Top 10 Punditing Tips for Sarah Palin

[123abawd]

Our old friend Martin Eisenstadt has a hilarious post today with his "Top 10 Punditing Tips for Sarah Palin" now that she'll be a pundit on Fox News:
http://www.eisenstadtgroup.com/2010/01/12/the-biggest-loser-top-10-punditing-tips-for-sarah-palin/

Here's a few I particularly liked:

The Hot Mic. Keep in mind that once they put a wireless mic on you in the green room, be very careful what you say. A sound guy somewhere will record every word you say even if the camera’s off. Of course, you can also make this work to your advantage by insulting someone under your breath and then claiming ignorance later (see Jesse Jackson).

Product Placement. You can now get free clothes by telling designers you’ll wear them on TV (and without all those pesky FEC disclosures that got you into trouble before). Your question won’t be “what” to wear, it’ll be “who” to wear. Everyday is the Oscars when you’re a pundit! It’ll be hard to get Fox to get a head/shoulder pundit shot of you in those free ASICS running shoes you wore on the cover of Newsweek, but you could pull a Madeleine Albright and bedazzle a different designer brooch each time you’re on…and get paid for it!

Know your Pundit Catchphrases. “To the extent that…” “I would argue…” “What I think you’re really saying is…” “That’s an excellent question and I’m glad you brought that up…” and “Bob, if you’re finished whining like a little girl with a broken hockey stick, I believe it’s my turn to talk…”

[billybob537]

1. And JEEBUS CRIPES whatever you do

DO not be yourself. Your dummer than dirt self will only work on potatos.

[crim son]

2. ...

:spray:

[billyoc]

4. So, the Fox viewership, then.

[damntexdem]

5. But, then, you're sure to provide the potatoes plenty of fertilizer.

All you have to do is open your mouth. ;-)

[123abawd]

3. I probably should have put "Beaver" or "Canadian History" in subject line

...might have gotten more views.

[damntexdem]

6. Yeah, and beavers just don't get their due in Canadian history.

But if they wander into Alaska, they are at risk of being shot at from a helicopter.

Poor little critters!

[90-percent]

7. One more suggestion

Do a Palin wink at the camera just before going to commercial.

-90% jimmy

[gratuitous]

8. And no matter what steaming pile of nonsense your guest ends with

Be sure to recap and say, "All right, Democrats will kill your puppies while you sleep. Well, I guess we'll have to leave it there, because we're out of time. Tune in tomorrow as I talk to the ever-reclusive Newt Gingrich to get his unique perspective on the events of the day."

And remember those poor schlubs in the control room who have to whittle down six hours of your mindless blathering into five usable minutes.