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James O’Keefe, the ‘videographer’ in recent news who did not mother a child of former Senator John Edwards, today was named as the defendant in an intellectual property and defamation suit filed by the 70s Preservation Society.
“Everything this Mr. O’Keefe does either invokes the most negative stereotypes or puts a negative spin on otherwise positive icons and images from the era the 70s Preservation Society and its members hold dear,” according to Freedom Wasserman, a former Glass Head distributor whose law firm represents the plaintiffs. “The dude’s either in a time warp from the 70s while on a bad trip, or more likely, as the suit alleges, he is trying to defame the most recent decade when most of the country embraced the sort of liberal views he so despises. Whatever the cause, every time a video of ‘Skippy’ in one of those over-the-top seventies costumes appears on television, there’s a measurable upswing in really un-cool flashbacks among Society members.”
When asked to elaborate on how Mr. O’Keefe’s attire could evoke such a strong, negative response from baby-boomers with afros, Wasserman responded, “First, he dresses like a pimp from a Richard Roundtree movie and goes into ACORN offices. Then, he dresses like the construction worker from the Village People and tries to ‘bug’ a Democratic Senator’s headquarters. If that’s not a negative depiction of the ’70s’, I don’t know what is. The only explanation for such behavior is that the defendant is either maliciously defaming the decade of the 1970s, as the suit alleges, or he’s some crackpot living in a bygone era with delusions that he’s both Woodward and Bernstein at the same time.”
Against advice of counsel, Mr. O’Keefe greeted reporters in the basement of his parents’ Westwood, New Jersey home. Clad in a powder-blue polyester leisure suit and earth shoes, he described himself as, “… a proud member of the silent majority who could remain silent no longer,” adding, “I am the man who would risk his neck for his brother man.”
Surrounded by lava lamps and black-light posters while playing a game of ‘Pong’ in his self-described ‘comfort zone’, the Fox News wunderkind went on to talk of his inevitable vindication once he reveals the truth of what he described as, “a vast left-wing conspiracy that doesn’t merely involve community activists and Senate Democrats, but a cover-up that leads directly to the Committee to Re-Elect the President, and, I believe, the White House itself.”
Mr. O’Keefe concluded the proceedings with a challenge to the reporters present. “You all think I’m some nut with a 70s fixation who’s looking for any opportunity to take down liberals. But I’ll bet both my mood ring and my L.E.D. watch that when I get to the bottom of this story, the President will resign. And to whoever takes the bet, all I have to say is this:” Then, breaking into a falsetto voice, he sang, “When you lose, don’t ask no questions why.”
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