholes, mostly into cocaine and ego stroking at all cost.
Good riddance - I hope the resale valus tanks.

rec.
mark

[Hawkeye-X]

48. Resale value is already at zero

Used car dealers aren't buying Hummers.

So they're better off scrapping it for $15 in scrap metal.

[CLANG]

75. Man, you cracked me up!

$15 in scrap metal.:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[old mark]

132. Several years ago when gas went over $3 a gallon, I saw a nearly new Cadillac Escalade SUV

sitting on a used car lot. It remained there for almost 1 1/2 years, and got pretty cheap at the end.
I have no idea what they paid the first owner for it, or how much he still owed on it, but I think he really took a bath.

mark

[CLANG]

16. Kicking for Schadenfreude !

[Altoid_Cyclist]

17. For some reason, a friend of mine who owns one was offended that I found this to be humorous.

[CLANG]

19. ROFL!

[Stephanie]

69. That's hilarious. nt

[Romulox]

18. Toyota FJ, Nissan Armada, Honda Pilot still ride... nt

[spoony]

37. Strange, isn't it?

I've been asking people what their feelings are for these other large vehicles, but their glee seems entirely reserved for this "symbol of American excess"--not that I ever expect thoughtfulness or consistency from the usual suspects.

[Iggo]

20. Unrec for the lamest kind of thread on DU: The "Rec this thread if..," thread.

[CLANG]

22. Thanks for the Kick anyway! Unrecs are pretty lame too!

[Iggo]

23. Too.

[lapislzi]

27. I always give Hummer drivers a cheerful wave

and a shout out: "sorry about your penis, dude!"

[CLANG]

30. And sorry they have to wait for the girl to stop laughing

before they can get any (a very little bit of any).:rofl:

[salguine]

28. I have said, for the longest time, that if anyone ever asked me to

name one inanimate object that singlehandedly encapsulated everything that is wrong with American culture, the Hummer would be it.

[callous taoboy]

34. And it came out during one of the most grotesque periods in history, I might add.

[AlbertCat]

99. encapsulated everything that is wrong with American culture,

Besides, conspicuous consumption is just plain tacky these tough days.

[Toasterlad]

29. There Is Nothing Shameful About My Joy At This News.

[Freddie Stubbs]

32. This will hit the union auto workers who build Hummers the most

Enjoy your schadenfreude!

[CLANG]

36. Yet it will have a positive impact on the environment

and a depressing effect on the little dicks that drive them. There are trade-offs to everything!

[spoony]

38. So you think these drivers are going to go from a Hummer to...a subcompact?

Plenty of big, big vehicles out there.

[CLANG]

39. Gonna be hard to find anything less than 7mpg!

[liberation]

50. .... so now you are concerned about union jobs?

When they no longer can produce penile replacement machinery.... LOL

[RainDog]

64. the u.s. auto industry was stupid for years

pandering to the dickless wonders in the U.S. with gas guzzlers, hummers, suvs...

so, sorry. while I do regret the loss of jobs for union members, the execs in the auto industry played up gas guzzlers and for that, I flip them the bird... their policies hurt the auto industry.

[comtec]

115. why would union jobs be affected? The lines will be used to make more useful things

As someone noted up thread, these monstrosities, now, are just different "tops" bolted onto a truck bottom.
New top (or rather the original truck top) and poof, lines, with, I imagine, very little re-tooling needed.

Think of off the steel that will be saved, if they completely re-tool for compact, or at least for higher-mileage cars?

[BlancheSplanchnik]

35. .

tip o' the hat to DUer canetoad!

[Uncle Joe]

41. Kicked and recommended, It's about time.

Thanks for the thread, CLANG.:thumbsup:

[CLANG]

42. You're welcome! I just couldn't resist!!!!

:toast: :fistbump:

[Uncle Joe]

43. Cheers!

:toast: :fistbump:

[formercia]

49. A 20 Mule Team Hummer.

as a tribute to Ronnie RayGun.

[twitomy]

52. Wow lotta talk about little penie here..

must be projection or sumthin..

But I usually see women driving them, so I guess the lack of penis compensation thing may be correct.

[Blue-Jay]

54. Sorry about your penis.

[Hekate]

53. Schadenfreude Dance!!!!!11!! Damn I hate those monstrosities. In-your-face BushCheney...

... "Good-to-the-last-drop of oil on the planet" gas-guzzlers. :grr:

Hekate

[DainBramaged]

55. Hypocrites

Armada:14 MPG

Titan: 15 MPG

Land Cruiser: 13/18

Sequoia: 14/19


Shameful how Anti-American so many of you are.

AND THE WORST IN AMERICA:

2010 Mercedes-Benz ML63 AMG 11/15 12 combined

[taterguy]

60. My bike is fueled by food, most of which is made in America

Where does the fuel for "American" made cars come from?

Do you really want to get into a Patriotism pissing contest?

Isn't choosing automobiles as the primary mode of transportation one of the dumbest decisions America ever made? Since there are far more efficient alternatives.

[DainBramaged]

62. When you drive a car, join in the argument, until then

Merry Christmas

:puke:

[taterguy]

66. Your post was that some transportation choices are "anti-American"

Defend your position that relying on cars for transportation is what's best for America.

[DainBramaged]

Defend this, I have no interest in discussing shit with you.

[taterguy]

68. What's "shit" about what I posted?

Please enlighten me.

[Divine Discontent]

100. you're wasting your time.

[taterguy]

109. I got time to waste

[Autonomy]

96. I believe the topic was 'car choices'

but whatever, have at it.

[taterguy]

137. I'm sure that lots of people who don't drive are celebrating the demise of Hummer

So, yes, I'll have at it.

[Art_from_Ark]

72. Speaking for myself

I'd like to see all those gas guzzlers bite the dust as well

[snooper2]

129. And you know what, they wouldn't take a second look at my truck..

saying "what an asshole in his gas-guzzler"....

03 Dodge Dakota...I average 13.8-14 mpg...

[swilton]

56. Good for the environment and good for jobs!

[donco6]

57. Count me in.

you can fucking look it up. Hated it from day one.

[RainDog]

61. I used to drive by people in hummers and flip birds at them

just for fun.

cause what a stupid fuck you must be to drive a hummer when troops are fighting a war for oil.

why not just drain the blood of children and use it to run your car?

[wial]

70. actually there's an entire website devoted to just that

which you can find by googling "flip off a hummer".

I always wondered what was more important to hummer drivers: celebrating the American aggression and subterfuge in the first Persian Gulf War, or Monica Lewinsky's blow job. Could it have been bi-partisan grossness?

ah militarism and sexuality. When will they ever learn? When will they ever learn?

[Canuckistanian]

63. I got my violin ready

Any requests?

[Stephanie]

67. Once as I passed by an asshat lounging in his Hummer on 7th Ave, I muttered, "That's an ugly car"

Asshat jumps out of his monstrous penis-substitute fuming and sputters at me as I keep walking up the street, "You need to get your roots done!" I was like, really? That's the best you could come up with? That didn't even hurt my feelings! Like I know I hurt yours when I dissed your big fat ugly POS car.

[dysfunctional press]

71. and Snaab can't be far behind.

rust in peace. :hi:

[Fredfon]

73. Great News

If you're driving a hummer in the desert-THANK YOU!
If you're driving a hummer to the mall-FUCK YOU!!

[HBravo]

74. Good bye and good riddance

Love the penis jokes but I have seen more woman in Hummers than men.

[Art_from_Ark]

93. The penis jokes get to be very old and stale

Listening to all the stupid "penis compensation" jokes, one would get the impression that all of those athletic jocks from high school are now driving Mini Coopers

[onehandle]

76. WTF! How am I going to compensate for my small penis now?

Hmm. I have a Porsche... A trophy wife... Hair plugs...

What else can I get to make up for my long steel shortcomings?

Hmm...

[austin78704]

85. The Tea Bag party. nt

[Kievan Rus]

77. Ding dong, the wicked car is dead!

[varelse]

79. I'm only recc'in this because the replies I've read so far

had me laughing out loud. I'm only posting in it so I can find it again :rofl:

[TrollBuster9090]

80. Not as dead as the EV1 was, and still is!

Yeah it's dead. Only 20 years and an oil war too late.

[Stand and Fight]

81. And too long it took.

Glad that no more of those idiotic monstrosities will be made. Good riddance.

[Jack Rabbit]

82. K/R with musical interlude

Please click
here.

[PatrynXX]

86. The H1 was just fine, H2 onwards was pointless.

However I'd just read Hummer wasn't dead yet that they were still looking for buyers.

[flvegan]

88. This thread is hilarious.

Is the Hummer line of cars shit? Yeah, but only because of it's grasping at military toughness and pseudo-offensiveness of wanna-be "soldiers" rolling in them in the safety our borders provide. So, it's as lame as putting a bodykit on a Fiero to make it look like a Ferrari or Lambo. Otherwise, it's really just a modified Tahoe/Yukon which also gets shitty mileage.

What's funny are some of the environmental cheerleaders cheering the demise of Hummer while they dine on factory farmed meat. I'll take a vegetarian in an H2 over some CAFO carnivore in a Prius any day.

Is Hummer's demise a step forward for the environment? I suppose. It's just funny to read the responses from grave dancers doing far worse to our planet.

[BrklynLiberal]

89. My favorite Haiku is about the Hummer

Haiku by Tim

Hulking black Hummer
Purchased in rank atonement
small peckered driver

Some other inspired things here..
http://www.fuh2.com/inspiredworks.php

[Autonomy]

97. I never would have thought that a thread about the Hummer

would produce replies of the most sanctimonious, judgmental liberal stereotypes I've ever seen on this website.

You never know what you're gonna get on this site, and that keeps it interesting.

[cherokeeprogressive]

102. I disagree. There are certain times you know EXACTLY what you'll get here.

In the case of the Hummer, it's the obsession with penises and their size. Never fails. Find me a thread about Hummers that doesn't include posts about penises and their sizes and I'll show you a thread that was started after the witching hour and disappeared below the fold before the morning crew came online.

[Autonomy]

103. LOL Well, I must admit

I was a Hummer-thread virgin before tonight. I had a really good time, though. Let's do it again sometime.

[snooper2]

130. maybe we can have boob job Nissan Muranos

:evilgrin: :rofl:

[DainBramaged]

110. Makes me disgusted with all of these so-called 'purer than thou' types

But don't tell them you believe in soda for the poor, cigarettes for everyone, or Olivie Garden for dinner, they'll crucify you.

All hypocrites.

[CLANG]

113. I'd be willing to bet you drive a Hummer!

:popcorn:

[DainBramaged]

133. Cobalt SS

It's the hypocrisy and bullshit attitudes here on DU. Knock the Domestics, defend the japanese. Bullshit.

[Loudmxr]

104. Hummer ist tot?

Ich liebe meinen Hummer!! Nein! Nein! Alle habe ich das Bleiben ist f**king Volkswagen!!

[MonkeyMama]

107. Good riddance.

I used to drive a Mini Cooper... A few years ago, I had gone to visit my Dad and his right-wing-nut-job brother in law was there. He thought my little car was comical. He asked, "Do you ever drive past Hummers?" I said, "Yes, I drive past them at gas stations all the time." Ignorant man. I had made the 400 mile road trip to my Dad's house on a single tank of gas. Besides that, my Mini was super fast! Great little car.

[vadawg]

112. yup i like minis, my friend drives one, only problem is in order to get to my house she needs to

leave it at the gas station and have me drive down in my gas guzzler 4wd and pick her up, same with my mother in law and her prius. Small vehicles suit some peoples lifestyles, some of us need a bigger vehicle whether its hauling stuff, off roading/bad roads to get home, or having to go into rough areas in order to look for people.

[LittleGirl]

114. Ugliest. Vehicle. Ever.

But I can't say I'm sorry to see it go. That's my hometown...(where it's built) and many of my home town fellows and their families were employed there. Arnold came to town to promote it when it first hit the market. Many small businesses have closed that made parts for that vehicle. It's a domino effect. Sad really.

[CLANG]

122. Thank you all for participating in the Schadenfreude !!

[TheCowsCameHome]

123. They were as ugly as Brinks trucks.

[era veteran]

131. I always wave

My middle finger. Last December I saw 4 yuppie larvae pushing one into a gas station. I experienced a schadenfreude moment that was almost too good.