Selfishness on a small scale...... still troubling

[SoCalDem]

A little history, first.

Every year at Christmastime, my bowling leagues have two "fun nights".. The bowling still counts, but we have a potluck one week, and then a gift-raffle the next week, and then we take off 2 weeks for the actual holiday..

December is usually a fun month for us all.

These are two long-standing leagues (19 years), and consist of teams of five each.. these people know each other.. we have had marriages on the league..many of them..and even a wedding for two kids that met as grade-schoolers in the playroom.

We go to each others' weddings, parties, and attend funerals for lost loved ones.

WE know each other..and know each other well.

Our potlucks are easy as pie.. each team brings a complete meal-for-5, and all the food is put out buffet style.. We've been doing this FOREVER, and no one ever goes home hungry.

the food runs the gamut from a pizza picked up an the way to the lanes, to handmade tamales to authentic Thai food, to home-made ravioli, to my very own trademarked tri-tip.


Now we flashforward to last night.. The FOUR banquet tables we always use, were very slim-pickins..

As I walked around I saw FIVE teams who had decided to have their own "secret food"..just for their own team..

Not being a shy person, I asked them why they were not adding the food to the others on the buffet tables.. their answers surprised me:

team A :. "We brought guests & did not want to have people wonder why non-bowlers were eating".. That's a fair assumption, except for the fact that it happens every year, and their guests are known to us all, and people who bring guests, just make more food..

team B:.. " We're afraid that all the "good stuff" will be gone before we get to the table, because we're too far from the table"..an odd response, since there is always food begging to be taken home at the end of the night, and we never have "rules" about when you can go thru the line..

team C..."We made this from scratch, and we don't want someone who brought a pizza to load up on OUR enchiladas"... this was really a flooring response, especially from that team.. these people are the most generous, kindest sweetest people you would ever want to meet.

team D..."Last year someone took home my serving spoon".. This one cracked me up & I said..feel free to take one from the ziploc bag FULL of extra serving utensils I bring every year..

team E.."We brought steak"..... um--okay-then

Our potluck for the other league is tonight, so maybe it will be fine, but I was truly amazed at how the mindset changed from one year to the next..how people would suddenly become food-hoarders..sharing only with their "buddies"..

[Sherman A1]

1. I think selfishness on any level is just wrong, but really

what are we to do?

Hope tonight goes better.

[zonkers]

2. Give the guy back his serving spoon. Sheesh.

[SoCalDem]

4. Me too.. I am really worried about next week's raffle

I buy the gifts with MY money, and when the cost is covered, the rest is donated to the league's prize fund.. This might be the year "my cost" is not covered:scared: between both leagues, I've shelled out close to $500..

[Altoid_Cyclist]

3. I wish that I had some positive or insightful thought to allay your concerns.

However, with the things that I've been reading here this week, I'm fresh out of inspiring posts. Luckily, this country is resilient and things might change for the better next year.

On the flip side, there are a lot of Americans hurting this year. Of course, we still have it better than the citizens of too many countries to count, so that is a small comfort.

Hopefully, the party tonight will be :party: :toast: :bounce: :thumbsup: :woohoo:

Let us know how the party tonight goes.

[petronius]

5. If five teams went this route simultaneously, is it possible that there's been some

simmering tension that you haven't been aware of? Maybe you could ask a member of one of those teams one-on-one and see if you get a more realistic answer...

[SoCalDem]

6. I don't doubt the reality of their answers

and no one was angry,.. well ... the guy who lost his serving spoon seemed a bit peeved:)

[Winterblues]

7. This kind of amazes me

I have noticed this year much more Christmas Spirit everywhere I look. Most homes this year have outside Christmas lights and decorations up, where the last several years the exact opposite was apparent. Why would your friends and family suddenly become selfish when the exact opposite seems to be happening throughout the land? I don't get it...:shrug:

[SoCalDem]

8. surprised me too.. I guess we'll skip it next year

the whole ides is to get to try specialty dishes from other people, not to eat your own food...which you could coordinate with your own team , and bring ANY TIME you wanted..

[Sherman A1]

9. Yeah it seems like time to re-visit the "plan"

It could be that the other teams had grown tired of the pot luck and it may be time to do something different. But, I too see a general shift towards selfishness. It's hard to put a finger on it and the economics of the times might be part of it (I don't think so) but, who knows.

Don't let it get you down, because there is nothing you can do about someone else being selfish. The part about the gift exchange and the $$ burden on you is a cause for concern and I hope that works out without costing you anything.