THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS NUKES

[Jeffersons Ghost]

'Twas the night before voting, when all through the House;

Representatives sought cash for their children and spouse.

The health-plan was read for the twenty-fourth time;

In hopes that Insurers wouldn't pay out one dime.

The senators huddled like rats in the hall;

While a rodent named Lieberman made health-care stall.

As Obama with his mischief, denied all he'd said;

Then sent thirty thousand troops, that soon would be dead.

When on the Whitehouse lawn there arose stupid signs;

Of a Tea-Party group with heads up their behinds.

And then on the TV I saw a bright cloud:

Iran had nuked Israel, for crying out loud.

Then some turbaned fool took credit and blame;

I'd seen him before but forgotten his name.

When, what to my wondering nose did I smell;

But a flying camel caravan, straight out of hell.

With a little old driver, so camel-dung sodden;

I knew in a moment it must be Bin Laden.

Chased by hornets, strike-eagles and an f-4 corsair;

He called well-known names like he just didn't care.

"Now, Daschle, Nancy and Barrack are like Nixon;

On, Iraq and Afghanistan their brains are a 'missin!

To their rag- top Porche and their Mercedes Benz!

They were well-bribed on a war, we just couldn't win

As nukes in Israel flew from that nation;

Straight to Iran, in retaliation,

They blew off house-tops with corsairs they flew,

But an ICBM blew up Bin Laden too.

And then, Fox news cut to some Mid-East newsman;

Who said it was time to nuke Pakistan.

As I drew in my head, while it was still there:

And hid under the bed, in this nuclear scare.

And some special force guy was out in the kitchen;

While a Fox newsgirl was moaning and bitching.

A bundle of bombs he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a monster in a forty-pound pack.

His eyes -- how they hid behind goggled night-vision;

As his laser-sight locked: but what was his mission?

His droll little coat was tan and white cammo;

And he was packed to the max with big guns and ammo.

The stump of his arm hung from his shirt;

And his clothes were all covered in sand and dirt.

Then when he spoke, I formed a plan;

'Cause he was my son from Afghanistan.

And I swore he wouldn't go back over there;

I'd get him in Congress where they just didn't care.

A wink of his eye and a trauma to his head,

Soon gave me to know I had plenty to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to TV;

Where Fox gave a terrorist speeches for free.

And laying down fast beside our big tree;

He blasted that image; He had PTSD

As I watched him freak out I knew what we'd find;

That VA funding would be left far behind.

Tax-payers, soldiers, and workers they fleece

But all I want for Christmas is my son in one piece

Nothing about America is right

still, "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

[Jeffersons Ghost]

1. this took me so long to write that I'm not letting it simply slip from the board

:kick:

[nykym]

2. Love it

Merry Xe-mas

[Jeffersons Ghost]

3. Thanks for the kick and votes...

I hope it gets 3 more little recommendations, so it will take off on the greatest page. I guess it's a tough readership today or maybe anti-war stuff isn't stylish anymore.

Maybe my headline sux.

Who knows why some quickly produced news item goes right to the top and stuff like this flounder and fail?

[Libertas1776]

4. K&R

[dana_b]

5. k&r

for creativity!!

[Jeffersons Ghost]

7. thanks... I had 5 votes a minute ago. I guess someone rescinded their vote. Here's my 1st DU post:

h like this last one

HOW THE GRINCH STOLE FREEDOM

Every Free
Down in Free-ville
Liked Freedom a lot...
But the Grinch,
Who ruled oil, in Texas
Did NOT!

The Grinch hated Freedom!
and the whole Constitution!
Don't ask why he supports Bill of Rights Resolution.
It could be that he never got screwed just quite right.
It could be, while pregnant, his mom drank to get tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his brain was two sizes too small.

But,
Whatever the reason,
His brain or disease,
He stood on the Hill, hating the Frees,
Staring down from the White House, with a sour Grinchy face
At the warm hearts below, of the whole human race.
For he knew every Free, in that big Free-ville nation
Was busy at work, to pay for vacation.

"And they're driving their cars!" he sighed with a moan.
"But after election, they’ll all sit at home!"
Then he growled, with his grinch-fingers nervously thumping,
"I MUST jack up fuel. They need a good humping!"
For, tomorrow, he knew...
...in a TV debate
He’d have to face issues that just wouldn’t wait!

And then! Oh, the truth! Oh, the TRUTH! TRUTH! TRUTH! TRUTH!
He’d never told it once, at least not since his youth!
Then the Frees, young and old, would sit down for TV.
And they'd listen! And they'd watch!
And they'd SEE! SEE! SEE! SEE!
They’d find out his sick brain, was as small as a pea
Which made Grinch wish his mom, had drunk only tea!

And THEN
They'd do something, he hated most from afar!
Every Free down in Free-ville, would head for their car,
and they’d open the doors, those Frees sure were striving.
Then they’d crank them all up and the Frees would start driving!
They'd drive! And they'd drive!
AND they'd DRIVE! DRIVE! DRIVE! DRIVE!

And the more the Grinch thought of the Fast-Driving-Frees…
The more he slumped into Grinch mental disease.
"Why for fifty-three years I've put up with this sin!
I MUST stop this Free-driving!
...But WHEN?"

Then he got a symptom!
An awful symptom!
THE GRINCH
GOT AN AWFULLY GREEDY BRAIN SYMPTOM!

"I know just what to do!" That Grinch was a mess.
As he decided to fool um in Christian-Cross-Dress!
He made a Christian-Claus hat and coat from our Flag.
Then he chuckled, while thinking of going in drag!
"With this coat and this hat, I'll earn their esteem!”
Is a nightmare in drag the American Dream?

"All I need is minorities, in some high places..."
The Grinch looked for brown or even black faces.
”Hmmm,” mulled the Grinch, “there’s that maid in my house.”
But she seems too feisty and I need a mouse
Did that stop the old Grinch...?

No! The Grinch simply said,
"If I can't find a minority, I'll make one instead!"
So he called Condoleezza. She came from the south
With a horn in the tooth-space, right in her mouth!
He knew with that horn, he’d control what she’d say
Unlike the black General, he’d made go away

THEN
He loaded his oil stocks
In some old empty sacks
And sent them to Houston
With no paper tracks.
As the Grinch blamed the Moslems, while making smart cracks…

Oil prices rose and the economy went down.
And you’d think those Frees would run him from town.
National debt went way up, which the Grinch found quite funny
But he tricked them again by printing more money!
All the Frees seemed asleep. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Frees dreamt American Dreams without care
How’d he get in the White House? Well, it wasn’t quite fair.

"This is stop number one," that Grinch Cross-Dresser hissed
And he snuck to their car, with a can in his fist.
Then slid in the siphon, a rather tight pinch.
But if gas thieves could do it, then so could the Grinch.
He got gas in his mouth, for a moment or so.
But he knew without gas those cars wouldn’t go!
Then he went to a church, where cars parked in a row.
"These Christians," he grinned, "are too dumb to know!"

Then he slurped and slunk, with a smile most insane,
And sucked on his siphon, like Free candy-cane!
Toyotas and Dodges! Chevys and Fords!
There’s been no worse crime, since Huns ran in hoards!
He filled all his cans, in a manner quite stern
And lit up a match but the stuff wouldn’t burn!
Then called on his phone, while starting to frown
In Houston, they said “it’s too watered down!”

He knew low octane was real cheap to make.
And kept right on trying, while screaming “Petes sake!”
Then an idea arose, in his mind like a boil.
"I’ll go inside NOW and steal heating oil!"
The Grinch grabbed their supply, and started to shove
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Free!
Little Cindy-Lee Free, who was not more than three.

The Grinch had been caught by this little Free daughter
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She stared at the Grinch and said, "Christian Claus, why,
"Why are you taking our heating oil? WHY?"

You know, Grinch wasn’t smart but still oh-so-slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Christian lied,
"This oil will only light up on one side.
"So I'm recalling it back to Houston, my dear.
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."

And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head
And he got her a drink and he sent he to bed.
And when Cindy-Lee Free went to bed with her cup,
HE went to the fireplace to light their oil right up!

Then the last thing he saw, way down the Free-hall
Was a framed Constitution, which hung from the wall
He set fire to the parchment, that nasty old liar.
But while it was burning, the Grinch caught on fire!
Unlike cheap gas, crap burns pretty well
Maybe that con would soon sear in Grinch-Hell!

Then
He did the same thing
Although singed to a cinder
Leaving every car empty
He even stole a fender!

And as sleepy-head Frees, all slept in their bed
He packed the High Court, without using his head
It was quarter past dawn... a good time to snooze
As he loaded the Court, with Nazis on booze…
All unadorned crooks, no ribbons or wrappings!
No tags or tinsel! No trimmings or trappings!
He’d raise fuel prices, as high as Mount Crumpit,
Then call his stock-broker and tell him to dump it!

"He, he, he on Free-Orleans!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming.
"They're finding out soon that relief is not coming!”
"They're waking up now! I know how they'll be!”
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or three…”
"Then, the Frees down in Free-ville will all cry WE SEE!"
"That's a noise," grinned the Grinch,
"That I simply must hear!"

So he paused. And the Grinch put a hand to his ear…
Then he turned on his grinch-nuke-tronic-eavesdrop.
Yeah, he’d stretch the law, when there wasn’t a cop…
But he HAD to hear all of those Free-hearts go pop!
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...

The sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Free-ville!
The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook!

What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Free down in Free-ville, the tall and the small,
Was finally free-thinking… with no Rights at all!
He HADN'T stopped Freedom from coming!
IT CAME!
All other dictators would soon learn the same!

And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
It came without a war! It came with no pact!
"It came without changing The Patriot Act!"
And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Freedom," he thought, doesn't hang in a frame…
"Maybe Freedom...perhaps...is a much bigger game!"
And what happened then...?

Well...in Free-ville they say
That the Grinch's small brain
Finally wandered away!
And the minute his head didn't feel so up-tight…
He hid like Bin Laden, from the bright morning light…
And he lied like Saddam, right up to his trial!
And he...
...HE HIMSELF...!
Plead insanity, with a smile!

[dana_b]

8. ha! actually the Grinch

was more likeable than *. Good going!! Oh, and I gave you a rec I guess some just are feeling surly this Merry Christmas Eve.

[Jeffersons Ghost]

11. perhaps my tin-foil hat is too tight today....

But sometimes I think NSA type trolls vanish or discredit online anti-war pieces to win a WAR OF IDEAS.

Do you know what NSA stand for? No Such Agency

[Jeffersons Ghost]

12. from 7 to 5 votes again... it's one of those days

[Jeffersons Ghost]

19. i wonder if changing my headline made votes vanish

[Echo In Light]

6. Too much of America is 'Right'

[Jeffersons Ghost]

9. yes, FAR "right"

[Echo In Light]

10. And scarier yet, a good bulk of em aren't remotely cognizant of their own rightward leanings

Decades of day to day RW/business propaganda and cultural value$ - that are strategically not identified as such - tends to have that effect on the public mind.

[Jeffersons Ghost]

14. here's a graphic you'll appreciate:

[Echo In Light]

16. And...

[begin_within]

13. Great job... thanks

[cherokeeprogressive]

15. "all I want for Christmas is my son in one piece" Best line of your very creative effort.

I'm sure there are literally hundreds of thousands wishing for that outcome today, for their sons AND daughters.

K & R

[Cleita]

17. Help you out with

a rec and:kick:

[AuntPatsy]

18. Very good, I enjoy poetry always have, and this one is up there...