Chuck Norris: Public health care would have killed Baby Jesus

[depakid]

Source: Raw Story

Movie star and Mike Huckabee booster Chuck Norris has dragged the "War on Christmas" into the health care debate. Norris has penned an article in which he suggests that Jesus Christ would have been among many "great souls" who would have been "erased from history" had a health plan similar to the one proposed by the Democrats existed in the Levant 2,000 years ago.

In a column published at the conservative Human Events blog earlier this week, Norris suggested that if a government-run health care plan had existed in Bethlehem at the time of Jesus' birth, the shame of Mary's "out-of-wedlock" pregnancy would have pushed her into aborting her child. Norris wrote:

Lastly, as we near the eve of another Christmas, I wonder: What would have happened if Mother Mary had been covered by Obamacare? What if that young, poor and uninsured teenage woman had been provided the federal funds (via Obamacare) and facilities (via Planned Parenthood, etc.) to avoid the ridicule, ostracizing, persecution and possible stoning because of her out-of-wedlock pregnancy? Imagine all the great souls who could have been erased from history and the influence of mankind if their parents had been as progressive as Washington's wise men and women!

The movie actor famed for his turns in the Missing In Action movies and Walker, Texas Ranger then asked, "Will Obamacare morph into Herodcare for the unborn?"

Read more: http://rawstory.com/2009/12/norris-obamacare-killed-jesus/

[budkin]

1. Why does everyone worship this ignorant piece of shit?

[NinetySix]

20. Because Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer.

Too bad he never cries. EVER.

[Ken Burch]

2. Uh Chuck, you do realize that Jesus was a WANTED child, don't you?

And that the baby daddy was pretty good about paying child support?

[Hissyspit]

3. Wow.

The stupid is absolutely excruciating.

[whirlygigspin]

4. baby Jesus used to ride dinosaurs too

thanks Chuck for your wonderful POV

[whirlygigspin]

5. baby Jesus used to ride dinosaurs too

thanks Chuck for your wonderful POV

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

50. Let's start with this...

According to the Bible (you know, Chuckles, the inerrant one that you read), the Angel Gabriel appeared to Mary and told her what was going to happen. Similarly an angel appeared to Joseph in a drean and told him to not fear taking Mary as his wife, even though she was expecting a child that was clearly not his.

So if Mary and Joseph, having been visited by God and told they were going to be giving birth to the Messiah said, "Meh, let's go get an abortion," I'm pretty sure that God would have been making a huge mistake in chosing these two Nazarean Trailer Trash, don't you think? But since I'm pretty sure you believe that God is incapable of making mistakes, it pretty much renders your idiotic point moot, now doesn't it?

But son of a bitch, with if Noah had built a submarine?! Now THAT would have been cool!!

[yourout]

6. Talk about to many kicks to the head.

[UpInArms]

7. Why isn't this POS dead yet?

he's worse than a saddle bag with eyes - he's braindead and has nothing to offer humanity.

[Blasphemer]

8. The man is a complete nutter... nt

[muntrv]

9. ...But thanks to Blue Cross/Blue Shield, Jesus was born.

:eyes:

[valerief]

When it was a not-for-profit, not now. Mary and Joseph wouldn't have been able

to afford the out-of-pockets expenses AND the premiums.

[Miss Authoritiva]

21. Not only that...

but they also paid to have the Baby Jesus' umbilical hernia surgically repaired too! Of course, that was after claiming for 6 to 8 weeks that the hernia was actually a preexisting condition, but Joseph was unrelenting in appealing the decision to a higher authority.

[muntrv]

10. When will Bruce Lee's punching bag shut up?

[Brickbat]

11. ....Aaaaand now that we've come full circle, the universe can implode.

I swear I'm going to start drinking every day.

[valerief]

12. You mean we wouldn't have had to deal with these lunatic Xtians?

Praise the Lord!

[mrs_p]

13. mr. p says chuck norris

killed baby jesus then raised him from the dead...

:7

[Wickerman]

14. Wow, Chuck Norris' God is so puny that it couldn't survive Herodcare?

fucking numbnuts.

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

52. It really gets down to that, doesn't it?

These pseudo-Christians are afraid of their own shadow. That whole "yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death" stuff aside, they see themselves as beset by dangers all around. And they clearly are lacking in faith because they seem to believe that the God they worship is in danger too.

He's Fucking GOD, you morans! You know. Fire. Brimstone. Flood the whole fucking world if you piss me off enough. He doesn't need Chuck Norris to protect him.

[Botany]

15. "to avoid the ridicule .... because of her out-of-wedlock pregnancy"

WTF is he talking about? Ah Mary & Joseph went to Bethlehem ..... :rofl:

He doesn't even know the story of Christ's birth?

And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another:
"Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this king which is to come to pass, which the Lord hath made known
unto us." And they came with haste, and found Mary and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.

[Ozymanithrax]

16. He wants to kill Health Care.

He would feel right at home here.

[and-justice-for-all]

17. What a dumb ass...nt

[Canuckistanian]

18. No, Mary would have been stoned to death by the local conservatives

For having sex out of wedlock. The innkeeper was a liberal.

[jwirr]

19. Chuckie you big ass. Exactly what government run health care program

now forces women to have an abortion? Medicare? Medicaid? Indian Health? Veteran's Administration? Champus? None that I know of.

But lack of prenatal health care for pregnant women can cause spontaneous abortion or in other words a miscarriage.

[Gregorian]

22. Oh noes! It's Passover health care.

[debbierlus]

23. Harodcare?

I am sorry but this is just fucking hilarious.

(I know, I know, but C'MON)

[marasinghe]

38. yeah; a free xmas handout to employees at harrod's department store, in london ...

when they get paper-cuts from wrapping too many gift purchases.
and - as you may well wonder - what's the connection?
well - it makes as much sense as chucky-do's line of reasoning - is the connection.


bruce lee once made up a fake tombstone to classical martial arts:
"... dedicated to the memory of a once fluid man, jammed and distorted by the classical mess ...".
i think, chucklehead - or bruce lee's punching bag, as another poster noted here - just wrote his own epitaph.
but, i am probably mistaken on this.
he'll surely come up with something even better, in very short order. after all, he's a master.

[Gregorian]

56. Harodcare! Rachel must have read this thread.

She just mentioned Harodcare.

[Enrique]

24. that premise would make a great movie

like an "It's a wonderful life" or a "Back to the future" type movie. What was Chuck's last movie? It's been a while, hasn't it, I think this could be his comeback vehicle.

[rpannier]

25. Public health care would have killed Baby Jesus

As opposed to Pontius Pilate...

Hell of a Christian you are Chuck
You think so little of God that you believe God's will is weakened by any force of man.

You're a really crappy Christian

[ceveritt]

26. more grist for the Texas De-Ranger

Well, Chuck, if you really enjoy pondering such imponderables, then consider this one: What if Spartacus had a Piper Cub?

While you chew on that, please just go away and be silent for a while.

[Arkana]

27. Chuck Norris kills baby Jesus.

[pundaint]

28. On Rachell's show Kent said that with obama care Baby Jesus wouldn't have to be born in a barn

[Lint Head]

29. Please burn every movie this stupid piece of fecal matter ever made!

[liberal N proud]

30. The wheels sure fell off the bus with that one

[New Dawn]

31. Chuck Norris is a reactionary idiot. Even his movies sucked.

[marasinghe]

32. sure, colonel braddock; just like you single-handedly defeated the entire NVA; 3 times. (n/t)

[DeSwiss]

33. Too many blows to the head. n/t

[8 track mind]

34. Damn. I wish Bruce lee had finished him off for real

Fuckin' a man. That's more fucked up than anything I can come up with after a whiskey bender.

[lolly]

35. Her main problem sounds more like religious whackjobs

Since they would be the ones subjecting her to "ridicule, ostracizing, persecution and possible stoning because of her out-of-wedlock pregnancy," and they would have been fighting to keep her, as a "young, poor, and uninsured teenage woman" from getting any form of public assistance.

[depakid]

40. The disconnect is astonishing, isn't it?

[Zhade]

36. You can't kill a mythological figure.

Stupid Norris.

[Beartracks]

37. He seems to be as accurate as Orrin Hatch

Seriously, he's trying to make a case that Mary, a "young, poor and uninsured teenage woman" would experience "ridicule, ostracizing, persecution and possible stoning" at the hands of PROGRESSIVES?

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[MilesColtrane]

39. Whenever Chuck Norris says something stupid...

it always feels good to watch Bruce Lee humiliate and maim his character in "Return".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYHZEu7Y7DU

[Bette Noir]

45. Darn, I thought the text below that header was going to be

"An angel gets his wings."

[Frank Booth]

41. Yeah, but it wouldn't have killed him as fast as a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

Oh, how I wish Chuck Norris would come over to our side.

Why does one of the greatest icons of the past hundred years have to be a Republican?!?

[Akoto]

42. As Rachel Maddow put it ...

Not verbatim, but close: "If they'd had a plan like Obamacare, Mary might've given birth in a hospital, rather than a barn."

[Ed76638]

43. Who denied Mary and Joseph a stay at the inns?

Oh that's right: It was the PRIVATE INNKEEPERS.

Fucking Jackass.

[onehandle]

44. Why does Chuck Norris doubt Jesus?

I think Jesus would have overcome this mythical situation.

What part of 'God' do you not get, Chucky?

[SoapBox]

46. ...nutz

This guy is another right wing Rushpub psycho.

...lies...lies...lies...and more made up shit. Thanks for all of that Chuckles.

[DesertFlower]

47. he is such a f------ asshole. nt

[Ichingcarpenter]

48. Health care is stronger and mightier than God's Son

or God or whatever ...... wait a minute....
So God is less powerful than healthcare....

I don't get it.

[Quantess]

49. But, if you had Chuck Norris Action Jeans, Baby Jesus would have thought twice!

[AndrewP]

51. Why do people pay attention to this overrated piece of shit?

[Mari333]

53. doddering old fool.

[_cash_thatswhatiwant]

54. Why is Texas Ranger relevant again?nt

[tonekat]

55. He has long been in the "Chuck Who?" trashcan, he's irrelevant N/T

[Name removed]

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