The End of Innocence ? (Not Political ) But not good ...

[SlingBlade]

to say the least.

I’m posting this in hopes that somebody, Anybody out there can give me a clue
as to what should be done with a very sorry and dysfunctional family.

I'm a relative of two boy’s, ages five and ten who are now experiencing something
that many of us have gone through, The devastating divorce of their parents.
But this isn't the point of my post, The point is not easy to come to, But come to it must.

Shortly after the divorce was announced, And not a second too soon in my personal opinion,
It was revealed that the older boy who at the time was around six or seven was dabbling in some pretty
adult like sexual situations and also asking some very in depth sexual oriented questions.
Unfortunately nobody responsible enough existed in his life to ask some hard questions or to even suggest some counseling.

Next up we hear that the mother was pretty lax if not provocative in her dress undress and bathing habits with the boy’s.
Then came revelations of what some long suspected, Molestation.

Turns out the older boy was being schooled by another relative close to his own age in the sexual how to department and of course he was caught passing it along to his buddies, Both verbally and otherwise, First under the radar, Then openly and without hesitation evidently.

He refuses to sleep in his own bed and is also a bully whose been reprimanded countless number of times for hurting those smaller and younger than himself, Boys and girls, Eventually one victim had to go to the hospital but unfortunately and once again the authorities were not alerted so it all slipped through the cracks.

That continues.....

Some of the sexual stuff has come out, Police were involved for a while but then it all went away.
Now I hear that the younger of the two, The five year old is also displaying some of the older boys earlier and ongoing behaviors., Masturbating in public, That sort of thing.What little counseling they’ve had has been sporadic and pretty much useless.
It really angered me when I heard how it was all swept under the rug mainly in ,y opinion due to a lack of money and decent insurance coverage.

Most all of this came to my knowledge just recently, And I’m just lost as to what can be done. So many people have let these kids down, Family, Police, Schools, Church, etc.Even The Courts as due to revelations in the divorce, So they are also aware as well.
Please don't make assumptions about this family, They are by most standards, Upper Middle Class and well educated as if that would matter.

Yet it continues ....

It is, The End of Innocence,
For those children for me for all involved I'm afraid.

What’s a person to do, What do we do ?????????

*Note: I’m not sure Where this should be posted, I'm not even sure if it Should be posted.
I’ll leave that up to the powers that be. But I need advice. Please.

[supernova]

1. The boys need counseling

at the very least.

Perhaps the school guidance counselor can guide them to the appropriate community resources.

Are the parents not interested in getting help? It sounds like they all need it.

[SlingBlade]

3. They've had counseling, Both court ordered and through

school. Nothing !

[supernova]

4. I wouldn't say nothing

counseling takes years, not months or weeks.

Are they still in contact with the people who abused them?

[SlingBlade]

7. To a degree yea, But I'm not sure how far it goes

[supernova]

8. Look you sound concerned

and I applaud that, but it sounds like you don't have a lot of say so about caring for these kids. For that, I feel for you.

[SlingBlade]

10. Just a sounding board I'm afraid.

One of those things, Once you hear it, You can't forget it, You can't walk away but what can you do ?

[supernova]

12. Unless you can persuade mom

to get them out of the religious school and into public school (where they can see a nonreligious guidance counselor). I don't know what else you can do. Or offer to baby sit them sometimes to give her a break. (Perhaps seperately if the older child is a bully.)

You might try talking to the guidance counselor at the present school and putting a bug in his/her ear that perhaps these boys need more expert care than that person is qualified to give. They wouldn't, or shouldn't be able to respond to you for confidentiality reasons, but you can tell them your concerns and let them work it out from there.

[SlingBlade]

13. supernova, You've offered some good advice, Thanks

Mom at this point is out of the picture except on visiting days.
I fear to have them here because of smaller children, Though they have been many
times in the past.

I have been thinking about putting a bug in several ears,
But both the parents it seems are going to be very defensive, So ?

You'd think with the Court Appointed Counselor, The Police Report that stated that there
was possible sexual improprieties, The School Counseling due to the bullying and other things
that somebody, Somebody would have stepped up to the plate.

This will either be taken care of now, Or it will spill into society
And I can hear them now, "I wonder why someone didn't do something" ?

Know what I mean ?

[SlingBlade]

9. But then, They do attend a religious school.

[supernova]

2. Dupe

[EFerrari]

5. Your post reads as if that mother molested her boy.

Is that what you intended to write?

"Next up we hear that the mother was pretty lax if not provocative in her dress undress and bathing habits with the boy’s.
Then came revelations of what some long suspected, Molestation."

[SlingBlade]

6. I can't say anymore than what I've been told.

[SlingBlade]

11. There is DCFS and the State Authorities I know, But ?